Wonkette

Politico reports this morning that Mike Huckabee accepted $52,000 in speaking fees from research centers that perform all kinds of anti-Jesusery, like embryonic stem cell research and birth control. Now that’s an outrage! I thought he was only supposed to speak to those with whom he agreed. It’s almost like, if he became president, he’d allow citizens who use birth control to be part of the country! [Politico]

Despite his blossoming presidential bid, it looks like the Huckster’s still earning money by working the speaking circuit, Politico reported yesterday. This morning, CNN pretended it was their story and reported it all over again, but they didn’t get to talk to the charming Mr. Huck on this second go-round. MORE »

• Christmas was ruined for so many this year by taser-wielding, Jesus-hating maniacs. Or, at least it happened in this one case. [WorldNet Daily]
• We’re pretty sure Tom Tancredo’s endorsement wasn’t a “stinging setback” for anybody but sometimes it’s nice to pretend. [Hot Air]
• Crazy Michelle Bauchmann wants you to know that Iraq is almost healed! They passed a pension bill, and that’s more than we’ve got. [Right Wing News]
• Malkin stays awake all night, just waiting for someone to write something about Al Sharpton. Then, finally, at 5 in the morning, she caught a big one! Congrats, Michelle! [Michelle Malkin]
• Huck hates the Pope and we’re not sure how well that’s going to play in Iowa. [Fresh Intelligence]
• Obama is the only person running for something who objects to Bush’s FEC nominee and therefore conspiracy! [Redstate]

• There’s nothing more compelling than an idea whose time has come. [New York Times]
• Someone may have mentioned to the President that there was an issue with the security contractors. Maybe more than once. [Washington Post]
• Hey, listen, better luck next time Rudy. [New York Times]
• Campaigns have people trolling the comments pages of political sites? We havent fucking noticed. [Wall Street Journal]
• Hey, Huck, we knew you didn’t like taxes but we didn’t know that you’re retarded. [Los Angeles Times]
• Hillary Clinton would like to draw your attention to her vagina. [Washington Post]
• Oh, so it turns out God is dead. [Washington Times]
• But when it comes to telling the Senate just how they’re spending they’re money, Churches answer to a higher power. [New York Times]

• Guess what happens when your insurance company won’t pay for a liver transplant? You die! [Raw Story]
• It’s tough to make money for your legal defense on the college lecture circuit when you’re hated on every single college campus in the world. [Think Progress]
• Judas! [Michelle Malkin]
• Sounds like someone doesn’t really take criticism very well. [Hot Air]
• This holiday season give your favorite candidates the gift that will surely be on their minds anyway. [Political Wire]
• If by “withdrawal” from Iraq you mean keeping everything the way it is right now, then, yes, that’s what we’re doing. [Swamp Politics]
• Global Warming rejected by hundreds. [WorldNet Daily]

Mike Huckabee continued to spread his subliminal floating Christmas cheer in Iowa today by telling supporters that Guantanamo Bay is one helluva good time. Specifically, it’s “too nice”! And he would know because he’s been there and is now a goddamn expert. Thanks for the news, motherfuckabee! We wouldn’t know, because all of the tapes have been destroyed. MORE »

Mike Huckabee appeared on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning and, among other things, discussed that Christmas ad with the floating not-so-subliminal white cross in the background. (Quick aside: The whole message of the video is about Jesus being the only thing that matters. Why is an intersection of two white lines in the background somehow more controversial than the scary ass sounds that come out of his mouth? Some fucking people….) ANYWAY, Huckabee explains that it was just a bookshelf, and Joe Scarborough laughs his ass off; then at the end his little blond co-host gets bitingly sarcastic. Where’s Tucker Carlson when you need him?

Mike Huckabee’s new ad encapsulates the man better in 30 seconds than the NYT Magazine’s piece could in 11 Internet pages. Basic thought process watching this ad: “He hates politics too, even though he’s a politics-ian! Well that’s really cool, I’m starting to like this guy. He talks all smooth and comforty-like, and I heard a rumor that he once lost all this weig– Whoa, what’s this?! He’s saying that the only important thing in the world right now is the importance of Christ? Like that’s his political message? I don’t know if I care for Mike Huckabee really at all now.” Sound familiar? [YouTube] MORE »

Obviously the best part of today’s much poo-pooed New York Times Magazine profile of Mike Huckabee was this little before and after picture. Specifically, the before part. But if these adorable fat pictures are the only reasons to like teh Huckbeez, his suggestion for secretary of Defense is the latest in a million reasons to fear him. MORE »

In both parties there are many “frontrunners,” which in the second-by-second world of horserace campaign blogging means “soon-to-be-deads.” Seriously, we champion any frontrunner who can hold the title for more than a couple weeks without then being arbitrarily killed for an offhand comment. After the jump, we ask you: Which frontrunner is the most lastrunning? MORE »