The research goblins over at TPM and the New York Times are busy at work devouring thousands of pages of newly released documents regarding the US attorney firing scandal. At an undetermined point in the future, these specially evolved goblins will excrete a powdery white substance and several pages of “analysis,” or at least a few juicy quotes from Karl Rove about how he is guilty of unspeakable crimes against David Iglesias, the US attorney in New Mexico who was fired “for poor performance” (meaning, because he did not aggressively pursue Republican allegations of voter fraud). MORE »

• Sonia-Maria Sotomayor loves to brag about how “ghetto” it was growing up in Mexico. Well this loaf of white bread has heard enough! Is Sonia’s Best Friend Forever serving life in prison? Was Sonia’s daughter stabbed in the chest with an enormous cardiac needle? No? Q.E.D. [American Thinker]
• “Ultra liberal zealot” highschool teachers are known to pass out buckets of gummy worms and read If You Give A Moose A Muffin during nap time, which is why every American teenager sucks at Maths. But a brave Oakland charter school has dared to ask, “Would they still suck at Maths if we yelled at them and shaved their heads?” The answer might shock you! [Hot Air]
• RedState shakes things up with a terrifying 2 second video of a blackfolk speaking without being spoken to! Don’t worry though because a patriot reported the incident to the Justice Department. [RedState]
• The National Archives misplaced a 2-terabyte external hard drive containing “sensitive data from the Clinton administration,” prompting the Smithsonian to temporarily postpone the highly-anticipated exhibit, “Tentacle Porn & The Clintons.” [Raw Story]