terrorism
That “dry-run” terrorist bomb that put Europe on high alert the past week? It was made by your grandma: A dummy bomb that sparked an international terror alert was made by an 80-year-old woman in California and ended up discarded in a Namibia airport because of “a boo-boo,” NBC News reported Friday. [...] It remains [...]
Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, the first Guantanamo Bay prisoner to be tried in a civil court, was acquitted yesterday on all but one of the 285 charges against him, so this nation was that close to having a freed terrorist walking through our culs-de-sac, stealing our children’s bikes out of front yards and strapping bombs to [...]
Oh lookee, the nation’s primary employer of high-school dropouts stealing your laptop and feeling up your 13-year-old daughter in airport security lines now says it’s “irresponsible” for you to opt-out of being stuck into a dangerous radiation chamber that produces x-ray porno pictures of Americans paying hundreds or thousands of dollars to fly on a [...]
Guess who’s pushing for these radiation/porn camera tubes in every airport, to first debase you and then kill you with cancer? Hollow-eyed death monster Michael Chertoff, former director of Homeland Security! He’s now a lobbyist for the death-porn humiliation chambers, which is why it’s very important to security — his financial security — that you [...]
Sarah Palin, the most perfect living human being since Jesus, made absolutely perfect Senate picks — all of them lost. In several cases, her vain and idiotic intrusions cost the GOP perfectly safe races. Just to bring back the sweet memories of Election Day 2010, here are the Senate candidates “helped” by Palin: Sharron Angle [...]
Somebody maybe found a bomb (a 45-cent crate-opening pocket tool) on an airliner, and now the plane has landed, in Oregon. There was a note, too! (Maybe threatening?) Combined with the UPS/FedEx/Cast Away horror of last week and something mailed to Germany from Greece, we are going to need to anally prod a lot more [...]
Are you headed to Washington for the big comedy rally we are having in lieu of possessing any grand ambition, moral beliefs or personal dignity? Hooray, hope you like Sheryl Crow a lot! Also: Hope you don’t get shot by the armed & dangerous lunatic firing on anything he thinks is a U.S. Marine or [...]
For decades, the nation’s dogs have known something was up with those UPS and FedEx deliveries — and now the frightened, collapsing empires of the West are realizing our canine friends might have had the right idea all along. Perhaps it wasn’t so “crazy” after all when they hurled themselves against the chain link or [...]
Do you enjoy having three or four obese high-school dropouts looking at you naked, through your clothes, simply because you have a plane to catch? Welcome to America! Also, pilots are getting randomly grabbed by these moronic security guards and pointed to the Naked Camera Machines. This one pilot apparently said, “Uh, no, I’m a [...]
America’s epidemic of Satan-worshiping Republican witch-monsters is alarming our allies from Paris to Riyadh, according to this Google News alert. Why is Christine O’Donnell trying to bomb Paris with Meghan McCain? Can NATO air defenses hit a demon on a broomstick at 45,000 feet? Can the Eiffel Tower Mosque survive a direct hit by Meghan [...]
Everyone knows that the ’60s are hipper than ever! But allegedly, some overachieving members of the 5th Stryker Combat Brigade, of the 2nd Infantry Division, weren’t content to have a Mad Men-themed costume party. No, it got real My Lai-licious over in the Afghanistan, at least according to evidence and testimony presented at a military [...]
What’s up, Gibbs? Screwing around on Twitter again, instead of fixing America’s economy? And now look what happened, while America was looking inward instead of watching its Twitter Borders for scary Slavic/Muslim “eco terrorists” on the Internet: Twitter is somehow hacked! All you have to do is be a powerful figure in a socialist-thug administration, [...]
It seems like just yesterday your afternoon editor’s junior high school was in total, day-long lockdown because somebody dropped some Sweet ‘N Low in the parking lot. Now the Capitol building has shut down for a little early-2000s nostalgia to celebrate those classic post-9/11 fear memories. “Early reports indicated the suspicious substance was an undetermined [...]
Marc Thiessen has made his Joe Namath guarantee: There WILL be an al-Qaeda attack on America next year when 9/11 turns the “big one-oh.” How does Thiessen know this? Is he a member of al-Qaeda? Perhaps. But if he is not now, he will be soon, because he needs to infiltrate them to MAKE SURE [...]
