Tag Archives: tennessee

  MAYBE an EEOC employer?

HELP WANTED: Tennessee County Clerk’s Office Seeks Non-Bigot Applicants For All Positions

Or the next best thing?
GAY MARRIAGE CREATES JOBS, thanks, Obama! Positions have recently opened up in the clerk’s office in Decatur County, Tennessee. Three former employees, including County Clerk Gwen Pope, recently vacated the premises upon discovering that the entire world had come crashing down upon them, rendering them unable to perform their daily tasks, which consist of paperwork, gossiping with the sheriff about them varmints what got caught over near Bible Hill up to no good, and issuing the occasional marriage license. However, nine unelected black-robed lawyers, none of them from around here, obviously, have decided to overturn the Sincerely Held Desire To Discriminate Religious Beliefs of true God-fearing Jesus-Americans, setting up a situation where Lloyd who is kind of “funny” can march up into the office and demand to marry one of his “friends.” Read more on HELP WANTED: Tennessee County Clerk’s Office Seeks Non-Bigot Applicants For All Positions…
  Here Is The Church Here Is The Steeple...Damn!

African American Churches Sure Burning Down A Lot, Probably War on Christians

Yes, we know none of the churches were in Mississippi. But YOU try finding a movie called 'Georgia,Tennessee, Florida and Both Carolinas Burning'
This is a bad thing: Six African American churches have been burned, since the June 17 murders of nine people at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, and arson is suspected in at least three of the fires. The FBI and Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives are investigating, and while there’s no evidence yet that the fires are connected (and accidental causes are suspected in two fires), four Southern black churches burning within a week of a racist murder seems statistically unlikely to be pure random chance. Read more on African American Churches Sure Burning Down A Lot, Probably War on Christians…
  In which we have "feelings" and bullshit like that

A Sappy Love Letter From Your Gay Wonkette, About America Getting Gay Marriaged In The Butt

That's yr gay Wonkette's niece. She's actually a wingnut, but her parents pose her for pictures like this.
Thursday night, I sat in my parents’ front yard just outside Memphis and looked at the house where I spent my teenage years. I wasn’t intending to have either Poignant Thoughts or A Moment, I just wanted to smoke a cigarette. (SHUT UP, I AM QUITTING.) I looked at the windows of my old bedroom and suddenly remembered, “Oh, tomorrow might be the day.” And then, surprisingly but not out of nowhere, I remembered the early ’90s, when I started to realize I was “different.” Well, I already knew THAT. I was a weird kid: I’d been playing piano since the age of four and reading since two; I was not all that athletic (I’m being generous); and I was just generally WEIRD. Suddenly, as I hit puberty, I realized that all those sexxxy thoughts I was having were about the boys in my class, not the girls. Read more on A Sappy Love Letter From Your Gay Wonkette, About America Getting Gay Marriaged In The Butt…
  Boo hoo

Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful

It's the end of the world! Except not
It turns out that not every single U.S. American is sexcitedly happy dancing because the Supreme Court confirmed that, per the Constitution, the Constitution is for everybody. Like, some of the justices on the Supreme Court (but not enough of them to matter, HAHAHAHA). Join us, as we read their word-weeping for their beloved institution of inequality, which is dead as fried chicken now, huzzah! Read more on Supreme Court Losers Lose Their Sh*t Over Gay Marriage, And It’s Delightful…
  Sunday In The Park With George Wallace

If Tennessee Renames Park Honoring KKK Founder, ISIS Wins

If you put a different name on this, it's the same as blowing it up!
Now that Tennessee has murdered the Confederate flag on license plates, and is giving serious thought to removing a bust of Confederate general and founding KKK member Nathan Bedford Forrest from the Capitol building, some Democrats in the state legislature think maybe it would be a good idea to change the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest State Park. The park was established in 1963, when for some reason there was a regular mania for naming things after Confederate heroes, but now some people think there’s no good reason to sully a lovely recreational area with camping and hiking trails by keeping it named after a guy generally thought to be the Klan’s first Grand Wizard. Read more on If Tennessee Renames Park Honoring KKK Founder, ISIS Wins…
  Ghostwriters In The Sty

Mike Huckabee Sure Does Pal Around With A Lot Of Alleged Child Molesters

Funny how that guy keeps showing up
This is rather inconvenient for a presidential candidate, you’ve got to suppose: John Perry, the ghostwriter co-author of two of Mike Huckabee’s books, who seems to have ghostwritten co-authored books with about nine million other rightwing Christians as well, was accused of molesting a child in two different lawsuits, according to a piece published Wednesday evening by BuzzFeed’s Andrew Kaczynski and Ilan Ben-Meir. Read more on Mike Huckabee Sure Does Pal Around With A Lot Of Alleged Child Molesters…
  Hell Is For Children

