teh ghey
RNC Bigot/Ex-Pilot Dave Agema Talks About His Issues Inside Homosexual ‘Flight Attendant Realm’
Republican National Committeeman Dave Agema got away with saying Obama and pretty much every terrorist is a Muslim and cutting funding to orphans and skipping budget votes to shoot sheep so it’s no wonder that he’s genuinely surprised other Republicans are now very upset because he turned his trademark awfulness toward the gays. So Agema has [...]
Your Tuesday Nice Time: GOP Sen. Mark Kirk Favors Marriage Equality Without Even Having A Gay Son Or Anything
Senator Mark Kirk, (R-Illin’ but maybe the good kind, kids these days) has announced his support for marriage equality. Kirk is now the second Republican in the Senate to support gay marriage, following a similar announcement by Rob “No, sorry, I don’t know Natalie” Portman last month. Kirk also is the first Republican in the [...]
Old Fart Bill Kristol: It is ‘Pathetic’ To Listen To Kids These Days Because They ‘Are Sometimes Wrong’
Super genius Bill Kristol — the “serious, respected conservative intellectual” who invented Dan Quayle and Sarah Palin — has a new super genius theory: Republicans should stop listening to “pathetic” humans known as the youths, what with their rock ‘n roll music and their gay marriage. Why? “Young people are sometimes wrong,” concluded one of [...]
Georgia GOP Chair Worried ‘I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry’ Will Be A Real Thing
Hey remember that one movie, with the dudes, but they are straight, but they gay marry each other? It looked like it was going to be 90 minutes of gay-panic jokes, but then it was surprisingly sweet, if we recall correctly since we probably watched it on cold medicine because there is no way we [...]
Willie Nelson Continues Unbroken 79-Year Bestness Streak
“I never thought of marriage as something only for men and women. But I’d never marry a guy I didn’t like.” — Willie Nelson, in this lovely little Texas Monthly interview, which you should trot off and read. Giddyup. [TexasMonthly / Amazon]
Bryan Fischer Just Can’t Stop Thinking About Gays Having All The Gay Sex, Because Gay Sex Is So Gay And Wrong (Also Gay)
Bryan Fischer, Spokesweasel for the American Patriarchy Association and notorious power bottom, has a novel idea about the sudden popularity of all these gay people having rights as if they were actual Americans or something: He thinks that the only reason teh gheys have been making political headway lately is that Americans have not heard [...]
Colorado Legalizes Civil Unions, Moves To Desegregate Drinking Fountains Next
Congratulations, Colorado! It is the year of our lord 2013, and you have just now decided to let gay people formalize their relationships even though they put their mouths on men’s wangs and/or ladies’ muffins when they themselves have wangs or muffins. We would be bitchier about this, but Talking Points Memo assures us that [...]
West Virginia Newspaper Shares Reader’s Awesome ‘Kill Everybody’ Voicemail
A West Virginia newspaper is taking flak for running a reader’s anonymous voicemail rant in its letters column, simply because the reader suggested some views that were a little bit outside the mainstream. In response to an article about the maybe-trumped-up firing of a lesbian teacher, a reader left a message on the Lincoln Journal’s [...]
Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss Would Like You To Know How Gay He’s Not
Republican senator and Vietnam-deferring uber-patriot Saxby Chambliss doesn’t care how many of his fellow Republicans, like Ohio Sen. Rob Portman, come out of the closet to support equal rights. Saxby isn’t going to change his mind, because he is NOT gay. Repeat: He is NOT gay. When asked if his views had changed on gay [...]
Daily Caller Guy Pretty Weird About Sex
The Daily Caller’s Mark Judge is something of a genius, he wants you to know. This is a man who’s pretty sure The Blacks stole his bike and who finds metaphors for the “collapse of the old liberal order” in a base-ball player’s “indolence.” And now, if you have a moment, he would like to [...]
Can’t Say They Didn’t Warn Us: Gays Finally End Straight Marriage Once And For All
How could we have been so blind? Skateboard punk rocker folk singing lefty Michelle Shocked was right, y’all: gay marriage really has ended the world! Well, maybe it hasn’t ended the world. But it has officially ended straight marriage at one church in North Carolina. So we guess we should have been listening to Maggie [...]
Skateboard Punk Rock Folk Singer Lefty Michelle Shocked Does Not Like ‘Fags’
Sorry, fellow 1980s protesters against “nuclear war” and “nuclear power” and “whatever else we were protesting about in the 1980s oh yeah we remember now it was Iran-Contra.” You are now going to have to throw away your cassette tape of “Short Sharp Shocked,” which was the soundtrack to all those protests, because Michelle Shocked, [...]
Radio Lady Wants To Abolish Homosexuality
Well, great – a lady compared a thing to slavery! And it wasn’t abortion this time! Abortion is slavery a lot with some people, you ever notice that? So, what was it now you ask? Yes, yes, it was the homosexuals, of course. They are now apparently “ripping apart people’s lives and families” and we [...]
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