Not even teabaggers and wingnuts pay any attention to Jonah Goldberg, but he still wants in on this whole GOP purge & self-destruct thing he saw on the Internet, so he has bravely submitted the dead Republican president Teddy “Theodore” Roosevelt as the next victim. Why must the beloved GOP icon be destroyed? Because Jonah actually looked up this Roosevelt guy on Yahoo and whoops, communist much, Teddy? No wonder they called him “The Bull Moose Pulpit” or whatever. MORE »

New York Times “lightning rod conservative” columnist Bill Kristol today continues his titular free fall from superficially respectable-sounding “foreign policy conservative” to “comically shameless Republican purveyor of cynical misinformation who does not actually believe in or fact-check anything.” We recommend you sit down before reading this snippet from today’s column: “Should voters be alarmed by a relatively young or inexperienced vice-presidential candidate? No.” He adds that Teddy Roosevelt and Harry Truman were both new to the scene when their bosses croaked in office, and they turned out just fine. This is the same Bill Kristol who has spent all summer deriding Barack Obama’s relative youth and inexperience. Why do we even bother… MORE »

THE BEST TEDDY ROOSEVELT CARTOON YOU’LL READ TODAY: Katie Beaton might be our favorite web cartoonist since Chris Onstad. This one’s called “Theodore Roosevelt on the Presidency.” You might also enjoy this one, about the assassination of President James Garfield. The history sections are all awesome, the end. [KateBeaton.com]

Here’s a fun little movie made by John Gorenfeld, who has a creepy new book out about the Rev. Moon and the Washington Times and all sorts of Bush Family/Cult hijinx. But do not let John McCain see this video, because he doesn’t yet know Teddy Roosevelt died, 89 years ago.

It looks like Cindy “Cougar” McCain tapped into the campaign funds, got high as fuck, and created the latest ad for dear husband WALNUTS! This is really a great ad — equal parts Stanley Kubrick, Teddy Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, all wrapped up with that Cougar Touch. Will British Winston save the girl in the blueberry fields from the descending galaxies of WALNUTS? Find out for yourself, after the jump! MORE »

* A political party has really sunk low when their best candidate doesn’t even, you know, exist. [Logged Hours] MORE »

Intern Season is here! And this week, intern issues dominated your questions. Our Anonymous Hill Staffer was happy to help you sort through them.

After the jump, fresh blood, substance abuse, and White House pets. As always, AHS reminds you to drink outside whenever possible.

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