Sundays With The Christianists: Here’s A Delightful Children’s Book About Hell

Just imagine 30 pages of this!
Hey, there, all you sinners, apostates, reprobates, fornicators, sodomites, adulterers, whoremongers, and occasional jaywalkers! Time for another visit to Fundamentalist Land, with an enchanting little book for kids called The Cage: A Young Children’s Guide to the Biblical Teaching on Hell, by one C. Matthew McMahon, Ph.D., Th.D. It’s published by an outfit called “Puritan Publications” out of Tennessee, and is aimed at helping your lovely little child understand that they are headed straight to the Eternal Fires of Hell, and will burn forever unless they are saved by the blood of Christ. We were initially intrigued to see a kid’s book titled The Cage, but extremely disappointed when it turned out to have nothing to do with the pilot episode of Star Trek. It might be the worst kids’ book we’ve ever seen, though it’s got some stiff competition. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: Here’s A Delightful Children’s Book About Hell…
  What year is it again?

NBC Affiliate Decides Republican Navy Doctor Too Gay For Delicate Tennessee Viewers

So controversial.
Did you know marriage equality is a mainstream thing these days? Polling released Monday shows that fully 56 percent of Americans are more than ready for the Supreme Court to do gay marriage to the entire country, and those numbers grow every single year. So you’d think a commercial featuring a gay Republican military doctor who really wants to marry his boyfriend wouldn’t be considered “controversial.” OH BUT IT IS! At least for WRCB, an NBC affiliate in Chattanooga, Tennessee: Read more on NBC Affiliate Decides Republican Navy Doctor Too Gay For Delicate Tennessee Viewers…
  with militias intent

Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity

Those aren't crazy eyes at all, no sir
Let’s meet Robert Doggart, who ran last year as an independent for Tennessee’s 4th Congressional District (and lost rather badly, getting just 6.4 percent of the vote). But he’s not the sort of guy to just dabble in politics as a fringe candidate; he decided to face America’s problems head on, plotting to lead a militia attack on a Muslim community in New York, a bit of patriotic direct action that could get him five years in prison, which seems maybe a little light for planning an act of terrorism, but it’s not like he’s a jihadi or anything. Besides, we all know there are no rightwing terrorists. Read more on Failed Congressional Candidate Planned To Kill Some Muslims As Love Offering To Sean Hannity…
  let's challenge her to a rap battle

Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten.

Don't hate the playa, hate the game.
WELL HELLO THERE, Wonketariat! It is Sunday, which means it’s time for us to go to brunch and also gossip with you about the week’s top stories, but before we get to that, we feel compelled to quickly discuss the picture above, which Ann Romney, wife of Mitt, shared on the Twitter after her husband’s charity boxing match with Evander Holyfield. Is Ann Romney in a gang now? PROBABLY, because she is so street. She told the Twitter that she was very excited to be part of “Mitt’s posse.” Anybody who coughs up a video of Romney (husband OR wife) twerking wins an “Obamaphone.” Read more on Ann Romney May Be In A Gang, Hide Your Kids! Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Here's a helpful list

Idiot Tennessee Rep Knows All The Christians Are Being Holocausted, Just Can’t Say Where

For some reason, the voters of Tennessee’s 7th District keep sending Republican Marsha Blackburn back to the House of Representatives, dunno why, because Tennessee, we guess? Blackburn’s your standard-issue lady Republican: she knows that women don’t really care about equal pay; the cause of climate change, if it even exists, is debatable because a handful of shills for the fossil fuels industry say so; affordable health care that doesn’t suck is bad; abortion is bad; and hey, what if the Boston bombers had Obamaphones, HUH? She’s also proud to call herself “CongressMAN,” rather than “Congresswoman,” hooray for feminism. Read more on Idiot Tennessee Rep Knows All The Christians Are Being Holocausted, Just Can’t Say Where…
  Healthcare for me but not for thee

Oh Look At All These Tennessee Republicans Who Love Taxpayer-Funded Healthcare, But Just For Themselves, No One Else

... for Republicans
Tennessee Republicans are damned sure the citizens of their fine state love freedom a lot more than they love taxpayer-funded health insurance. Which is why they are ready to die on the Obamacare hill and wage all-out war against Republican Gov. Bill Haslam’s attempt to expand “not Obamacare” Medicaid to insure an additional 280,000 Tennesseans, to keep socialized insurance out of Tennessee. For the regular people, that is. For the state’s legislators, taxpayer-funded healthcare is (shhhhh, don’t tell anyone) just fine, thanks. Read more on Oh Look At All These Tennessee Republicans Who Love Taxpayer-Funded Healthcare, But Just For Themselves, No One Else…
  They prefer to be called "Bonkers" and "Yip-Yap"

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Let’s Eat Bon-Bons And Braid Hair With The Tennessee Gay Marriage Plaintiffs!

Thom & Ijpe, with creative
On Tuesday, plaintiffs in Obergefell v. Hodges journeyed to the Supreme Court from many faraway exotic lands — Tennessee, Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan to be specific — so that their case, to bring marriage equality to themselves and, by extension, to America, may be heard. If you have not heard about this news, you may read this Wonkette Legal Analysis of what went down in that courtroom! Read more on WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: Let’s Eat Bon-Bons And Braid Hair With The Tennessee Gay Marriage Plaintiffs!…
  bad analogies

Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!

