Your editor was just reading (re-reading, actually) John Steinbeck’s humorous snapshot of America in 1960, Travels With Charley. When your editor’s lunch (beer) was done, the bookmark was placed between pages 110 and 111 of the Penguin “Steinbeck Centennial Edition,” about how simple folk needed their two things to hate. MORE »

If getting double-teamed by James Carville and Paul Begala is not your “cup of tea bags,” then head on over to the eBay and have your credit card ready! Glenn Beck, dough-head wingnut star of Fox TeeVee’s Goin’ Nuts Again with Glenn Beck, is selling his puffy body and all its orifices, on eBay! For one glorious day, you can do whatever you want to Glenn Beck! We bet it’s for some weird cause like preventing gay marriage. You don’t have to marry him, jeez! Just do whatever you like. Put him on a dog leash, cum in his ears, re-enact that Two Girls, One Cup youtube, whatever. It’s your day. It’s your Glenn Beck. (Probably not legal to kill him, although who knows what the laws are in New York City, the way they are waging a campaign of brutality against Rush Limbaugh and all that.) [Teablogging.net/eBay]

Magic prize goes to anybody who can figure out what these people are even protesting.

Blogger Interrupted keeps going to wingnut events — Sarah Palin klan rallies, teabagging gatherings, etc. — and then the wingnuts complain that he made them look bad, because they stood there jabbering to somebody pointing a video camers at them, and whoops, they look like exactly what they are — ignorant racist tools — on the Internets! It’s probably the editing of the video, right? Right? [Blogger Interrupted]

LIKE TEABAGGING A BEANIE BABY: “About these Obama Haters. They are apparently led by the CNN star Glenn Beck. I have not heard of him, but my tastes run more toward the BBC. His gimmick, they say, is to imitate the character from the classic 1970s comedy Network. If so, good for him and kudos on his success. But does he base his shtick on unsavory recollections of our shameful national past?” [AOL Political Machine]

Having successfully completed a hilarious stack of FAIL on Tax Day, the Teabagging Cultists will next flap their testicles against the mouth of 9/11, our nation’s most holy day of remembrance. Just six months or so from right now, the fantastic teabagging momentum will strike again, as America sheds its tears over the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the places wingnuts and teabaggers hate most: Washington DC and New York City. MORE »

The important conservative political philosophy bloggers at Power Line WON THE MORNING Saturday by writing a pornographic blog post about the sexual meaning of “teabagging,” which their fathers perhaps had taught them the night before. One writes, “What we’re seeing here is the ascendancy of the Low-Life Left. Vulgar, ignorant, profane and abusive, it started on the internet at sites like Daily Kos, Democratic Underground and Wonkette. Discourse at sites like these abandoned all traditional norms of political conversation.” Bah! And now that smut has made its way onto liberal cable news television outlets like MSNBC and CNN! Which leads another writer to conjecture that this sexual act is something invented by 2.5 homosexuals — Rachel Maddow, Andrew Sullivan, and Anderson Cooper — because you know how mean they are. MORE »

• COMMENCE ‘CRYPTIC PHONE DRIVE-BYS IN HIPPIE COMMUNES’ PHASE OF TEABAGGING REVOLUTION: Left-wing communist and likely herbivore “CB” writes: “I know this is only a minor event, especially because I’m sure millions of people got this phone call. But I need to vent. Yesterday I got a call, and a friendly male voice recording informed me about the ‘Teabag Movement’ going on an advised me to ‘Please take note.’ Thanks to wonderful Wonkette, I am fully informed about this lame-ass ‘movement.’ I’m in Berkeley, for f…s sake. What are they thinking?” Hmm. Must be the teabagger perv-bot’s fetish. Like in that movie where Philip Seymour Hoffman’s character calls random ladies in the phone book and shouts nonsense while violently masturbating.

By the Comics CurmudgeonWhat is the single most important event to have occurred in recent U.S. political history? If you said “the election of our first black president” or “the financial crisis and the associated large-scale government intervention in the financial markets” or “the various wars” you would be WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. No, the watershed moment in our current political life came earlier this week, when a bunch of jackasses protested a tax increase that won’t happen for years and will happen to other people when it does by aimlessly waving teabags at their elected representatives, or, when those representatives could not be located, at baffled passersby. Did any of America’s unrepentantly liberal elitist political cartoonists dare to draw cartoons that presented these so-called “teabaggers” as the heroes that they are, or at least acknowledge their existence? MORE »

Why are the wingnuts so obsessed with poop and ass and “prix” and Barney Frank performing medical procedures on their anuses? Here’s old Sour Betsy at some dingbat teabagging fail or another, yesterday, proclaiming to the world that she is, in fact, a piece of shit. Thanks to our pal BlueGal for the horror.

A very smart eunuch has taken to the Internet to demonstrate, with his own two hands, how the various — well, just “two,” because binary thinking has its limits! — interpretations of tea protests “explain the difference between the anti-American left and the rest of America.” Mr. Person writes, “As it happens, when talking to an engaged, informed, and patriotic American, when a tea party is discussed the images of Boston Harbor, taxes and American history immediately come to mind. A true American automatically thinks of the American Revolution, the birth of our nation and that proud tradition of self-reliance and rugged individualism infused into our country by its founders. The words invoke the entire panoply of America in the minds of real Americans everywhere. Then we come to the left. Apparently, the first thing that comes to their ‘minds’ is some arcane, disgusting sexual perversion and not American history and tradition.” MORE »