tennessee
Tenn Rep. Stephen Fincher Pocketed $9 Million in Ag Subsidies, Says Jesus Hates Food Stamps
So in our story yesterday on the Congressional debate over just how deeply Jesus wants food stamps to be cut, we missed a tiny detail that is probably worth mentioning. One of the special flowers seeking to slash the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, aka food stamps, was Tennessee Bible-humper Stephen Fincher, who argued against feeding [...]
Virginia Loses Its Damn Mind, Steals Control of Crazy Train
Don’t look now, kids, but Virginia has turned the corner and gone nuts. Seriously, it has gone It-Puts-The-Lotion-On-Its-Skin crazy. In just the past week, it has come to light that GOP nominees to state office and elected officials want to: force women who have miscarriages to report it to law enforcement officers; compared Planned Parenthood [...]
Tennessee State Sen. Wreaks Horrific Revenge On Traffic Cam That Nabbed Him Speeding
You may recall how, back in April, Tennessee state Sen. Jon Lundberg bestowed upon himself a resolution declaring Tennessee state Sen. Jon Lundberg the kindest bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being in the history of EVER. This week, Sen. Lundberg, recognizing that he’ll never match his confrere Stacy Campfield in the sheer asshattery needed to [...]
Utah Lady Arrested For Documenting Animal Abuse Because She Is An Animal Raper Obviously
ALEC, the American Legislative Exchange Council, has been busy passing Stand Your Ground laws and unionbusting laws and putting children in prison laws. You know, your basic “common good.” But it also has a fun new “ag gag” bill it has been peddling around to all the states — like, even California? that is how [...]
Tennessee Hog Farmer/Representative: Why Does The Humane Society Let Us Keep Raping These Pigs?
Just as people calling out racism are the real racists, people calling out homophobia are the ones who are “intolerant,” and abused wives are (OBVIOUSLY) the real abuser, Tennessee representative (and hog farmer!) Andy Holt helpfully explains that the Humane Society of the United States is the “disgusting, reprehensible” group responsible for animal cruelty! Because [...]
Tennessee Legislator Passes Resolution Honoring Himself For Being So Great At Being Himself
Let’s face it, Wonkswanans. It has been a fucking ROUGH week. If you’re like us, and we know you are, you’re just walking around in a sort of permanent sad whiskey haze. Things would probably be better for us if we were some part-time legislator in one o’them southern laboratories of democracy and we could [...]
What Do You Think About Stacey Campfield’s Imaginary Girlfriend? Is She Imaginary? (Yes)
Poor Stacey Campfield. The Tennessee “law” maker’s epic run for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year suffered a setback yesterday, when his “Starve the Dumb Kids” bill was murdered dead by his own colleagues. Blah blah blah “policy,” who cares? What we really want to know is how imaginary is Stacey Campfield’s imaginary girlfriend? Snuffleupagus-imaginary, in [...]
Tennessee Superdude Stacey Campfield Congratulates 8-Year-Old On Being A ‘Prop’
Stacey Campfield, the Tennessee “law” maker who has thus far blown away the competition in our search for Legislative Shitmuffin of 2013, continues to leave all other comers eating his dust. And how has he been a Being A Total Dick MACHINE today? Oh, just telling an eight-year-old girl handing him a petition (asking him [...]
Former Tennessee Pol Nabbed In High-Speed Fap-Fest
A former alderman and vice mayor from Mount Carmel, Tennessee, has been arrested on charges of indecent exposure after a female motorist said he “‘fondled himself’ and made obscene gestures while they drove beside each other on Interstate 26.” William Lee Blakely, 30, had previously been investigated on similar charges in 2010, but the case [...]
Our Irrational Gun Optimism Has Been Crushed By Another Horrible Accidental Shooting Because Why Not
Most times, the world lets us down but the tiny upside of that is that we get things to write about because we flourish when people are terrible which is mostly always. Sometimes, though, we let hope get the better of us and we write posts about how there is the most meager chance in [...]
Tennessee Legal Genius Stacey Campfield Doing His Best To Avoid Paying Heaps Of Money To Guy He Libeled
Blogging sure is hard sometimes. Between waking up at 5:30 a.m. to dredge Twitter for things to be outraged about and avoiding an EPIC SMACKDOWN for stating a fact about a whiny Breitbart charity hire with a martyrdom complex, mistakes are just an inevitable part of web scribbling. However if one rule concerning writing shit [...]
Tennessee To Stop Feeding Its Dumb Kids
This thing — to motivate the lazy Poors to become better parents, Stacey Campfield (R-HardKnoxville) has introduced a bill that would cut Temporary Assistance to Needy Families benefits by up to 30% if children fail to make “satisfactory academic progress” — by this guy, is busy advancing through the Tennessee Lege. Some Democrats are like [...]
Tennessee Narrowly Escapes Sharia Scourge of Clean Feet
Tennessee legislators were worried that the new porcelain fixture in a corner of a remodeled Capitol restroom might splash Sharia Law all over them, but building managers were quick to reassure them that it was merely a mop sink. As we all know, Muslim footbaths threaten America’s social fabric (actual headline), so you just can’t [...]
Tennessee’s Health Care Plan: Call Now For A Chance to Apply For A Chance To Win
Here at Wonkette, we like to provide you with news you can use. Lately, we’ve been trying to keep a handy list of states we don’t want to live in ever, and we advise you Wonkigonians to avoid as well. We’ve already provided you with key reasons to get the hell out of Texas, Oklahoma, [...]
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