Former South Dakota legislator Ted Klaudt was convicted in Blowvember for sexually abusing his foster daughters while telling them his was examining them for their suitability as egg donors. Ted, by the way, isn’t a doctor. He was sentenced yesterday to 44 years in prison and won’t be eligible to apply for parole for until 2030. Ted’s lawyer had argued for a lesser sentence because a 50 year-old, 600 pound man is likely to die in prison, but, really, that’s a fate that Ted could’ve prevented by NOT RAPING HIS FOSTER DAUGHTERS so the judge and I and probably most of the rest of the world don’t really give a shit. Enjoy prison, short eyes. [Fox News]

Another day, another dollar, another sick fuck that managed to get through a significant portion of his life without being identified by the po-po as the twisted predator he is AND be elected to public office. Though, in defense of his constituents, it was in South Dakota and maybe there just weren’t enough other options? Yeah, I doubt that, too. But, join us after the jump for what may be the most twisted, idiotic, over-planned long-term scheme to sexually abuse young women (yes, boys, this one’s hetero).

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