Tag: teh gheys

As for Ms. Sparkle, she's Twi-Curious

Wingnuts Worry Purple Unicorn Brainwashes Kids With LGBTQ Ideas Like ‘Acceptance’ And ‘Diversity’

It doesn't take much to send some conservatives into full Moral Panic mode.

The Stupidest Man On The Internet’s History Of Stupid Gay Stories: A Stupid Review

Rightwing blogger Jim Hoft came out Monday as a gay homosexual, and we decided to look at the careful line he walked: Condemning Islamic crimes against gays, while neither clearly supporting nor condemning gay rights in America.

Donald Trump Explains Bigly Why Immigration Killed All Those Gay People In Florida

Donald Trump explained Hillary Clinton can't possibly support gay people, because she doesn't hate Muslims enough. He said other things that made even less sense, too.
To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You people would just replace it with Comic Sans.

Deleted Comments: Away With You, Wonkette, And All Your Bawdy Talk!

We have a semi-rare treat to lead off this week's Deleted Comments column, for it is neither a comment, nor was it deleted! Instead, it is a genuine olde-fashioned email to Yr Editrix from a dissatisfied reader, "Tuatha502," who...
Hello!

Mormon Church Strangely OK With Hate Crimes, Because ‘Fairness’

Those Wacky Mormons (a sitcom coming never to ABC) just can't seem to figure out what they really think about discrimination against LGBT people. Last year, the LDS church surprised us by supporting a Utah law banning discrimination against...

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Please Do Not Smear Your C-Section Baby With Vagina Goo. Really.

Welcome back to the finest little chuckwagon medicine show this side of the Rio Grande. It's the Snake Oil Bulletin! This week, we bring you a fine concoction of pregnancy woo, all bundled up snug as a bug in...
Goodnight Sweet Dunce

Ira Hansen, Your New Favorite Nevada Wingnut, Already Calls It Quits

Just after we proclaimed him our favorite new wingnut and looked forward to a 2015 full of brilliantly idiotic quotes and policy positions, Nevada state assemblyman Ira Hansen has announced that he will not become Speaker of the Nevada...
Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt

Gordon Klingenschmitt To Slay All The (Literal) Demons In The Colorado House

Yr Wonkette would just like to know: is there somewhere we can subscribe to a 24/7 video stream of the Colorado House of Representatives when it starts its next session? Because one of our favorite crazies, disgraced former Navy...
Do you, Jim, Haz Matt to be your husband?

Pastor Warns Gay Weddings Will Give Us All Ebola

The forecast for North Carolina is gay skies with a chance of Ebola, according to Babtist pastor Ron Baity -- really! -- who told his flock at Berean Babtist Church that God is going to strike America with all...
Actual result of anti-bullying laws

Wingnuts Fight For Sacred Right To Keep Bullying Gays, Who Aren’t Real Anyway

Here's a very nice thing that grew out of a very ugly thing, and a very ugly thing in reaction to it: Minnesota's got a new "Safe and Supportive Schools Act" aimed at combatting bullying and making schools safe...
He seems nice -- except, actually nice!

Get A Kluwe, Morans!

Former Minnesota Vikings Sportsball Human Chris Kluwe announced today that he and the team had reached an agreement to settle a lawsuit filed by Kluwe in the wake of his firing last year and a subsequent article he wrote...

Hero Utah Cop Did Not Guard The Gays At Their Parade Because Freedom

You guys, are we talking about the gays too much? We're a little worried we're talking about the gays too much, but there's just so much gayness happening right now, you know? So many other states rammed gay marriage...

Lucky Charms Totally Gonna Make Everyone Gay All Over Again This Year

It's Pride Month, which means that it is time for us to talk yet again about how General Mills cereals are super duper gay. In 2012, we had some real heroes protest General Mills's headquarters because they did not...

Hero Hawaii Legislator Will Save Middle Schoolers From Terror Of Hearing The Word ‘Anus’

Hawaii, we were under the impression your legislative types were generally not, on the whole, anti-gay nutbars since they crammed gay marriage down the throats of the state last December. We should never forget, though, that there will always...

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Do Liberals Hate Sarah Palin But Love Gay Graham Crackers?

In lieu of a Derp Roundup this week, we bring you a special weekend edition of Dear Shitferbrains, leading off with this very important observation from "bmmg39" in response to our Clipbait piece about Sarah Palin's appearance in a...

Gay Bigots Won’t Stop Being Mad At Sally Kern For Saying They Are All AIDS-Riddled Terrorists

Oklahomans insist on electing something called a Sally Kern, a human-shaped object whose sole and all-consuming function is to fret about the gays and hate the gays, including asserting that the gays are the worstest terrorists alive, worse even...