Wonkette

Kinda sucks to be Hillary Clinton right now. Ted Kennedy — one of the last two major Democratic endorsers along with Al Gore, who seems to be keeping silent — has endorsed Barry Obama, last night’s big winner. The old fatso’s endorsement has been in the works for a few days, it turns out, so it’s not like he’s ‘tarding out just because of that delightful speech last night. Instead, insiders suggest that it was Kennedy’s history of killing young white bitches in his car that made him feel closer to “the black candidate.” [New York Times]

So you know how the CIA destroyed tapes of [fun and happy!] interrogations of al Qaeda operatives in 2005? Well some Demrats like Ted Kennedy and Dick Durbin having already called for Michael Mukasey to lead an investigation, which will obviously never happen. There’s a war going on, people! Anyway, the would-be scandal’s served White House Press Secretary Dana Perino another heaping pile of shit to eat in an already dense week, and she was the antithesis of informative today. The count for her most commonly used phrases today was: “I don’t know” — seven times; “decline to comment/not commenting” — 10 times; and “still gathering facts/gather the facts” — 11 times. So this little deletey situation should get cleared up right quick. [White House, NYT] MORE »

Crazy week for Teddy Kennedy, right? First he bags $8.5 million for his autobiography, which fetched more than Hillary Clinton’s Living History ($8 million) but fell short of deals for Tony Blair ($10 million) and Bill Clinton ($12 million). Then the woman who allegedly had Kennedy’s love child sued the National Enquirer over last year’s cover story which claimed Uncle Teddy got her preggers, paid her a measly $15,000 to shut the fuck up, and had her apartment “ransacked and evidence of their relationship removed.” She also says she fears for her life and warns that she could end up like Mary Jo Kopechne. You know, dead. But apparently she’s under psychiatric care, so, you know… Court docs, and original story after the jump!

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Washington, D.C., attorney Bob Barnett has worked the same magic handling the Kennedy book deal as he did with Bill and Hillary Clinton’s. As we reported earlier this month, the rep was shopping around Kennedy’s autobiography in New York. After a six-day auction that ended Nov. 19, Grand Central Publishing bought world rights for a reported $8 million. Before the deal can be completed, however, Kennedy’s publishing contract must be approved by the Senate Ethics Committee (fun!). Editor and publisher Jonathan Karp said he hoped to publish the book in the fall of 2010, telling The New York Times that Kennedy is “walking, talking history… There’s no limit to what he can talk about with authority and distinctive personal perspective.” Kennedy Memoirs Said to Fetch $8 Million [NYT] MORE »

While were were quite happy with the Ted Kennedy tell-all Senator, written by former aide Richard Burke (Ricky! Give me that cookie!), it looks like we’ll soon be hearing from the old lion himself, as a bidding war has reached the mid-seven figure range. Washington, D.C., attorney Bob Barnett, who worked book deals for Alan Greenspan, and Bill and Hillary Clinton, is handling the Kennedy deal. According to the New York Post, “selected publishers met with Kennedy in Washington in September and were asked to give their assessments of what they could do by last Friday. The auction began Monday. “It should be over by [today],” said one source.” MORE »

Ted Kennedy will oppose Michael Mukasey’s nomination for Attorney General; Bush, McCain and Lindsey Graham support him; Harry Reid and Chuck Shumer are unsure. Why not waterboard them all? [MSNBC]

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Beloved Taxacusetts senator and last-surviving RFK/JFK brother Ted Kennedy is in the hospital today after doctors fixed a clogged artery in his neck. They successfully removed the Jameson bottle and now he’s “resting.” But what’s interesting is why he went to the doctor in the first place: The neck clog was found during an MRI to check on his wrecked back — Ted Kennedy barely survived a terrible plane crash in 1964, just a few months after John Kennedy’s assassination. MORE »

“‘As part of a routine evaluation of Senator Kennedy’s back and spine, MRI studies picked up an unrelated, asymptomatic blockage in the senator’s left carotid artery,’ said a statement from Kennedy’s Washington office. ‘This morning, Senator Kennedy underwent preventive surgery at Massachusetts General Hospital to remove the blockage.’” [WBZ-TV via Bostonist]

Maybe the oddest thing about this video of Ted Kennedy singing “We Are the World” with Marsha Blackburn, the dude from Big & Rich, and Quincy Jones is how he pulls the mic closer to himself so that we can all hear his patrician mumbling along with a song he doesn’t know particularly well. [WP]

Why is Ted Kennedy moving out of his Kalorama home? Seriously, we have no clue. SPECULATE WILDLY.

The great thing about this “blog revolution” is that anyone and everyone can have their voices heard. Even Jimmie “J.J.” Walker, who has a blog! Today, someone sent us Jimmie’s thoughts on Muslim congressman Keith Ellison (D-MN). Jimmie’s a little wary of this dangerous non-Christian lawmaking menace! MORE »

Actual official exchange between senators Ted Kennedy and Byron Dorgan, yesterday:

KENNEDY: “I would like the chicken pluckers to pay $10 or $15 an hour. They do not do it. They are not going to do it. Who are you trying to kid? Who is the Senator from North Dakota trying to fool?” (Sen. Ted Kennedy, Congressional Record, S.6452, 05/22/07)

DORGAN: “Mr. President, let me stand up and say a word on behalf of chicken pluckers. I had no idea that was the debate. But they will never get $15 an hour as long as we bring in cheap labor through the back door to pluck chickens.” (Sen. Dorgan, Congressional Record, S.6452, 05/22/07)

There’s surely something going on here — we suspect it’s about paying people a decent wage for awful jobs like preparing the corpses of chickens for human consumption — but there’s also a pretty good chance they’re both insane. Dorgan, for example, seems to believe he is responding to President Bush and not Teddy Kennedy. (This is the same Byron Dorgan last seen threatening to personally kill all the prairie dogs.) Kennedy has apparently confused the laborers with the companies that sell chicken, and according to ABC News was also “red-faced and gesticulating toward Dorgan” and “continued to howl at Dorgan.” MORE »