terrorism
A Children’s Treasury Of Pundits Saying Stupid Things About The NSA This Weekend
Unless you have been living in a cave on Mars with your eyes closed and your fingers in your ears — an increasingly attractive option, we’ll admit — you are aware that the Guardian and the Washington Post confirmed that the NSA has been spying on Americans’ phone calls, Facebook accounts, Google searches, emails, iTunes [...]
Piers Morgan Responds To London Terror Killing By Uninviting Dana Loesch From His Birthday Party
In a concrete demonstration of what happens when insufferable jerkbag meets irredeemable boor, Dana Loesch and Piers Morgan had themselves a big ol’ Twitter fight Wednesday, the occasion being Loesch’s tweet in response to the decapitation of a British soldier by a pair of terrorists. Dana made a funny joke about why gun control is [...]
English Defence League Knows What Will Stop Terrorism: Burn Down Anything That Looks Muslimy
You probably heard that terrorists murdered a British soldier in London Wednesday, and of course it goes without saying that attacking people with machetes and meat cleavers to make a political statement is pretty much the definition of Very Wrong. Unless of course you’re the English Defence League, the gang of super-literate racist goons who [...]
Stop Hitting Yourself, And Other Advice For Benghazi-Obsessed Wingnuts
Usually when we at Wonkette tell the opposition to go do something, it is a thing you would not advise your mother to do, on Mother’s Day Eve or any other Eve, unless you wanted to hurt her feelings because she was a bad mother, or because you’re a dick. This is not one of [...]
Minnesota Terror Suspect: Patriot, Gun Fondler, Juggalo
So, yet another home-grown terrorist has been arrested, this time a 24-year-old man who was stockpiling guns, pipe bombs, and Molotov cocktails in his parents’ mobile home near Montevideo, Minnesota. We don’t wish to stereotype (actually, why not, since it saves time?), but you have to figure that somebody with a name like Buford “Bucky” [...]
Girl, Rand Paul Will Drone You All Night Long
Hey remember way back in March when Rand Paul decided to talk for 13 long hours about why he hated drones? Who could forget! That was the kind of amazing display of singleminded enthusiasm for our civil liberties and Constitutional rights that make Rand Paul et al occasionally useful additions to the Senate. HOWEVER, hopefully [...]
What Happens Next Time We’re Attacked?
Four days after the bombing of the Boston marathon and 22 hours after a police officer was killed on the M.I.T. campus, one of the suspects is dead and the other is hospitalized and in some sort of detention that does not involve Miranda rights. A communal breath is taken, after the closest a nation [...]
Sources Confirm: With News That Boston Bombers Were Chechen Muslims, Pam Geller’s Sheets A Total Loss
Like most of you, Yr Wonkette woke up this morning to news announcers cautioning that the story from Boston is “still developing” and “we don’t know all the facts yet,” but for the rage distribution device known as Pam Geller, the only necessary fact is in place: the bombers were Muslims from Chechnya. (Or ethnic [...]
Louie Gohmert Ponders: Can Anyone Tell These Arabs And Messicans Apart?
Actual Sekrit Chatcave Dialogue: Dok Z: Has Louie Gohmert actually not yet said anything stupid about Boston yet? Rebecca S: According to twitter he has said something about something, but I do not know what. Tapatio? Dok Z (after quick Google search): Oh, there we go! See, I thought I was joking. But he came [...]
Glenn Beck Harnesses His Mighty Intellect, Ciphers Out Why No American Could Have Done Boston
We are still in that exciting post-tragedy time when nobody really knows a goddamn thing, but it is very, very important to speculate wildly as to the identity of the Bad Guys! There is a News Hole that needs a-fillin’, after all! Let’s see what Glenn Beck has stuffed into that particular gaping aperture…other than, [...]
Stupidest Man On Internet Applies His Forensic Skillz To Boston Bombing
Jim Hoft, the stupidest man on the internet, is definitely sinking to the occasion! Yesterday, we offered him a nice bag of dicks to eat for claiming that Esquire columnist Charlie Pierce had “blamed” supporters of Patriots’ Day for the blasts (Pierce said nothing of the sort). Today, Hoft wants you to see some shocking [...]
Is Bill O’Reilly A Terrorist? We Are Just Asking Questions
Bill O’Reilly is mad at President Barack Saddam Hussein for calling the Boston Massacre “a tragedy.” Therefore, ergo, ipso facto and Math Science of Words, Bill O’Reilly thinks it was the opposite of a tragedy. Therefore, ergo, ipso facto and Math Science of Words, Bill O’Reilly thinks that hundreds of people being maimed and/or dying, [...]
A Children’s Treasury of NYT Commenters Who Love Eternal Detention
The New York Times posted an op-ed online Sunday night that’s jarring not only because of its content but because of its very existence: It’s a column from a prisoner at Guantánamo Bay that explains how degrading and painful it is to be force fed while trying to hold a hunger strike to protest his [...]
Charming ‘Pro-Life’ Folks Remember Dr. Tiller By Threatening To Murder Everyone Working At Clinic
Remember how, back in 2009, the “pro life” movement was horrified when its constant harassment and threats toward abortion providers inspired an extremist to murder Dr. George Tiller, and how it rethought those strategies in the wake of the killing? Yeah, neither do we. Four years on, a new clinic is opening to provide abortion [...]
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