teevee - Wonkette

Posts Tagged “teevee”

gross

Old Barbara Walters Had Sex Affair With Old Black Republican Senator, In The 1970s

Forty years ago, twice-divorced teevee gal Barbara Walters was happily getting it on with a Republican senator from Massachusetts. Not only was Edward Brooke the first straight Republican politician, but he was also the first black man elected to the U.S. Senate. You know, that is racial transcendence.

"Baba Wawa" reveals all the horny '70s details on Oprah Winfrey's show next week, and we'll all be watching. But because we won't, here's what supposedly happened. More »

4:15 PM on Thu May 1 2008
By Ken Layne
9,981 views, 63 comments

Latest by fuzzybutts: Aww, it kinda makes Baaba seem a little less, well, BORING! It was the 70'S! This kinda made her hip. Today, it's a big yawn. more »

DUMB OLD GEORGE W. BUSH LOATHED BY TELEVISION COMMUNITY: Remember when George W. Bush appeared on NBC's Deal or No Deal program Monday night and joked that he's "thrilled to be anywhere with high ratings these days," before honoring a decorated war veteran? Well this particular episode of Deal brought in the lowest ratings the show has ever had. [NYP]

32 comments

howie mandel knows what's up

George Bush Honors Soldier On TeeVee

Here is American President George W. Bush's special message to a friendly contestant on NBC's Deal Or No Deal last night. The contestant was a soldier in Iraq who won many Purple Hearts. Bush honors his service by making jokes about how low his approval rating is and how Congress is incapable of effecting positive change on a single person's life. [NBC]

5:47 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Newell
520 views, 17 comments

wrasslin'

Hate TV Wrestling? Then You'll Also Hate Hillary, McCain & Obama

What do poor, stupid Americans love more than anything? Sitting on the couch and eating buckets of fried chicken while watching televised wrasslin', that's what! Here's Hillary promising to "stick it up your ass" if you don't vote for her, and Barack threatening to "send you to white concentration camps" for being so fat and dumb, and John McCain being used as a folding chair to comically knock the teeth out of a wrestler called "WAL-NUTZ Da Destroya." [YouTube]

3:15 PM on Tue Apr 22 2008
By Ken Layne
1,024 views, 47 comments

Latest by Edward Bulwer-Lytton: So. Embarrassing. No. Snark. Just. Shame. more »

ahem,

This World Should Be Taken Out Back, Like In A Shed Or Something, Blown Up, Repackaged Into Shrapnel Cakes And Sold To Martians For Three Cents Apiece

George W. Bush will be on the game show Deal or No Deal tonight. [Yahoo] More »

america-haters

Witch! Traitor TeeVee Critic Makes Terrorist Error About George Washington

A teevee critic for the Los Angeles Times is very evil and terroristic and probably also gives AIDS to small children with her "Liberal STD Gun" because look what she wrote in a review of HBO's John Adams series: "George Washington (David Morse) so quickly tired of the infighting among his Cabinet and vagaries of public opinion that he stepped down from the presidency after a single term." Blasphemy, you modern-day Benedict Arnold from France! More »

2:00 PM on Mon Apr 21 2008
By Newell
2,429 views, 39 comments

celebrities

TeeVee Moron Endorses McCain

A comical idiot girl on the teevee show The Hills has endorsed John McCain, according to TMZ and US Weekly. This pretty much ensures that Old Man Walnuts will become president. Let's explore the cultural/political significance of Heidi Montag, who apparently goes around in public in a whimsical prostitute nightgown, after the jump. More »

11:55 AM on Wed Apr 2 2008
By Ken Layne
7,347 views, 56 comments

trust no one

Mulder & Scully Crack 9/11-Condi Conspiracy

A long time ago in the 1990s there was this teevee program called The X-Files — a creepy mix of Nixon-era political conspiracy, the occult, fake terror attacks, FEMA killing everybody, and Space Demons. It seemed completely fantastic until 2001, when Dick Cheney and George W. Bush began their reign of horror. And finally, after years of silence, the creators of the X-Files are talking about how this administration stole all their ideas, even 9/11! More »

2:25 PM on Thu Mar 27 2008
By Ken Layne
4,246 views, 33 comments

TEEVEE MCCAIN FUN: Our old friend Matt Welch — author of the only true book about how John McCain is a total corrupt nut — will be on the Fox News Red Eye program in a few minutes, or actually at 3 a.m. Eastern. If you're riding out that last bit of meth, please tune in! [Reason/DailyGut]

14 comments

HILLARY TO APPEAR ON TEEVEE'S DAILY SHOW TONIGHT: Hillary appeared on Saturday Night Live over the weekend, and she will continue her "Hillary Appears On Comedic Television Shows That The Youth May Enjoy Tour 2008" with tonight's episode of the Daily Show. It will be funny when Hillary sits down expecting some softballs, and Jon Stewart asks her why she hasn't released her tax returns yet, and then [CACKLE]. [Daily Show]

48 comments

humor softens desperation

Har Har Har Hillary Is Funny, On TeeVee!

Here's the thing: Hillary is funny here, on Saturday Night Live. She is funny without bringing undue shame upon her campaign. We'll see how this plays in Vermont, Rhode Island, Ohio and Texas.

