Tag Archives: teh huckbeez

 

John McCain Is A Mexican

The only thing Hillary has going for her is tears, huh? [Wizbang Politics] Huck likes to call people up and share his opinions with them! [TPM] Here’s a whole bunch of silly things about Barack Obama that aren’t true, but did you know that he’s Kenyan? [Carpetbagger Report] Read more on John McCain Is A Mexican…
 

America, Huck Yeah!

Muzlums are taking over the Pentagon. [Hot Air] There is nothing more appropriate for a soldier’s death in combat than a track from the Team America soundtrack. [IMAO] Hey, turns out nobody’s dying in Iraq! [Redstate] Read more on America, Huck Yeah!…
 

Huckabee is a Scab

Tell the feds to keep their laws of our emissions. [Los Angeles Times] Oh, hey, Rudy is still running. [Politico] But what does Iowa mean for Al Gore? [Headline Junky] Huckabee, I don’t mind telling you, is a Jew. [IMAO] Read more on Huckabee is a Scab…
 

Swift Vets and the Candidates That Love Them

Every day when I sit down to do this blogging thing, I thank the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Those lying shitsacks may have stuck us with an additional four years of George Bush, but without them I probably wouldn’t have a job. They’re back! Hooray! They smashed the credibility of the 11-year-old spokesboy for sick children earlier this year but that was just a pre-election year warm up. They have all kinds of more fun up their bile-spewing sleeves, including the ability to give all kinds money to a candidate they’ve bought: the engineer of the Straight Talk Express, John “WALNUTS!” McCain! Read more on Swift Vets and the Candidates That Love Them…
 

Sudden Jihad! Oh My God!

“Days of Rage” sounds like it would have been a sweet Patrick Swayze movie. [New York Times] Democrats promise change and Republicans promise an end to Mexicans. [Washington Post, Washington Post] Read more on Sudden Jihad! Oh My God!…
 

Huckabee’s Abortion of an Attack Wastes $150k

So. That horrific press conference where Mike Huckabee denounced negativity by being negative, which makes for a double negative, which means no presidencies4you? Didn’t get a lot of play in local Iowa newspapers yesterday. And since the Internet hasn’t made it to Iowa yet, the print newspaper remains king of the land! So it may or may not be a major HOWARD DEAN MOMENT, but either way, Huck’s last minute reversal may have cost the campaign around $150,000. And yes, that’s Joe Scarborough partying with Huck in the photo. I ask for the 40th time: Who the fuck is this crazy man from Arkansas? [Politico] Read more on Huckabee’s Abortion of an Attack Wastes $150k…
 

Saddam the Beloved

Though he is “of a tender age,” Benazir Bhutto’s teenage son is now the head of her party. Democracy lives! Yay! [BBC, New York Times, Washington Post] On the anniversary of the day his head popped off, Iraqis remember their bro Saddam Hussein. [Los Angeles Times] Read more on Saddam the Beloved…
 

Creepy Grainy Video

Ads in Iowa, this shit is almost over except there’s another week. [Horse Race] A million little Zapruder films! [Hot Air] Looks like Mittens is soft on criminals after all. [Michelle Malkin] Read more on Creepy Grainy Video…
 

Mike Huckabee Was Really Shooting for Reporters

When Mike Huckabee went hunting in Iowa Wednesday to prove that he had a penis or something, he bagged him a pheasant or two, but he was really hoping to kill reporters. At least that’s the account of one reporter there, who notes that, “At one point, Huckabee’s party turned toward a cluster of reporters and cameramen and, when they kicked up a pheasant, fired shotgun blasts over the group’s heads.” Huck, you crazy wombat! The press has been so nice to you recently, by like, not bringing up your hatred of gay people and all that other crazy Jesusery at all. Read more on Mike Huckabee Was Really Shooting for Reporters…
 

Internment’s Not Just a Shitty Hill Gig, Huckaboo

If there’s one absolutely, totally clear thing that has emerged from the assassination of Benazir Bhutto yesterday it is that Pakistanis coming into the US need closer monitoring. So, we’re thrilled to hear that Mike Huckabee has finally said what someone besides Tancredo needed to say. Some might wonder what monitoring immigrants just because they’re Pakistani has to do with anything and, even though we don’t really have answer to that question, we know that such people are not serious about securing America. Read more on Internment’s Not Just a Shitty Hill Gig, Huckaboo…
 

Huckabee Takes Money From Satan Blah Blah

Politico reports this morning that Mike Huckabee accepted $52,000 in speaking fees from research centers that perform all kinds of anti-Jesusery, like embryonic stem cell research and birth control. Now that’s an outrage! I thought he was only supposed to speak to those with whom he agreed. It’s almost like, if he became president, he’d allow citizens who use birth control to be part of the country! [Politico] Read more on Huckabee Takes Money From Satan Blah Blah…
 

