Wonkette

We have read this elitist New Yorker profile of your annoying loudmouth boyfriend Keith Olbermann and, like most profiles of MSNBC personalities, it confirms everything you learned about current MSNBC dynamics during the first five minutes of its Iowa caucus coverage. MORE »

• OH JESUS CHRIST: “Breaking News 3:23 PM ET: Tim Russert Is Dead of a Heart Attack, His Family Says.” [New York Times]

You will certainly want to watch all eight minutes of Jenna and Laura’s crazy time over on the lesbian teevee show! Let us know if anything good happens. For us, the highlight was about 35 seconds in when Jenna sits down and crosses her legs and flashes some panty. And then we quit watching, because who fucking cares what these people say, right? [Campaign Circus]

Forty years ago, twice-divorced teevee gal Barbara Walters was happily getting it on with a Republican senator from Massachusetts. Not only was Edward Brooke the first straight Republican politician, but he was also the first black man elected to the U.S. Senate. You know, that is racial transcendence.

“Baba Wawa” reveals all the horny ’70s details on Oprah Winfrey’s show next week, and we’ll all be watching. But because we won’t, here’s what supposedly happened. MORE »

DUMB OLD GEORGE W. BUSH LOATHED BY TELEVISION COMMUNITY: Remember when George W. Bush appeared on NBC’s Deal or No Deal program Monday night and joked that he’s “thrilled to be anywhere with high ratings these days,” before honoring a decorated war veteran? Well this particular episode of Deal brought in the lowest ratings the show has ever had. [NYP]

Here is American President George W. Bush’s special message to a friendly contestant on NBC’s Deal Or No Deal last night. The contestant was a soldier in Iraq who won many Purple Hearts. Bush honors his service by making jokes about how low his approval rating is and how Congress is incapable of effecting positive change on a single person’s life. [NBC]

What do poor, stupid Americans love more than anything? Sitting on the couch and eating buckets of fried chicken while watching televised wrasslin’, that’s what! Here’s Hillary promising to “stick it up your ass” if you don’t vote for her, and Barack threatening to “send you to white concentration camps” for being so fat and dumb, and John McCain being used as a folding chair to comically knock the teeth out of a wrestler called “WAL-NUTZ Da Destroya.” [YouTube]

George W. Bush will be on the game show Deal or No Deal tonight. [Yahoo]