Tag Archives: teh huckbeez

 

John McCain Is A Mexican

The only thing Hillary has going for her is tears, huh? [Wizbang Politics] Huck likes to call people up and share his opinions with them! [TPM] Here’s a whole bunch of silly things about Barack Obama that aren’t true, but did you know that he’s Kenyan? [Carpetbagger Report] Read more on John McCain Is A Mexican…
 

America, Huck Yeah!

Muzlums are taking over the Pentagon. [Hot Air] There is nothing more appropriate for a soldier’s death in combat than a track from the Team America soundtrack. [IMAO] Hey, turns out nobody’s dying in Iraq! [Redstate] Read more on America, Huck Yeah!…
 

Huckabee is a Scab

Tell the feds to keep their laws of our emissions. [Los Angeles Times] Oh, hey, Rudy is still running. [Politico] But what does Iowa mean for Al Gore? [Headline Junky] Huckabee, I don’t mind telling you, is a Jew. [IMAO] Read more on Huckabee is a Scab…
 

Swift Vets and the Candidates That Love Them

Every day when I sit down to do this blogging thing, I thank the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Those lying shitsacks may have stuck us with an additional four years of George Bush, but without them I probably wouldn’t have a job. They’re back! Hooray! They smashed the credibility of the 11-year-old spokesboy for sick children earlier this year but that was just a pre-election year warm up. They have all kinds of more fun up their bile-spewing sleeves, including the ability to give all kinds money to a candidate they’ve bought: the engineer of the Straight Talk Express, John “WALNUTS!” McCain! Read more on Swift Vets and the Candidates That Love Them…
 

Sudden Jihad! Oh My God!

“Days of Rage” sounds like it would have been a sweet Patrick Swayze movie. [New York Times] Democrats promise change and Republicans promise an end to Mexicans. [Washington Post, Washington Post] Read more on Sudden Jihad! Oh My God!…
 

Huckabee’s Abortion of an Attack Wastes $150k

So. That horrific press conference where Mike Huckabee denounced negativity by being negative, which makes for a double negative, which means no presidencies4you? Didn’t get a lot of play in local Iowa newspapers yesterday. And since the Internet hasn’t made it to Iowa yet, the print newspaper remains king of the land! So it may or may not be a major HOWARD DEAN MOMENT, but either way, Huck’s last minute reversal may have cost the campaign around $150,000. And yes, that’s Joe Scarborough partying with Huck in the photo. I ask for the 40th time: Who the fuck is this crazy man from Arkansas? [Politico] Read more on Huckabee’s Abortion of an Attack Wastes $150k…
 

Saddam the Beloved

Though he is “of a tender age,” Benazir Bhutto’s teenage son is now the head of her party. Democracy lives! Yay! [BBC, New York Times, Washington Post] On the anniversary of the day his head popped off, Iraqis remember their bro Saddam Hussein. [Los Angeles Times] Read more on Saddam the Beloved…
 

Creepy Grainy Video

Ads in Iowa, this shit is almost over except there’s another week. [Horse Race] A million little Zapruder films! [Hot Air] Looks like Mittens is soft on criminals after all. [Michelle Malkin] Read more on Creepy Grainy Video…
 

Mike Huckabee Was Really Shooting for Reporters

When Mike Huckabee went hunting in Iowa Wednesday to prove that he had a penis or something, he bagged him a pheasant or two, but he was really hoping to kill reporters. At least that’s the account of one reporter there, who notes that, “At one point, Huckabee’s party turned toward a cluster of reporters and cameramen and, when they kicked up a pheasant, fired shotgun blasts over the group’s heads.” Huck, you crazy wombat! The press has been so nice to you recently, by like, not bringing up your hatred of gay people and all that other crazy Jesusery at all. Read more on Mike Huckabee Was Really Shooting for Reporters…
 

Internment’s Not Just a Shitty Hill Gig, Huckaboo

If there’s one absolutely, totally clear thing that has emerged from the assassination of Benazir Bhutto yesterday it is that Pakistanis coming into the US need closer monitoring. So, we’re thrilled to hear that Mike Huckabee has finally said what someone besides Tancredo needed to say. Some might wonder what monitoring immigrants just because they’re Pakistani has to do with anything and, even though we don’t really have answer to that question, we know that such people are not serious about securing America. Read more on Internment’s Not Just a Shitty Hill Gig, Huckaboo…
 

Huckabee Takes Money From Satan Blah Blah

Politico reports this morning that Mike Huckabee accepted $52,000 in speaking fees from research centers that perform all kinds of anti-Jesusery, like embryonic stem cell research and birth control. Now that’s an outrage! I thought he was only supposed to speak to those with whom he agreed. It’s almost like, if he became president, he’d allow citizens who use birth control to be part of the country! [Politico] Read more on Huckabee Takes Money From Satan Blah Blah…
 

Teh Huckbeez Need Money

Despite his blossoming presidential bid, it looks like the Huckster’s still earning money by working the speaking circuit, Politico reported yesterday. This morning, CNN pretended it was their story and reported it all over again, but they didn’t get to talk to the charming Mr. Huck on this second go-round. Read more on Teh Huckbeez Need Money…
 

Idiots and the Idiots Who Admire Them

Christmas was ruined for so many this year by taser-wielding, Jesus-hating maniacs. Or, at least it happened in this one case. [WorldNet Daily] We’re pretty sure Tom Tancredo’s endorsement wasn’t a “stinging setback” for anybody but sometimes it’s nice to pretend. [Hot Air] Read more on Idiots and the Idiots Who Admire Them…
 

Vagina Monologues

There’s nothing more compelling than an idea whose time has come. [New York Times] Someone may have mentioned to the President that there was an issue with the security contractors. Maybe more than once. [Washington Post] Read more on Vagina Monologues…
 

Pull Out, Or Don’t, Whatever

Guess what happens when your insurance company won’t pay for a liver transplant? You die! [Raw Story] It’s tough to make money for your legal defense on the college lecture circuit when you’re hated on every single college campus in the world. [Think Progress] Read more on Pull Out, Or Don’t, Whatever…
 

If Gitmo’s “Too Nice,” Then Why Don’t You Go Live There?

Mike Huckabee continued to spread his subliminal floating Christmas cheer in Iowa today by telling supporters that Guantanamo Bay is one helluva good time. Specifically, it’s “too nice”! And he would know because he’s been there and is now a goddamn expert. Thanks for the news, motherfuckabee! We wouldn’t know, because all of the tapes have been destroyed. Read more on If Gitmo’s “Too Nice,” Then Why Don’t You Go Live There?…