ted kennedy
How Did We Respond To Attacks On US Diplomats Before Hillary Clinton Did Them All?
Your Wonkette was wondering: Prior to 9/11/12, when God and Hillary Clinton did 9/11 Classic to four Americans in Libya, a place of Muslims, was there anything? Here’s what we mean: Did history start on that date, or was there a bunch of stuff that “came before,” stuff like other terrorist attacks on US diplomatic [...]
Scott Brown Will Debate Elizabeth Warren, But There Better Be Some Goddamn Perrier In the Green Room
The Queen Mum of Massachusetts, Vicki Kennedy, has invited Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren to a senatorial debate at the Kennedy Institute in Boston, sponsored by MSNBC. Scott Brown thought about it a little before responding to ol’ Vick’s pleasantries with a rider: He’ll do it, but only if (a) no MSNBC cameras are within [...]
Oh, Look, Romney Attacked Kennedy’s Blind Trust During 1994 Senate Race
Mitt Romney, who was slightly more humanoid in 1994 than he is today, also thought blind trusts, of which he has one, and which he passionately defended during Thursday night’s Jacksonville debate, were terrible, devious things. How exactly did he put it? Oh yes, a blind trust is an “age-old ruse.”
Mitt Romney Admits He Isn’t Really Sure Why He’s Running for President
It seems reasonable to predict that about ninety-nine out of every hundred news analysis pieces about Mitt Romney from now until the general election are going to be making the argument that Mittens is a black hole for strongly-held convictions who appears to be running for office since it just sort of seems like the [...]
Bland Humanoid Romney Unsure Even of His Stance on Music He Likes
Here is some hilarious archaeological evidence of hair gel-powered mannequin Mitt Romney’s lifelong struggle to convey a basic sense of humanity courtesy of the year 1994 when he was campaigning for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat: an energetic high school nerd interviewer lets candidate Romney rattle off his talking points before asking him whether he likes [...]
Elizabeth Warren Hates ‘Job Creation’ For Sympathizing With Jobless
How do you prove you hate “job creation” in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The ad was created by Karl Rove’s anus Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies, some wingnut consulting firm that [...]
FBI File: Ted Kennedy Had Secret Sex Parties, Rented Out Brothel
Ted Kennedy is dead, so we are now able to look at his (albeit very redacted) FBI files to see some of the very Kennedy sorts of things he did over the years. For example: An ambassador’s ex-wife said he and his brothers had sex parties with Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Marilyn Monroe [...]
Jimmy Carter: Jimmy Carter Is The Best Ex-President Ever
America’s most adorable former President, Jimmy Carter, is making the teevee rounds today because he has a new book he wants to sell. But teevee production staffs do not mind all the work they’re going to have to do trying to get that old-peanut stench out of their couches, as Carter seems to have drunk [...]
Sure, Orrin Hatch Will Support That Mosque Thing
We all know that Orrin Hatch loves Judaism and singing about his favorite holiday, Hanukkah. But apparently he loves all other religions too. And thus he supports the rights of Muslims to build a community center in Manhattan, if they want to, he said in an interview with a Utah Fox affiliate. No biggie. “And [...]
Sharron Angle Believes There Are ‘Domestic Enemies’ In Congress
How did we miss this? Earlier in the week it was reported that Sharron Angle agreed in a 2009 interview that there are “domestic enemies” within the “walls of the Senate and the Congress.” Wow, Americans are really dumb! You want to kill the terrorists, you guys, not elect them to high office. Unsurprisingly, because [...]
SCOTT BROWN’S NIGHTMARE: Sexy Senator Scared of Rachel Maddow, Abandoned By Wingnuts
Scott Brown, remember that guy? He was the Naked Senator, the 41st Vote, the 57th state, all the teabagger dreams realized and brought to life in the handsome form of some hairy-bellied Golem from the pages of a 1980s issue of Cosmopolitan. It was as if he drove that dumb mini pickup straight out to [...]
Remembering This Historic Night, When The Naked Man Tried To Sell His Daughters
We assume that guest editor Josh Fruhlinger knew all along, ever since he wrote this post about some mean and very very naked state senator three years ago, that this same asshole would sooner or later win Ted Kennedy’s (and John F. Kennedy’s before him) Massachusetts Senate seat after the legend’s death, severely endangering the [...]
Liveblogging the Death of Socialism, Which Is Ted Kennedy’s Fault
Are you feeling nostalgic for Election Night 2008? This is almost exactly like that night, with a few small differences. For one, it’s again illegal to be black in America, so go back to Socialism-land, Rahm! Also, Andrew Sullivan may move back to Canada, he’s so bummed. There’s also a very good chance the beloved [...]
Democrats Bring Out All The Stops In Blitz For Coakley
Hey, does anyone know anything about this Martha Coakley lady? Well in that case, here’s our campaign strategy: KENNEDY KENNEDY KENNEDY TED KENNEDY TED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDYTED KENNEDY TED KENNEDY. Then say “Swift Boat!” too, because that’s what they did to dead KENNEDYTED back in aught-four. It was terrible! [DSCC]
If Only Ted Kennedy And John McCain Had Written This Health Care Bill!
President Walnuts does not think that dead Ted Kennedy likes this Senate health care bill very much — not because of the bill, just because it’s so partisan. Yep, that does suck. It’s what happens when the other party doesn’t negotiate in good faith, or is just retarded. Why is John McCain being so mean [...]
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