Tag: television

I know what you're thinking. Did he win six electoral votes or only five?

Donald Trump’s Plan To End Crime: Unleash Dirty Harry, McBain, More-Racist Mel Gibson

Donald Trump has a plan to stop crime, and it all depends on One Tough Cop. Wish Trump had gotten his name.
Ask your parents

Reader Challenge: What Rhymes With ‘Bag Of Salted Rat Dicks’?

A German TV comic faces prison in Germany after insulting Turkish President Tayyip Erdoğan on the air with a satirical poem that speculated about Erdoğan's love of sex with ungulates, among other things. Jan Böhmermann hosts "Neo Magazin" (kind of a "Daily Show" type deal,...
There's still hope for you, Anna.

Anna Duggar Pretty Sure Jesus Will Keep It In Josh’s Pants From Now On

The Duggars are back on television, hooray and hurrah and Christmas is ruined now. Sunday night brought the second installment of "Duggars After Dark: Bonin' On," which in science fact is called "Jill And Jessa: Counting On." And Mrs....
We don't remember seeing this one at all. We must seek it out!

It’s Alive! Mystery Science Theater 3000 Is ALIVE! Your Weekend Nerdout

Happy Sunday Nerding to you all, Wonkers! Hope you are enjoying your weekly powered-down mode interval; as for us, we are toiling away in the snark mines, bringing you nothing but the finest possible nerdstuff, not to mention the...
GET IT GURL

Good Christian Housewives Declare War On Miss Piggy The Whore

It's been a while since yr Wonkette has checked in with the "One Million Moms" group (77,000 Facebook fans and counting!), and its fearless leader, the halfwit Never-Nude Monica Cole. Hi, Monica! If you don't remember, "One Million Moms" is...
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Mad Teenage Boys Don’t Put Out Like They Used To

Yesterday, Grandma Kaili told you Wonkers about a new CDC study that says Kids These Days are real fuckin' boring, in that they don't go under the bleachers at school and play sex games on each other, and they...

Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp

American reality television is having a rough summer reputation-wise, what with the failed Bachelor pairings and the creepy wifely subservience and the repellent allegations of sexual abuse of children. Maybe our camera crews should try for a wholesome reboot and set up shop...
Just a couple of pioneers

Leonard Nimoy, 1931-2015: We Have Been, And Always Shall Be, Your Fan

Leonard Nimoy died today at the age of 83. I was one of those kids who were just a little too young to watch Star Trek during its prime-time run, but the afternoon reruns in the '70s were my...

Marry, F*ck, Kill Your Television

Hey y'all! You been continuing to visit our sweet little sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, after we murdered it with a hammer in its cute little kitten head, we mean "sold it so some sap"? No. No you have not. Let's...

Sarah Palin Is Your New Barbara Walters, Why Not, Sure

So here's the feel-good story of the day: Sarah Palin thinks that maybe it would be a heck of a lot of fun to host The View, not that she's going to do that any more than she's going...

Supreme Emperor Barack Obama Demands Advance Copies Of ‘Game Of Thrones,’ ‘True Detective’

Oh, those high-living Obamas are up to their early-viewing tyranny again. In 2012 Michelle stoled all the Downton Abbeys, and now Barack Obama has muscled the CEO of HBO into giving him advance copies of the new season of...

At Long Last, You Get To See Paula Deen On Your Television Again

Remember how your very own Wonkette broke the Paula Deen lawsuit story about how she was super discriminate-y and awful, and everyone was like meh until she admitted she liked antebellum South things because duh? We were on top...

Cancel All Your Friday Nights: MSNBC To Present ‘Scream At Stews With Alec Baldwin’

Ahem: Mediaite has learned from a senior source in the cable news industry with knowledge of MSNBC’s programming that actor Alec Baldwin is getting his own weekly show in MSNBC’s primetime lineup. According to our source, the so far untitled show...

Thad McCotter Interrupts Tragicomic Midlife Crisis To Conquer Hollywood With Terrible Teevee Pilot

Thad McCotter’s downward spiral from Congressman/vanity presidential candidate to publicly humiliated wretch of a man continues. Unable to purchase even 50 votes at the Iowa Straw Poll or collect enough (valid) petition signatures to run for re-election, McCotter has...

Michelle Obama Jumps Rope To Amusement of Obese Kelly Ripa Fans

Why hello, FLOTUS fans. Have you been wondering what your First Lady Michelle Antoinette Obama has been up to the past few weeks? Anything particularly scandalous aside from hanging out on Pinterest looking at pictures of smoothies and going...

To Which Television Job Is This Latest Vapid Political Daughter Entitled?

Abby Huntsman is the 26-year-old daughter of Utah owner and 94th-place finisher in the 2012 Republican primaries, Jon Huntsman. She made a couple of wacky YouTubes with her two sisters ("hehe, look at how funny we are, we're so...