teabaggers
Get Your Hot Fresh Electoral Primary Derp!
Thanks to Snipy staying up late so we could post the results of the one election yesterday that everyone was following (Mississippi: the Old Guy won, the other asshole lost), we are left with tidying up the electoral crumbs from around our great nation. Of course, Chris McDaniel is still making grumpy whining noises about […]
Be A Fashion Do With This Sexy Stylish Ayn Randian Teabag-Wear From Sears!
Wonket operative “Chris” sends us this super-sexxxy Teabagwear from Sears, which is funny because the reclusive hedge fund billionaire shotcaller of Sears, Eddie Lampert, is sort of an “ineptocracy guy” his own bad self! (IT’S CALLED IRONY, MOTHERFUCKERS.) For those of you who can’t read Teabag, we transcribed it: A system of government where the […]
Mississippi Teabagger Candidate’s Aide Had Excellent Reason For Getting Locked In Courthouse With Ballots, We Bet
Let’s be absolutely clear about this: there is NO REASON to think that the three people who got locked into the Hinds County Courthouse in Jackson, Mississippi were doing anything nefarious. They just happened to accidentally get stuck in the closed courthouse after midnight on the night that ballots were being counted in the Thad […]
Mississippi Republicans Choose Between Thad Cochran Or The Other A**hole
It’s Primary Day in Mississippi, time to see whether the Republican candidate for Senate will be Aging Conservadick Thad Cochran, or Tea Party/Neo-Confederate Superdick Chris McDaniel. Will it be the Establishement or the Tea Party? The maybe-adulterer or the probable-ratfucker? We are going to try not to get too worked up over this one, but […]
Florida Congressnut Ted Yoho: Let’s Not Rush To Judgment On Constitutionality Of 50-Year-Old Civil Rights Act
Now look, maybe you commie hippies think that the Civil Rights Act was a pretty good idea. It was was signed into law 50 years ago, George Bush celebrated its anniversary last week with a Lyndon Johnsonesque dick joke and all. But have you given any thought to whether it’s actually legal? Freshman Florida congressbagger […]
Wisconsin Republicans Will Vote On The State Maybe Seceding, Because They Love America
Wisconsin tabaggers don’t want to alarm anyone, they just believe in being prepared, is all, which is why they want the state to be ready to secede from the union. Not that they think they’ll really need to. So when the state’s Republican convention rolls around in May, there will be a resolution on the […]
Arizona Tea Party Lady Shocked By Parallels Between Bundy Ranch, Tiananmen Square
Today’s winner of the “At Least You Didn’t Say Hitler” award goes to Arizona state Rep. Kelly Townsend, who said she was shocked to see video of police using a stun gun on one of the sons of Hero Nevada Scofflaw Cliven Bundy. How upsetting was the video, exactly? “Watching that video last night created […]
Kentucky Senate Candidate Matt Bevin Accidentally Thinks Chicken Boxing Is Awesome States’ Rights Issue
Look, don’t go getting any funny ideas about Mitch McConnell’s teabagging primary opponent Matt Bevin being a supporter of cockfighting just because he gave a speech to a pro-cockfighting rally. All he saw on his schedule last Saturday morning was that he was speaking to a “States rights rally,” although maybe all the feathers and […]
Colorado Town Votes To Not Issue Drone-Hunting Licenses; Freedom May Survive Anyway
Last July, we told you about the fun idea proposed by the town of Deer Trail, Colorado, (population 546): sell novelty “drone hunting licenses” that would promise a bounty to anyone who brought down a federally-owned unmanned aerial vehicle. You know, for a laugh, and to raise money for the town, and to send the […]
Mitch McConnell Will Crush His Tea Party Enemies, Grind Their Bones Into Dust
Once upon a time, Republicans looooooooved the Tea Party. No, it’s true. The Tea Party was this great “independent” uprising of really Republican Republicans who were SO mad that they’d been Taxed Enough Already (translation: super pissed there was a black guy squatting in the White House), and Republicans would ride the wave of tinfoil-hatted […]
Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Grab-Bag Of Grotesqueries
Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your […]
The Debt Ceiling: Is Michele Bachmann Taking Jan Brewer’s Meds?
Could it be that Michele Bachmann has been visiting Jan Brewer’s medicine cabinet? As we noted in our year-end review, the Arizona governor actually said and did some pretty sane stuff in the last year; now it almost looks as if several other prominent teabaggers are engaged in similar flirtations with reality. Just look at […]
