Wonkette Operative “Cheryl” sends us this amazing report about one teen’s secret to awesome spelling. [Orlando Sentinel]

DEAR SLATE.COM ADVICE LADY: My family members are staunch Democrats and love to bad-mouth Republicans every time the conversation turns to politics. This is heartbreaking, because I myself am a secret Republican. My mom already knows that I’m in love with a Republican, and she won’t stop condemning him behind his back for his beliefs, calling him names like “right-wing whack job” and “little lord Republiroy” (also making fun of his height). My brothers all say stuff like, “Republicans suck” and, “Those Republicans are dumb-***es.” I am afraid to come out to them about my beliefs because of potential verbal abuse being heaped on me. Also, being a teenager, I do not have the advantage of moving out of the house and escaping said abuse. What should I do? [Dear Prudence/Slate]

After the Mark Foley scandal, it was all but certain that even the most naive “civic minded” teenager would avoid the House and Senate page programs. Instead, becoming a page is more popular than ever before. MORE »

• Islamofascists and their apologists suck at Photoshop. [Michelle Malkin]
• “Lying b[itch] … shrew … Machiavellian … evil, power-mad witch … the ultimate self-serving politician”: Hillary-mania is in full swing in NH. [To the People]
• Condi Rice is a fashion plate. [Brains Over Bombs]
• For shame, Sen Allen, for zygote-killing shame. [The News-Virginian]
• Sexy teens listen to sexy music and have sexy sexy sexy sex sex. [CNN]

The charming magazine mockup above was produced (we are not making this up) by your DEA, which has apparently contracted Patrick Hearst’s non-union Mexican equivalent for propaganda purposes. MORE »

Scooped again:

“Youthful drinking is tied to violence, risky sex, poor grades and drunken driving.” — The Washington Post, 11/01/2005 MORE »