Barry Obama was raised in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, exactly where he is opening an office right now. But this one will be on soil even more terroristic than Hawaii — it will be in Guam, home to nothing. MORE »

Anibal Acevedo Vila, the “governor” of Puerto Rico (the island, not the New York City), has been indicted by U.S. authorities for “18 counts in a long-running campaign finance probe.” Apparently this is one of those things that the United States runs in Puerto Rico, the home of the third-to-last Democratic primary/caucus on June 3. Another 12 officials — all members of the “Popular Democratic Party” — have been charged along with the governor and are “accused of running a conspiracy to illegally raise money to pay off Acevedo’s campaign debts in 2000.” Christ, if that’s the case, we better put the whole FBI/CIA/DOJ/DOD/NBA on these sick motherfuckers, and then have a Surge. [AP/Google] MORE »