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Posts Tagged ‘ted kennedy’

WHERE IS GEORGE BUSH'S STATEMENT?

Here Is Obama’s ‘Beach Speech’ On Ted Kennedy

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

MIGHT AS WELL POST IT: Obama’s official reaction to Ted Kennedy’s death this morning, live from a curiously placed podium, in the heart of Jurassic Park. [YouTube]


PHOTO TOURS

Wonkette Went To Virginia For A Town Hall, And Randall Terry Went Nuts, The End

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

See, there he is! Randall Terry, who is somewhere between 37 and 124 years old, brought his Anti-Babykilling World Tour to the peaceful Virginia money cave of Reston yesterday evening to disrupt Rep. Jim Moran’s health care town hall, also featuring Doctor Howard Dean of Ver-mont. He succeeded for about 5 minutes, but then the cops kicked him out, and Howard Dean continued to slaughter babies, live, before the crowd of 2,500. Mostly, though, it was an informative (=boring) event, despite the 20-odd jackasses who couldn’t stop shouting monosyllabic vagaries whenever they didn’t like something. MORE »


PROFILES IN LISTENING COURAGE

Orrin Hatch Sings, For Ted Kennedy!

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009


Beloved Utah Republican Orrin Hatch loves to sing, and he loves to compose songs, so he can sing them! The songs are often about the Mormon God, but this time the song is about the Liberal God, Ted Kennedy, who has tragically died of old age and sickness. Enjoy! [YouTube via "Scott R."]


BAR TRIVIA

Interesting Facts About Liberal Hero Ted Kennedy!

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Oh yeah he helped Obama get the nomination, too!To the nation’s shrinking pool of 80-year-old bitter white wingnuts, there is only one thing to know about liberal Taxachusetts leftist liberal Ted “Edward” Kennedy: Forty years ago, he showed the ultimate disrespect for Republican Political Traditions by getting in the car with an attractive girl …. And then he drove off a bridge and accidentally drowned the girl and spent several hours trying to sober up/get his story straight. But let there be no confusion. The only reason Wingnuts have ever been upset about Kennedy is a) He didn’t hate black people, like they do, and b) He perhaps had a secret sexy time with a girl. There are other facts about the “Actual lion loose in the Senate,” too! MORE »


BOSTON POLITICS

Mass. Lawmakers Now Rethinking Whole ‘Leave Kennedy’s Seat Vacant For Five Months’ Thing

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

He was a master of parliamentary procedure!Now that the question of what to do about Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat is no longer an academic one, folks in Boston seem to be giving the issue a little re-think. Remember Kennedy wrote to the governor recently asking him if he couldn’t perhaps do something about that terrible law Democrats passed in 2004, the one that called for a special election in the event of a Senate vacancy FIVE MONTHS after the seat first opened? That got everybody so steamed … MORE »


THERE GOES HEALTH CARE REFORM

Ted Kennedy Dead At 77

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

HELICOPTER BEN

Obama To Ruin Boring Martha’s Vineyard Vacation With Re-Appointment of Ben Bernanke

Monday, August 24th, 2009

He saved baseball from the Great Depression!Have you ever had a holiday vacation on Martha’s Vineyard? So boring! Once you get over the “Ah and there’s where Ted Kennedy crashed his car and drowned that lady” historical thing — sorry, Denby! — you realize it’s just a place full of crappy tourist shops and terrible humid boiling weather and a bunch of ugly gated beach mansions surrounded by swamps, bogs and discarded “lobster rolls.” How to jazz it up? Barack Obama decided to go on the teevee to announce what everybody already knew he was doing: giving Ben Bernanke another term. MORE »


PLEASE TAKE US BACK

England Prepares To ‘Go 1812′ On U.S. For Bashing Its Health Care

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009

The country England, which used to own America, has a terrible system of health care where people pay a bit more in taxes so that when they get sick, they can walk into a doctor’s office or a hospital to receive treatment. This is how Empires fall! But supposedly English people “like” their National Death Laboratory (NHS) and simply do not care for these American Republican politicians lambasting it on the telly. Will the lobsterbacks invade America again? Yes. No. No, it’s not worth much anymore. MORE »


CARTOON VIOLENCE

Barack Obama’s Health Care Plan Is About To Be All Up In Your Butthole

Friday, June 26th, 2009

Cartoon Violence!By the Comics Curmudgeon
Hey, everybody, did you hear about the Health Care? Health Care is a very important issue facing us all today, and Obama has promised to Do Something about the Health Care? There is one slight problem with this: Health Care is very, very complicated, and any configuration of it is pretty much terrifying, so nobody really understands what the deal is with the proposed Health Care Reforms (or, really, what the deal is with the current un-Reformed Health Care that we have now). How, then, are America’s great communicators, the political cartoonists, supposed to explain Health Care to you, the mouth-breathing masses? Well, if the following cartoons are any indication, they will do so with murder, hideous mutants, and anal sex. OH MY GOD IS THIS WHAT WONKETTE HAS DONE TO AMERICAN DISCOURSE? DAVID DENBY WAS RIGHT! MORE »


SOCIALIZED MEDICINE

Senator Kennedy’s Health Proposal Is The Suck

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Nurses like this one will be illegal.Sorry, Denby, but your boyfriend Ted Kennedy has written the most awful piece of proposed legislation since Mitch McConnell suggested ending state funding for robotic goat-dildoes back in the Gingrich Revolution. What is so terrible about Kennedy’s healthcare proposal? The Congressional Budget Office NO LIKEY. MORE »


BUT DAVID DENBY WILL TAKE CREDIT

Jesus Saves Ted Kennedy!

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

Hooray! (PSST HOW AMBIGUOUS IS THE TERM “REMISSION”??): “Sen. Edward Kennedy’s brain cancer is in remission and the Massachusetts Democrat is expected back in the Senate after the Memorial Day recess, according to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid. Sen. Reid (D-Nev.) said Tuesday that he spoke with Kennedy’s wife and was told the 77-year-old lawmaker will return to work full time during the first week of June.” Just in time for Socialized Health Care! But what if Harry Reid is lying? [The Hill]