Teh Huckbeez Need Money

Despite his blossoming presidential bid, it looks like the Huckster’s still earning money by working the speaking circuit, Politico reported yesterday. This morning, CNN pretended it was their story and reported it all over again, but they didn’t get to talk to the charming Mr. Huck on this second go-round. Read more on Teh Huckbeez Need Money…
 

Idiots and the Idiots Who Admire Them

Christmas was ruined for so many this year by taser-wielding, Jesus-hating maniacs. Or, at least it happened in this one case. [WorldNet Daily] We’re pretty sure Tom Tancredo’s endorsement wasn’t a “stinging setback” for anybody but sometimes it’s nice to pretend. [Hot Air] Read more on Idiots and the Idiots Who Admire Them…
 

Vagina Monologues

There’s nothing more compelling than an idea whose time has come. [New York Times] Someone may have mentioned to the President that there was an issue with the security contractors. Maybe more than once. [Washington Post] Read more on Vagina Monologues…
 

Pull Out, Or Don’t, Whatever

Guess what happens when your insurance company won’t pay for a liver transplant? You die! [Raw Story] It’s tough to make money for your legal defense on the college lecture circuit when you’re hated on every single college campus in the world. [Think Progress] Read more on Pull Out, Or Don’t, Whatever…
 

If Gitmo’s “Too Nice,” Then Why Don’t You Go Live There?

Mike Huckabee continued to spread his subliminal floating Christmas cheer in Iowa today by telling supporters that Guantanamo Bay is one helluva good time. Specifically, it’s “too nice”! And he would know because he’s been there and is now a goddamn expert. Thanks for the news, motherfuckabee! We wouldn’t know, because all of the tapes have been destroyed. Read more on If Gitmo’s “Too Nice,” Then Why Don’t You Go Live There?…
 

Joe Scarborough And Friend Ridicule Huckabee’s Jesusery

newVideoPlayer("huckabee_floating_cross.flv", 475, 376);Mike Huckabee appeared on MSNBC’s Morning Joe this morning and, among other things, discussed that Christmas ad with the floating not-so-subliminal white cross in the background. (Quick aside: The whole message of the video is about Jesus being the only thing that matters. Why is an intersection of two white lines in the background somehow more controversial than the scary ass sounds that come out of his mouth? Some fucking people….) ANYWAY, Huckabee explains that it was just a bookshelf, and Joe Scarborough laughs his ass off; then at the end his little blond co-host gets bitingly sarcastic. Where’s Tucker Carlson when you need him? Read more on Joe Scarborough And Friend Ridicule Huckabee’s Jesusery…
 

Total Huckabee in 30 Seconds

newVideoPlayer("Huck_AD_Snapper.flv", 475, 376);Mike Huckabee’s new ad encapsulates the man better in 30 seconds than the NYT Magazine‘s piece could in 11 Internet pages. Basic thought process watching this ad: “He hates politics too, even though he’s a politics-ian! Well that’s really cool, I’m starting to like this guy. He talks all smooth and comforty-like, and I heard a rumor that he once lost all this weig– Whoa, what’s this?! He’s saying that the only important thing in the world right now is the importance of Christ? Like that’s his political message? I don’t know if I care for Mike Huckabee really at all now.” Sound familiar? [YouTube] Read more on Total Huckabee in 30 Seconds…
 

I Only <3 Fat Huckabee

Obviously the best part of today’s much poo-pooed New York Times Magazine profile of Mike Huckabee was this little before and after picture. Specifically, the before part. But if these adorable fat pictures are the only reasons to like teh Huckbeez, his suggestion for secretary of Defense is the latest in a million reasons to fear him. Read more on I Only
 

Which Frontrunner Is The Most Dead?

In both parties there are many “frontrunners,” which in the second-by-second world of horserace campaign blogging means “soon-to-be-deads.” Seriously, we champion any frontrunner who can hold the title for more than a couple weeks without then being arbitrarily killed for an offhand comment. After the jump, we ask you: Which frontrunner is the most lastrunning? Read more on Which Frontrunner Is The Most Dead?…
 

Mike Huckabee’s AIDS-less Family Says Hi!

God, I miss fat Huckabee so much. I want Huckabee to get fat again for Christmas. And for the first time in my life, I regret not living in Arkansas. You’d see shit like this all the time! At least like eight years ago. [via National Journal] Read more on Mike Huckabee’s AIDS-less Family Says Hi!…
 

“While presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee is surging in new polls of GOP candidates, a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll released Tuesday shows he would lose to all three leading Democratic candidates by double digits in hypothetical contests.” Well, at least he doesn’t have AIDS. [CNN] Read more on …