Tag: ted kennedy

Now Ted Cruz Fancies Himself A Kennedy, Like John Or Paul Or Ringo Maybe

Ted Cruz believes he is many things: the reincarnation of Ronald Reagan; spokesman for Israel and all the Jewishes; an Ivy League-trained master debater genius wunderkind; and Jesus Christ hisself. Now he's adding Great Conservative Republican Hero John (?) Kennedy to...

Elizabeth Warren Talks Black Lives Matter, And It Is Awesome. You Click Now!

Greetings and salutations, dirty hippie commie liberal arugula pumpkin spice latte-sippers of America. Have you been going through E-Dub withdrawals because it been almost TWO WHOLE MONTHS since we showed you a video of Sen. Elizabeth Warren kicking all...
We still think he looks a little like Steve Carrell here

Beau Biden Dies At 46, Confirming Fundamental Injustice Of Universe Once Again

Beau Biden, former Delaware attorney general, Iraq War vet, and son of Old Handsome Joe Biden, died of brain cancer Saturday in Washington DC. He was only 46, and had announced in April 2014 that he planned to run...

How Did We Respond To Attacks On US Diplomats Before Hillary Clinton Did Them All?

Your Wonkette was wondering: Prior to 9/11/12, when God and Hillary Clinton did 9/11 Classic to four Americans in Libya, a place of Muslims, was there anything? Here's what we mean: Did history start on that date, or was...

Scott Brown Will Debate Elizabeth Warren, But There Better Be Some Goddamn Perrier In the Green Room

The Queen Mum of Massachusetts, Vicki Kennedy, has invited Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren to a senatorial debate at the Kennedy Institute in Boston, sponsored by MSNBC. Scott Brown thought about it a little before responding to ol' Vick's...

Oh, Look, Romney Attacked Kennedy’s Blind Trust During 1994 Senate Race

Mitt Romney, who was slightly more humanoid in 1994 than he is today, also thought blind trusts, of which he has one, and which he passionately defended during Thursday night's Jacksonville debate, were terrible, devious things. How exactly did...

Mitt Romney Admits He Isn’t Really Sure Why He’s Running for President

It seems reasonable to predict that about ninety-nine out of every hundred news analysis pieces about Mitt Romney from now until the general election are going to be making the argument that Mittens is a black hole for strongly-held...

Bland Humanoid Romney Unsure Even of His Stance on Music He Likes

Here is some hilarious archaeological evidence of hair gel-powered mannequin Mitt Romney's lifelong struggle to convey a basic sense of humanity courtesy of the year 1994 when he was campaigning for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat: an energetic high...

Elizabeth Warren Hates ‘Job Creation’ For Sympathizing With Jobless

How do you prove you hate "job creation" in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The...

FBI File: Ted Kennedy Had Secret Sex Parties, Rented Out Brothel

Ted Kennedy is dead, so we are now able to look at his (albeit very redacted) FBI files to see some of the very Kennedy sorts of things he did over the years. For example: An ambassador's ex-wife said...

Jimmy Carter: Jimmy Carter Is The Best Ex-President Ever

America's most adorable former President, Jimmy Carter, is making the teevee rounds today because he has a new book he wants to sell. But teevee production staffs do not mind all the work they're going to have to do...

Sure, Orrin Hatch Will Support That Mosque Thing

We all know that Orrin Hatch loves Judaism and singing about his favorite holiday, Hanukkah. But apparently he loves all other religions too. And thus he supports the rights of Muslims to build a community center in Manhattan, if...

Sharron Angle Believes There Are ‘Domestic Enemies’ In Congress

How did we miss this? Earlier in the week it was reported that Sharron Angle agreed in a 2009 interview that there are "domestic enemies" within the "walls of the Senate and the Congress." Wow, Americans are really dumb!...

SCOTT BROWN’S NIGHTMARE: Sexy Senator Scared of Rachel Maddow, Abandoned By Wingnuts

Scott Brown, remember that guy? He was the Naked Senator, the 41st Vote, the 57th state, all the teabagger dreams realized and brought to life in the handsome form of some hairy-bellied Golem from the pages of a 1980s...

Remembering This Historic Night, When The Naked Man Tried To Sell His Daughters

We assume that guest editor Josh Fruhlinger knew all along, ever since he wrote this post about some mean and very very naked state senator three years ago, that this same asshole would sooner or later win Ted Kennedy's...

Liveblogging the Death of Socialism, Which Is Ted Kennedy’s Fault

Are you feeling nostalgic for Election Night 2008? This is almost exactly like that night, with a few small differences. For one, it's again illegal to be black in America, so go back to Socialism-land, Rahm! Also, Andrew Sullivan...