Say what now?
We have seen many laughable rationalizations for upholding bans on marriage equality over the years, and especially in the last few months before the Supreme Court rules, once and for all, that those bans are not constitutional. (Yes, that’s probably definitely we are pretty darn sure going to happen real soon.) Bigots say equality will mean the end of the world or at least make politicians get drunk and crash their boats into children. And it will cause a million more abortions and force dudes to have to explain periods to their daughters, can you EVEN IMAGINE. Read more on Dumb Guy Has Best SCOTUS Argument Against Gay Marriage: Buttsex And Abortion Are Not Crimes!…
 

Supreme Court Rams Gay-Marriage Nonsense Down Your Earholes. A Wonkette Transcriber!

It's the end of the world! Except not
Tuesday was the last chance for bigots to explain to the Supreme Court why it is constitutional to deny equal rights to gay people because you think they have icky sex. The Court had two questions to consider: First, is it okay for states to prohibit gays from doing marriage together because “tradition” and “ewww gross” and “states’ rights” and “some people don’t like it” and “WON’T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!”? Second, is it okay for states that prohibit marriage equality to tell already gay-married gay couples from other states that their marriages do not count, because this here is Kentucky (for example) damnit, and we do not like you liberal state gay types, for America? And freedom? Read more on Supreme Court Rams Gay-Marriage Nonsense Down Your Earholes. A Wonkette Transcriber!…
  Here have some news n stuff

Family Values Guy Says Gays Can’t Get Married Because His Daughter’s Period Grossed Him Out

But whose role is it to explain that daddy's a schmuck?
There are many reasons why gay marriage is “bad,” and they are each and every one of them wrong. But this, from David Fowler, the head of Family Action Council of Tennessee (FACT) and a former state senator, is HI-lariously terrible: Read more on Family Values Guy Says Gays Can’t Get Married Because His Daughter’s Period Grossed Him Out…
  They're probably just saying they were raped to make a political statement

Tennessee Lady Rep Not Buying Your ‘Rape And Incest’ Story, Harlot

Sheila Butt, Republican state representative of Tennessee, is very misunderstood. In February, she was very upset because she just didn’t understand why people would think that her call for a National Association For The Advancement of White People could be misconstrued as RACIST. Now she will likely be very misunderstood again, simply for saying that we shouldn’t have rape and incest exceptions in abortion laws, because bitches be lying. Read more on Tennessee Lady Rep Not Buying Your ‘Rape And Incest’ Story, Harlot…
  Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there

Tennessee Swingers Club Cites Religious Freedom To Bone

See? Sexy churches have been around at least since the 1980's.
In Madison, Tennessee, there is a group of married people who like to get together with other married people for sexxx-type purposes, and all they want is to open a nice swingers club, for their swinging. But apparently there is a quote-unquote “school” next door, and according to the law, that property is a No Bone Zone. So they figured fine, we will completely change our plans and open something different there, like how about a church? SURE! A church, that is what they will open, this will totally work: Read more on Tennessee Swingers Club Cites Religious Freedom To Bone…
  You Need Jesus In School. Where Else In Tennessee Would Kids Hear About Him?

‘Bible Man’ Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding

Oh Christ, now I'm going to have to *watch* these...
Cry for the poor oppressed Christians of Grundy County, Tennessee, will you please, O Wonkers? Lo, they are sore afraid, and most put upon, for an HERETIC is amongst them, using arcane magicks (the Constitution of the United States) and consorting with Devilish Forces (the Freedom From Religion Foundation) to withhold from the public schools the Word Of God! Which is to say, some old evangelist fart calling himself “the Bible Man” won’t be allowed to hold taxpayer-funded revival meetings at the elementary schools anymore, because of some stupid thing about it being unconstitutional. Happily, it all worked out for the best because the good Christian townspeople have figured out the identity of the troublemaking atheist mom who complained to the FFRF, and they’ve been threatening her with violent retribution, seeing as how God Himself hasn’t gotten around to smiting the godless bitch yet. But they know that’s what He’d want. Read more on ‘Bible Man’ Banned From Tenn. Grade Schools. Townfolk Turn Other Cheek, Just Kidding…
  First Amendment? What First Amendment?

Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)

Hey, that dude looks like Breitbart!
Happy Nice Time Update: See end of post! The Tennessee House voted Wednesday to name the Bible the official state book. But don’t worry, it’s not a violation of the First Amendment, because the people who wrote the bill said, nahh, it’s exactly like a state song or a state bird, and nobody complains that those violate the Constitution, do they? And then they turned right around and said that they had to make the Bible the state book to show that Tennessee loves Jesus a whole bunch. Read more on Congratulations, God, The Tennessee House Just Loves Your Book! (Exciting Update!)…