Tag: television

CNN Showed Up To Cover Muslims’ Anti-ISIS Protest, So Obvs CNN Faked The Whole Thing

You only think you're reading this. There. Blew your mind.

Tucker Carlson Sorry For Making Mean ‘Teen Vogue’ Lady More Famous Than Tucker Carlson

Tucker Carlson may not be the stepping-stone to fame he thinks he is, maybe.

Roger Ailes In Hell Now, Complaining The Broads There Have Ugly Legs

Condolences to his family, etc., but the man really was scum.

All-Grown-Up Cindy Brady Has Hair Of Gold, Mouth Full Of Gay Slurs

They should have just left her at the Grand Canyon.
I know what you're thinking. Did he win six electoral votes or only five?

Donald Trump’s Plan To End Crime: Unleash Dirty Harry, McBain, More-Racist Mel Gibson

Donald Trump has a plan to stop crime, and it all depends on One Tough Cop. Wish Trump had gotten his name.
Ask your parents

Reader Challenge: What Rhymes With ‘Bag Of Salted Rat Dicks’?

A German TV comic faces prison in Germany after insulting Turkish President Tayyip Erdoğan on the air with a satirical poem that speculated about Erdoğan's love of sex with ungulates, among other things. Jan Böhmermann hosts "Neo Magazin" (kind of a "Daily Show" type deal,...
There's still hope for you, Anna.

Anna Duggar Pretty Sure Jesus Will Keep It In Josh’s Pants From Now On

The Duggars are back on television, hooray and hurrah and Christmas is ruined now. Sunday night brought the second installment of "Duggars After Dark: Bonin' On," which in science fact is called "Jill And Jessa: Counting On." And Mrs....
We don't remember seeing this one at all. We must seek it out!

It’s Alive! Mystery Science Theater 3000 Is ALIVE! Your Weekend Nerdout

Happy Sunday Nerding to you all, Wonkers! Hope you are enjoying your weekly powered-down mode interval; as for us, we are toiling away in the snark mines, bringing you nothing but the finest possible nerdstuff, not to mention the...
GET IT GURL

Good Christian Housewives Declare War On Miss Piggy The Whore

It's been a while since yr Wonkette has checked in with the "One Million Moms" group (77,000 Facebook fans and counting!), and its fearless leader, the halfwit Never-Nude Monica Cole. Hi, Monica! If you don't remember, "One Million Moms" is...
HERE IS SOME SEX ADVICE, YOU GUYS.

Rush Limbaugh Mad Teenage Boys Don’t Put Out Like They Used To

Yesterday, Grandma Kaili told you Wonkers about a new CDC study that says Kids These Days are real fuckin' boring, in that they don't go under the bleachers at school and play sex games on each other, and they...

Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp

American reality television is having a rough summer reputation-wise, what with the failed Bachelor pairings and the creepy wifely subservience and the repellent allegations of sexual abuse of children. Maybe our camera crews should try for a wholesome reboot and set up shop...
Just a couple of pioneers

Leonard Nimoy, 1931-2015: We Have Been, And Always Shall Be, Your Fan

Leonard Nimoy died today at the age of 83. I was one of those kids who were just a little too young to watch Star Trek during its prime-time run, but the afternoon reruns in the '70s were my...

Marry, F*ck, Kill Your Television

Hey y'all! You been continuing to visit our sweet little sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, after we murdered it with a hammer in its cute little kitten head, we mean "sold it so some sap"? No. No you have not. Let's...

Sarah Palin Is Your New Barbara Walters, Why Not, Sure

So here's the feel-good story of the day: Sarah Palin thinks that maybe it would be a heck of a lot of fun to host The View, not that she's going to do that any more than she's going...

Supreme Emperor Barack Obama Demands Advance Copies Of ‘Game Of Thrones,’ ‘True Detective’

Oh, those high-living Obamas are up to their early-viewing tyranny again. In 2012 Michelle stoled all the Downton Abbeys, and now Barack Obama has muscled the CEO of HBO into giving him advance copies of the new season of...

At Long Last, You Get To See Paula Deen On Your Television Again

Remember how your very own Wonkette broke the Paula Deen lawsuit story about how she was super discriminate-y and awful, and everyone was like meh until she admitted she liked antebellum South things because duh? We were on top...