Clinton plays cameo role on 'Saturday Night Live' [AP/Boston Herald]

1:24 AM on Mon Mar 3 2008
By KLayne
2,564 views, 38 comments

super tuesday polling pix

Be Your Own Cable News Producer!

So your editor had to get the satellite teevee because he just moved his entire family including small children and a dog to the Mojave Desert far from your evil civilization. And check it out: The Direct TV has this “News Mix” channel which is what you see pictured. All the news channels! You can just move through them with the little buttons on your remote, and get the audio off whichever you need/have to hear at that moment. This is some kind of techmologies revolution! [NewsMix]

5:26 PM on Tue Feb 5 2008
By KLayne
655 views, 35 comments

Latest by biminitwst: Whaddya know. Next, they'll have these tubes that connect everybody with everybody else, and porn news and stuff. Maybe they'll call it the internets or something.And we'll all have rocket powered cars that fly and RonPaul will be president and more »

talk show

David Letterman Gives Hillary One Last Chance To Shine

When did these late-night talk shows start featuring politicians? Does this have something to do with that Writer’s Strike? Whatever the case, now you can waste six minutes of your life watching Hillary Clinton be “with it” or “down on that” or “looser than a nun on prom night.” Happy Super Duper Tuesday, everyone! Let’s pray god it’s our last.

1:49 AM on Tue Feb 5 2008
By KLayne
1,050 views, 33 comments

intern book reports

Analyzing The Larry Craig 'Law & Order' Episode

Last night there was some episode of the popular teevee show Law & Order that may or may not have been about Larry Craig. It also may or may not have been about Barack Obama, Norman Hsu, and the murder of Vince Foster by Hillary Clinton! DID YOU SEE IT? I sure didn’t, but Intern Elise “Gossip Roundup” Rosen — who’s from L.A., just like the movie stars — for some reason did. She summarized the plot and “allegories” of the episode in a very formal G-chat conversation last night, despite my best attempts to make things incoherent. Read at your own risk, after the jump. More »

1:32 PM on Thu Jan 31 2008
By Newell
3,409 views, 27 comments

Latest by jenipants: Damn my cable for being out!!!!! I hates snowstorms AND stupid people that crash into poles in my neighborhood!!! That said, I totally need to snag my sister's Tivo, if only to watch this episode. more »

OMG RUDY IS LEAVING US! Turn on your teevee and cry 911 tears, because Rudy’s going on live right now to say good-bye to us, forever, and to endorse crazy old weirdo John McCain.

30 comments

why would she do this on mlk day?

Oprah Winfrey: Race Gender Traitor!

Oprah Winfrey’s endorsement of Barack Obama was supposed to create a permanent coalition between white women who watch daytime teevee and half-Kenyan Harvard Law Review editors. Instead, Oprah’s nutty fans have switched from the television to the Internet, where they’re all leaving terrible messages on Oprah’s own official website message board.

“For the first time in history we actually have a shot at putting a woman in the White House and Oprah backs the black MAN,” some angry lady commented. “She’s choosing her race over her gender.” More »

3:17 PM on Mon Jan 21 2008
By KLayne
3,032 views, 33 comments

Latest by null: Comment on Oprah Winfrey: Race Gender Traitor! I THOUGHT OPRAH WAS A CHRISTIAN; IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ANY CHRISTIAN TO BACK OBAMA ,WHEN HE AND HIS WIFE ARE FOR LIVE BIRTH ABORTIONS AND MUCH MORE, HE IS A COMPLETE PHONY. more »

a faint stench of secrets

Shocking Video Proves FOX Newsman Carl Cameron Is A Demon

Everybody loves teevee’s Carl Cameron, but is the Fox News star working for the American god, Jesus, or was he hatched from the festering anus of the Great Deceiver, whose name is called Beelzebub? That’s the question millions are asking after watching this terrible YouTube clip from the South Carolina GOP debate last week. Cameron was making fun of Ron Paul, as usual, when something weird tried to slither out of the broadcaster’s own mouth. As Cameron slurps the hellish tentacle back down his throat, you can hear the monstrosity saying “our way” or “their way” or, more ominously, “the’er-do’laute.” And we all know what that means.

5:13 PM on Thu Jan 17 2008
By KLayne
1,236 views, 23 comments

Latest by jose reyes.the roof: Between the Kids First Cthulhu tag & the Poofter tag, who's approving vanity plates in Virgina? more »

orange-headed anti-mexican space.com founders

Orange-Headed Anti-Mexican CNN Elitist Is Your New President!

Everyone loves orange-headed Space.com founder Lou Dobbs. After all, he has protected you from the Mexican. By hosting a teevee show about how he will stop the Terrible Mexicans, Lou Dobbs truly personifies America: He is a very rich person making millions of additional dollars every year saying things that make certain unemployed people feel angry. And then those angry unemployed people watch the commercials for denture slime or protections against home intruders or time-share offers or over-the-counter solutions to the heartbreak of incontinence. LOU DOBBS IS AMERICA. [Lou Dobbs For President]

12:46 AM on Thu Jan 17 2008
By KLayne
1,439 views, 44 comments

Latest by riffin1: Who's Loud Obbs anyway? more »

OMG OBAMA WEARS FLAG PIN

Posts Tagged “teevee”