Drama in the White House, y’all! Notice how President Obama was completely unable to speak or form a coherent sentence after somebody killed his precious Teleprompter. Who will run the country, now that this piece of glass is gone? [BBC]

The star of President Obama’s big announcement yesterday was, as usual, his teleprompters, which obscured the view of his (fairly short?) Supreme Court nominee. Then they shot mind-rays into her brain and finally consumed her. What will this Sotomayor character do when she’s on the Court and cannot use the teleprompters to help her write her opinions, HMMM???? [Alex Conant, MSNBC]

Here’s Barack Obama and his “commie posse” in Europe, testing incredible new Marxist technology which will allow the reading of prepared remarks from the inside of these health-care umbrellas. [White House]

Hey does anyone know what the hell is going on with the media? Did all professional journalistic reporters catch idiot cancer overnight? Here we have the Washington Post’s Lois Romano, a fine reporter usually (we guess?), landing an interview with Robert Gibbs. A GOOD JOURNALISTIC OPPORTUNITY. And the two questions she asks immediately… well you know what those are going to be, don’t you? MORE »

As some of you pointed out, the comments thread on that Fishbowl DC post we just linked to has some the best punditry we’ve seen the election. At least 75% of them make some scathing reference to the fact that Barack Obama uses teleprompters to deliver prepared speeches, like all Presidents and leaders and speakers have done since the invention of teleprompters and before that, when they read speeches from paper. There is literally no way that someone using a teleprompter to deliver a speech can be construed as controversial. Ha. But did you also know that pretty boy over there in the White House also wears “shoes” on his feet, like a retarded pussy? CAN’T HANDLE THE TERRAIN ON YOUR BARE FEET, HUSSEIN? [FishbowlDC]

Wise up, America! This “President Obama” of yours may look rather lifelike, but in fact he is just an animatronic mummy stolen from the “Pirates of the Caribbean” exhibit at Disney Land. When he gives even the briefest of remarks the words do not come spontaneously into his head, from God, but instead are fed directly into his brain from a teleprompter. This makes everything he says a lie. MORE »