ted nugent

We love Wendy Davis. You love Wendy Davis. We and you want to do very sexy things to Wendy Davis, even the straight chicks. Unfortunately, even saying that is the kind of thing the Wendy Davis for Governor campaign would send out an OUTRAGED PRESS RELEASE ABOUT. Most of you don’t get Wendy Davis for […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we bring you a bunch of stories that didn’t quite merit a post of their own, but that were far too stupid to ignore altogether. Apply alcohol directly to your central processing unit as needed. Or your computer’s. For the second week in a […]

OK, that clickbait headline is probably not true, because when it comes to how much monies we would pay not to see Ted Nugent, the answer is “all of them, Katie.” We really would not have figured that our sentiments were shared by a town in East Texas, though we are happy to have been […]

Mistakes were made, everyone. “I do apologize — not necessarily to the President — but on behalf of much better men than myself,” Nugent said, calling the comments “streetfighter terminology.” “I apologize for using the term,” Nugent said. “I will try to elevate my vernacular to the level of those great men that I’m learning […]

So Ted Nugent. We have discussed him and his real purty mouth. (He called Barack Obama a chimpanzee and subhuman mongrel, which didn’t even crack that day’s purty-things Top 10, probably.) The Texas Attorney General, Greg Abbott, who is running against Wendy Davis for Texas Gub, campaigned with the Nugemonster the other day, and then […]

Here’s a surprise! Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott was pretty happy to embrace Ted Nugent at a campaign appearance the other day, but now it’s almost as if he would rather poop in his own pants than talk to these CNN liberal media jerks about what a swell guy Ted Nugent is. What could have […]

We don’t know much about Texas politics, and we don’t want to. But it strikes us as maybe a bit desperate of Republican gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott to be campaigning with Ted Nugent, the terminally conservative guitar man of “Obama is a sub-human mongrel” fame, and Hillary Clinton “should ride my machine gun” fame, and […]

You were probably thinking we were done talking about the Grammys. We thought we were also, too, but that was before we learned that Breitbart was having a breathless poutrage about the Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album award going to La Santa Cecilia, which counts among its members a (gasp!) undocumented immigrant. Jose […]

You already know that we are hoping HARD for some State of the Union drama tonight, but we were figuring that it would come from Michelle throat-ramming America with gay sportsthugs. That’s a fine start, but we are your fucking base, Obama. Give us some red meat we can tear apart and devour and come […]

Hey, Americans! Pants-pooping child-bride-marrying bumbaclot Ted Nugent has had some serious thoughts about freedom and liberty, and also on how sad it is that certain people have gained political office. And in fact, he has some regrets. Are they regrets that he is still not dead or in jail? Sadly, they are not. But he […]

You know who is the greatest friend The Blacks ever had? We mean besides Donald Trump. It is awesome rock & roller and Republican Minority Outreach Specialist Ted Nugent! He is always talking about how he is not racist because he loves Motown and some other “reasons” probably too, oh, we remember one, he is […]

Our favorite-not-favorite rocker and gun enthusiast turns 65 today! We here at Wonkette would like to wish Ted Nugent a most happy birthday (or should we say Merry Birthday, because December? We don’t want to get yelled at for using the wrong word here.) Since it is Mr. Nugent’s 65th birthday, we are sure that […]

NRA board member and bozo birthday boy Ted Nugent, who is still neither dead nor in jail, marked the one-year anniversary of the Newtown Massacre with a WND column blaming the shootings on “political correctness” and warning that unless we arm teachers, eliminate gun-free zones, and do something about mentally ill people — as individuals, […]

When you think about Ted Nugent, what do you think about? A litany of failed TV shows? A dude stone cold spewing some racist bullshit? Naw, mang. You think peaceful civil rights superhero, of course. Heavily armed with whatever media bully pulpit I can muster, I exercise my First Amendment rights like my hero Rosa […]

Ted Nugent is bringing his political know-how to the contest for Texas Agriculture Commission, accepting the positions of co-chair and treasurer for former state Rep. Sid Miller. Nugent promises to “raise as much hell” as possible on Miller’s behalf, while his direct involvement in day-to-day management of the campaign is expected to consist of posing […]