Politicians: they have bad luck on boats! Last Friday, Rudy Giuliani was happily riding a ferry of some kind in Michigan when he was set upon and attacked by a horde of vicious Ron Paul supporters demanding to know what he did with all the gold from the World Trade Centers and asking why he let Cheney do 9/11. According to a local GOP activist, the Paultards threatened to throw Rudy overboard. He eventually “took shelter in the ferry’s pilothouse for the 15-minute journey,” according to the Detroit Free Press. “It was awful,” says the activist, who has no sense of humor. But like we said a minute ago, boats are just bad news for politicians, as the New Yorker reveals in their October 1 issue. Examples include: MORE »
Tags: 9/11, boats, curses, dirk kempthorne, don't go near the water dept., duke cunningham, duke-stir, larry craig, ron paul, rudy giuliani, ted stevens, top, washington yacht club
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Alaska Senator Ted Stevens is as ancient and snowy white as the craggy glaciers his people farm in the Land of the Midnight Sun. And despite the fact that he is 1,000 years old and knows nothing about the Internet and is 
Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska is the president of cereal! This weekend, he participated in Anchorage’s “third-annual Crafters Smackdown,” where raging hobos and salmon construct beautiful “Alaska cereal boxes” as bloodsport. Given the contest’s lax ethics rules, it is no surprise that the most corrupt senator in world history 
Congressman 
Because we can never resist an opportunity to run a picture of the hottest Governor in all 50 states (and my total girl crush), the Washington Post is reporting that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin 
Now that Ted Stevens’ son Ben is no longer a corrupt Alaskan state Senator, he needs to find some way to feed the kids he may or may not have. Thankfully, father Ted pulled some strings and got his wayward son a gig with the transportation company Lynden, who, coincidentally, have received $300 million in federal contracts over the last six years, thanks to Ted being a ranking member of the Senate Defense Appropriations committee. Now, how about this job? Cushy desk gig, no doubt? 
Nobody could find Ted Stevens at the Capitol today because he kept disappearing whenever they caught a glimpse of him, but CNN’s Dana Bash chased him down a stairwell or something and this is the hilarious transcript of the videotaped interview, which we’ll try to find for you later. Or just 
As the longest-serving Republican Senator ever, Ted Stevens has obviously committed enough crime to make Dutch Schultz blush. He’s less ostentatious than your Duke Cunninghams and less perverted than all those under-70 whippersnappers who keep fucking whores and little boys, though, so we never thought we’d see him go down in our lifetime. Which means it’s a pleasant surprise to see the FBI and IRS 