ted cruz

As political satirical fun time bloggers, we applaud the new ease with which any candidate anywhere can make themselves a YouTube and spit out a campaign ad, because that really has been comedy gold for us over the past few years. Even the big folks have used YouTube to get weird, like Ted Cruz with […]

There’s rarely a chance for us to say this, so please savor the moment: We have good news out of Texas, where prosecutors dismissed a stupid case against Battleground Texas, a liberal group trying to persuade Texans to stop voting for idiots, which was brought about when known ass-clown and rightwing sockpuppet James O’Keefe lied […]

Ted Cruz wanted evidence of the popular disgust and anger against Obamacare that he’s sure most Americans feel, so he posted a simple question to his FacesPlaces pages last week: Quick poll: Obamacare was signed into law four years ago yesterday. Are you better off now than you were then? Comment with YES or NO! […]

Just in case you were worried that we hadn’t heard enough stupid ideas from the Git Tuff On Roosha wing of the GOP, Ted Cruz weighed in Monday with his own suggestions for what could be done about Russia’s invasion of Crimea: Instead of just imposing wimpy mom-jean sanctions on Russia, how about going full […]

Ted Cruz has had a bumpy week. First, his high-profile conference-opening speech at CPAC was delivered to a sparsely populated ballroom since many people, media and regular, were still trying to get through the epic check-in lines. A couple of days later, he got a meager 11 percent in the conference’s presidential straw poll, dwarfed […]

This amazing document was authored by Senator Rand Paul’s guy who does these for him and comes to us via POLITICO, whom we’ll discuss in a minute. What we have here is, in our experience, unprecedented. Rand Paul’s guy has not just broken the Reagan barrier but shattered it: In a 699 word op-ed nominally […]

In a result that no one could possibly have predicted, it appears that with three weeks left during the open-enrollment period, Obamacare has already resulted in a reduction in the percentage of Americans who lack health insurance. The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, released Monday, found that 15.9 percent of U.S. adults are uninsured thus far in […]

Hello! Still bleary-eyed from losing that hour of sleep? Us too! We’re going to blame that for any missteps in this week’s Sunday Times roundup. First off, of course, is the big exciting political news that beloved conervative bullyboy icon Rand Paul won the CPAC straw poll, which means soon he will be your president, […]

The Tea Party finally noticed that it turned five like a week and a half ago, so what could these insurgent grassroots heartland Willy Lomans do but get together with a bunch of Senators and millionaires in Washington DC to celebrate? Michelle Cottle of the Daily Beast was there, gulping the very same air as […]

So Ted Nugent. We have discussed him and his real purty mouth. (He called Barack Obama a chimpanzee and subhuman mongrel, which didn’t even crack that day’s purty-things Top 10, probably.) The Texas Attorney General, Greg Abbott, who is running against Wendy Davis for Texas Gub, campaigned with the Nugemonster the other day, and then […]

In a development that will shut up exactly no one, the Republicans on the House Armed Services Committee released a report on BENGHAAAAAAZI!!! knocking down yet another conspiracy-theory talking point: that on the night of the attack U.S. military forces were given an order to “stand down,” thus preventing them from rushing headlong into the […]

Oh ladies. If the GOP isn’t insulting your intellectual capacity, demanding you be submissive, or trying to keep your libido in check (because you are all raging fuckmonsters), then they are desperately wooing you for your votes. Their latest attempt to distract from their 1930-era policies is to scrounge around and find a GEN-YOU-INE lady […]

Do you live in Texas? Are you a dick? Then you probably thought this Fox News guest and Pajamas Media blogger, Bill Whittle, was pretty freakin’ hi-larious when he told the folks at a Ted Cruz rally Saturday that it is time to murder all the people from California! All the people in the audience […]