Tag Archives: teh gays

  Department of Regulating Your Sexytime

Michigan Fighting To Keep Ban On The Gay Marriage ‘To Regulate Sexual Relationships’ Like That’s A Good Thing

Oh sigh. We are so tired of these dead-enders who can’t accept that the gay agenda is totes coming to your town, thanks to that raging gay homosexual judicial activist (but only when he rules against the right; otherwise he’s just doing what Thomas Jesus Jefferson would have wanted) Justice Anthony Kennedy, who was all, like, “Huh, why do we have some dumb law that makes gays unequal when we are ‘Merica and are supposed to be super hot for equality?” (We are paraphrasing a little. But just a little.) Take Michigan (no, please take it, ha!), which is cage-match, to-the-death fighting to keep its ban on the gay homosexual marriage, but for a REALLY good reason: because your sexytime is SO the state’s bidness. For the kids! Read more on Michigan Fighting To Keep Ban On The Gay Marriage ‘To Regulate Sexual Relationships’ Like That’s A Good Thing…
  le sigh

Right-Wing Bigot Commits Le Suicide To Wake Up France About Les Gays

There are many wonderful ways to voice your dissent on political issues of the day. You could, for example, put a bumper sticker on your car, which is highly effective. Or you could write a sternly worded letter to the powers that be. Or wave signs. Or put on a funny-looking hat with teabags hanging from it. But you know what is ALL KINDS OF FUCKED UP? Shooting yourself in the head on the altar at Notre Dame (the actual Notre Dame, not that college in the middle of Nowhere, Indiana) because of THE GAYS. That, friends, is ALL KINDS OF FUCKED UP. Unless you’re Madame La le Bigot, in which case, it is a “spectacular” and peachy way to wake up your fellow countrymen to the imminent threat of les gays. Read more on Right-Wing Bigot Commits Le Suicide To Wake Up France About Les Gays…
  the love that dare not speak its name

When One Senator Loves Two Other Senators Very Much: The Lindsey Graham Story

Guess what? It is a new day, so it is time to talk about Lindsey Graham again. We will get to write about this until the end of time, apparently. This poses a problem for yr Wonkette because there are only so many old-timey gay ads we can use in stories about him. Fortunately, there is no dearth of pictures of Lindsey Graham looking fetchingly butch so we’re OK for a while. (Lowly not-editor’s note: isn’t that picture terrifying at that size???) The Senate’s most macho closeted Southerner went on Piers Morgan last night to talk about gay marriage, along with grumpy old men (and unrequited love interests of Lindsey Graham) John McCain and Joe Lieberman, because why not? We’ve watched all painful five minutes of this Huey, Dewey and Louie show so you don’t have to. Thank us later. Read more on When One Senator Loves Two Other Senators Very Much: The Lindsey Graham Story…
  keep america tacky

Prepare For Gay Invasion, Redneck America!

Hmm, guess we’d have to buy the DVD (“Get a five-pack!”) to see exactly what The Homosexualists did to this town in Arkansas. We only see evidence of a sedate street fair or bake sale, and then there are butthurt reactions from local wingnuts. Anyway, let’s all stop the horror of gay people moving to your rural community. No real American should be subject to good restaurants, independent bookstores, landscape design or rising property values. [Arkansas Times] Read more on Prepare For Gay Invasion, Redneck America!…