Tag: tennessee

The candy is my penis

Huzzah! Finally, A Nice Sleazeball Sex Scandal To Lighten Things Up, Whew!

Gosh, it seems like FOREVER since yr Wonkette has gotten to DC-gossip about some legislator getting his ween where it don't belong, so thanks, Tennessee! The Volunteer State served up a doozy of a point-and-laugh experience late last week, when...

Tennessee Congressional Wannabe Will ‘Make America White Again’ Like On Nick At Nite

On the bright side, Rick Tyler is never getting his way, and will have to be miserable for the rest of his life because of it.

Attorney General Loretta Lynch ‘Bout To Have To Smack A Bunch More States Upside Their Heads

Oh look, a whole posse of bigot states are joining together to say 'EW TRANS PEOPLE'!

Crazy Monster Drink Lady Hopes You Appreciate How Much Your Mom Loves Dick

Did you hug your mom on Mother's Day and thank her for loving penis so much? WHY NOT, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD?

Bigot Tennessee Therapists Can’t Wait To Screw The Gays For Jesus

Hey, here's a new and different kind of gay-hatin' law that just got signed in Tennessee! All over the country, we're getting used to laws barring transgenders from pee-pee time (for Jesus, and to protect YOUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS) and...

Radical Liberal Judges Affirm Bizarre Transgender Pooping Rituals

Whoa, it's a new day in America, and you know why? A thing happened that is GOOD for transgender people, specifically involving their God-given right to drop the kids off at the pool in public places. For real! A...

Loser Tennessee Can’t Even Manage To Pass Anti-Gay Law

What's shakin' Tennessee, home of Yr Wonkette? Are you looking around the South all excited about how Mississippi hates the gays and North Carolina hates the transgenders and OH BOY maybe you could get the Nashville music community to...

Tales Of Restaurant Employees Who Failed Spectacularly

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we’ve got more stories of restaurant employees whose crap was just in no way together. As always,...
fahrvergnügin' y'all

Union Gains Tiny Foothold In The South. Yes, The American South.

Stupid Unions. Why won't they die? Instead Scalia dies and public sector Unions live. Now everybody will be sick with the blue flu and taking bathroom breaks without repercussions. What a world for our Corporate People to live in. Workers...
And that's how America was made!

GOP Tennessee Gov Murders The Bible In Its Crib

God got some bad news Thursday. Last week the Almighty was so excited when some of His favorite children in the Tennessee legislature voted to make the Bible the state's official book. Finally, some recognition for his 6,000 years of...

Tennessee Legislators Love Bible, Hate Sex So Much

a href="http://wonkette.com/593435/oh-great-now-even-the-southerns-are-gender-fluid"It's been a busy week for the Tennessee Legislature, which voted Monday to name the Holy Bible the state's "official book," so it can join the official gun (.50 cal Barrett sniper rifle, manufactured in the state), official...

Tennessee State Reps Will Stiff You On Tips And Be Asshats About It

We're used to crappy tipping stories (obviously, considering we publish Off The Menu every week) and subsequent online tip-shaming fiascos. This, however, is the first time we can remember where politicians -- people who theoretically know their every public...

Stories of Restaurant Customers Who Were Basically Satan

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we've got the old standby: terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad restaurant customers. As always, these are real...

Tennessee Sheriff So Mad Beyoncé Shot Up His House

Hey white people, how's that Beyoncé freakout going for you? Still in a corner crying about the part of the "Formation" video where a tiny little black child murders every cop in the world, with dancing? A child who might...

Bundys, Beyoncé And Rick Snyder’s Wife’s Birthday Cake. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Well hi there and good Saturday morning to you, Wonkers! Many newses happened this week, so it's good that you're here for us to catch up together! Haha just kidding, we are not together, because WE WROTE THESE DAMN...