teabaggers
Mitch McConnell Will Crush His Tea Party Enemies, Grind Their Bones Into Dust
Once upon a time, Republicans looooooooved the Tea Party. No, it’s true. The Tea Party was this great “independent” uprising of really Republican Republicans who were SO mad that they’d been Taxed Enough Already (translation: super pissed there was a black guy squatting in the White House), and Republicans would ride the wave of tinfoil-hatted […]
Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Grab-Bag Of Grotesqueries
Welcome, kids, to Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we give our browser tabs a Silkwood shower, then inspect the drains for stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not enough to hang a full blog post on. We recommend that you apply the mood-altering substance equivalent of a wire brush to your […]
The Debt Ceiling: Is Michele Bachmann Taking Jan Brewer’s Meds?
Could it be that Michele Bachmann has been visiting Jan Brewer’s medicine cabinet? As we noted in our year-end review, the Arizona governor actually said and did some pretty sane stuff in the last year; now it almost looks as if several other prominent teabaggers are engaged in similar flirtations with reality. Just look at […]
Sorry, Mr. Limbaugh, Thanksgiving Has Never Been A Celebration Of The Pilgrims’ Triumph Over Socialism
It’s Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It’s an opportunity to pound home a political lesson about why We Are Good and They Are Bad. It’s a revered grim tradition: You […]
Marco Rubio Fights To End Tea Party Migration To Other 2016 Candidates
Faced with a massive wave of Tea Partiers fleeing from his 2016 presidential hopes because of his support for comprehensive immigration reform, Florida Senator Marco Rubio is doing what he can to build a higher wall against further progress on fixing America’s broken immigration system. It is not known whether his new opposition to immigration […]
Texas Lt Gov Candidate Rejects Secession. Instead, Let’s Kick Out All The Liberal States.
You have to admire the creative thinking of Texas candidate for Lieutenant Governor Jerry Patterson. He doesn’t want Texas to secede from the United States; that’d be dumb. He loves Real America. Instead, how about we get rid of the states what Hate America? “I get lots of questions all the time, ‘Well, we should secede.’ I […]
New Jersey Senate Loser Steve Lonegan Would Have Won If It Weren’t For That Darn Government Shutdown
There’s a very simple explanation for why Steve Lonegan lost last week’s special election for U.S. Senate to Cory Booker: The government shutdown. OK, that, and Lonegan’s being a loathsome asshat, maybe. But mostly the government shutdown, Lonegan told the Star-Ledger in an interview published Monday: “There is no doubt in my mind or in […]
States Paying To Re-Open National Parks Wish Feds Would Bring All That Oppressive Money Back
As we mentioned yesterday, the cognitive dissonance around the defunding of government has been pretty strong these last couple of weeks. The fairly basic notion that if you vote to not fund a government service, that service goes away seems to mystify some folks on the right, who have decided that the shutdown of national […]
Organizers Of ‘Million’ Vet March On DC Memorial Shocked — Shocked! — It Turned ‘Political’
For some darn reason, the organizers of the “Million Vet March on the Memorials” are suddenly distancing themselves from the fine people who showed up in DC over the weekend to tear down the barriers around the WWII Memorial and demand the impeachment of Fake Preznit Obama. On their homepage and their FacePlaceSpace page, the […]
After Awesome Rally, Teabaggers Winning Shutdown Showdown, Say Teabaggers
Let us kick off this long week of resisting the urge to cock-punch every conservative within a thousand-mile-radius with a quick summary of the absurd sights in our fair nation’s capital city on Sunday, where hundreds of dipwads gathered at the World War II memorial to protest it being closed due to a government shutdown […]
Elected Teabaggers Astonished That Not Everyone Loves Teabaggers
Why, sure, Washington Post, we’d love to read a political trends think-piece! Whatcha got? Oh, Tea Partiers who were elected in 2010 are starting to see some pushback in their home districts? OK, sure, we’ll read that! Please tell us that people are getting tired of their antics, will you? For instance, maybe you could […]
Mitch McConnell’s Hero GOP Challenger Will Protect Your Constitutional Right To Beat Your Wife
Matt Bevin seems like a real nice guy. A graduate of MIT – except that he isn’t but whatev, that’s just, like, semantics, man — he is challenging Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell from the teabag wing of the Republican Party because he thinks McConnell is a giant vagina of “empty rhetoric” for not already shutting down […]
Deleted Comments of The Day: How Many Stereotypes Can You Fit Into One Paragraph?
by Doktor Zoom
Sometimes when we open up the ol’ comment queue, that limbo where new would-be Wonketteers must first prove they are neither spam nor complete teabagging idiots, we feel like the Medieval Marxist’s wife: “Oooh, Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down ‘ere!” And so it was with two messages from “JustinHuman,” who just wanted us to […]