NEW YORKER STAFFERS QUITE FAMILIAR WITH EXCLUSIVE NEIGHBORHOOD OF MARK SANFORD’S MISTRESS: Sparkin’ Sanford’s Buenos Aires’ pied-à-terre is in a rather lovely area where the better people congregate. “The well-kept doorman buildings feature underground parking garages and balconies. It’s winter now in Argentina, but in summer you can smell the animals in the zoo across the street from my grandfather’s balcony—and from Maria’s place as well, no doubt. Guido’s bar and restaurant at 2843 is probably the street’s most iconic feature, a quirky Italian place with no actual menu, where you are at the mercy of your waiter. The surrounding neighborhood, Palermo, is a fashionable residential neighborhood featuring a large namesake park, a major shopping district, bars and restaurants. We’ve yet to find out much about Sanford’s mistress, but the charms of her neighborhood are obvious.” [New Yorker]

Oh, America, what will we do without our Long National Election Nightmare? We’ll do what we always do: Gossip, “scoops,” Joe Biden gaffes, etc. Joe Lieberman! That will be funny, whatever happens to old anus-face. And we’ve already lost so many seemingly irreplaceable human jokes, and it turned out that they were all immediately forgettable, too: Drunken Jenna & Barbara, Krazy Katherine Harris, folksy moron “Hollywood Fred” Thompson, rat-faced fascist Rudy Giuliani in his ladies’ clothes, gay instant-message masturbator Mark Foley, all the hilarious racists such as Jesse Helms and Zell Miller and Trent Lott, etc. So we’ll soon forget all the dumb-ass attention whores who amused us this year, too. Let’s start saying good-bye, together. MORE »