terrorism
Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People
Rick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his “exclusive” gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing in whats-his-name, the black guy. Here are Rick Santorum’s babies of his brain: Obama’s nominee for [...]
NYPD Has Foiled Every Terror Plot In History, Including Guy Fawkes And Assassination Of Archduke Ferdinand
Gosh, it’s good to know that since 9/11, the NYPD has ramped up its counter-terrorism capabilities to the point where it now has a domestic surveillance unit that would be the envy of many a small nation-state, because, hey, apart from some niggling little complaints from civil liberties extremists, that huge anti-terror apparatus has gotten [...]
Who’s Hanging Out With The Iranian Terrorist Group Now?
Every big- and middle-name Democrat and Republican loves raking in fees to speak to the exiled Iranian Marxist guerilla group MEK, an official member of the State Department’s terrorist group list that also happens to hate the current Iranian regime. This seems pretty illegal, but hey, maybe we just love the Ayatollah and Ahmadinejad too [...]
FBI Breaks Up Latest Terrorist Plot That It Created
In a super-neato sting operation today, the FBI totally intercepted a Muslim Terrorist wearing a suicide bomb vest en route to the Capitol, to blow it up. Sucker! Caught you! Go eat an Abortionplex-sized bag of dicks, guy! (But really, thank you for taking all of the pretend bombs our agents gave you and going [...]
NYPD Trained Police Force With Endlessly Looping Anti-Muslim Film
A terrible documentary film called “The Third Jihad,” allegedly bestowed upon the New York Police Department by someone at the Department of Homeland Security, was used to “train” new policepersons, was apparently put “on a continuous loop” at NYPD HQ, and was viewed by nearly 1,500 officers in total during its run, which began in [...]
Doomsday Clock 5 Minutes ‘Til Midnight; Iranian Assassinated
How are things? Bad? Oh. Well, there’s always “Angry Birds” or whatever. Oxycontin. And the fancy scientist people have moved the “symbolic” Doomsday Clock another minute closer to Midnight. This does not mean “another minute closer to Santa’s visit,” or whatever the popular superstitions are these days. It means the world will come to an [...]
Arizona Gun Nuts Pose Children With Assault Rifles and Santa
Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let’s remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says “mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus” like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns ‘n Santa family foto event. “I thinks it’s going to be all in fun from those who support the second [...]
Not Even FBI Cares About Bloomberg’s Phony Terror Suspect
While #OWS protesters created a “weaponized drum circle” around Michael Bloomberg’s mansion over the weekend, the mayor’s attempt to get people to freak out about the terrorisms was a total failure. Not even the terror-happy federal government was convinced by New York’s lame-o made-up terror suspect. Reuters reports: Federal authorities declined to join the local [...]
Do Novels Cause Old Person Terrorism?
A bunch of decrepit rednecks fantasizing about mass murder is a common enough occurrence in North Georgia (your Wonkette bookman knows this from lifelong experience). What’s different about the alleged plot by this AARP IRA is that they had the misfortune to run into an FBI informant who actually challenged them to put their brain-damaged [...]
Geezers Charged With Terror Plot Inspired By Fox News ‘Expert’
The Year of Rage is moving along nicely: The four elderly Georgia men arrested for their alleged plot to kill a bunch of federal employees and simultaneously attack a half-dozen cities with poison and some other Rage Batman stuff were all inspired by a Fox News personality’s insanely inspirational novel about killing all the evil [...]
Happy 10th Birthday, TSA! Thanks For, Uhh, Nothing?
Have you been celebrating the tenth anniversary of the Transportation Security Administration? We sure have! We’ve been doing all kinds of crazy stuff, like feeling up old cripples and making babies take their shoes off and doing the Naked X-Ray on some crying nuns and pouring out little kids’ milk and sticking our hands into [...]
Half of Republicans Don’t Know What ‘G.O.P.’ Means
It’s time for the greatest scientific barometer of America’s intellect, the Vanity Fair/CBS News poll of dingbat potpourri questions thrown at a representative sample of Americans who haven’t had their phone lines turned off by Verizon yet. What did our pollsters ask this time? To be weird, instead of asking a series of completely random [...]
Drone Terror Attack Thwarted Because Only Pentagon Is Allowed To Do That
What could be wrong about a robot-drone plane raining death and destruction upon the Enemy? Everything, when a Muslim wants to do it! (Otherwise, this is called “10 years of U.S. war in Afghanistan.”) Somehow, the FBI found an angry young Islamic dude in America who was, for some reason, angry about the endless murder [...]
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