Magic prize goes to anybody who can figure out what these people are even protesting.

Having successfully completed a hilarious stack of FAIL on Tax Day, the Teabagging Cultists will next flap their testicles against the mouth of 9/11, our nation’s most holy day of remembrance. Just six months or so from right now, the fantastic teabagging momentum will strike again, as America sheds its tears over the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 attacks on the places wingnuts and teabaggers hate most: Washington DC and New York City. MORE »

Why are the wingnuts so obsessed with poop and ass and “prix” and Barney Frank performing medical procedures on their anuses? Here’s old Sour Betsy at some dingbat teabagging fail or another, yesterday, proclaiming to the world that she is, in fact, a piece of shit. Thanks to our pal BlueGal for the horror.

Wonkette operative/Capitol Spy “Valkyrie” sends this chilling report: “Just saw Capitol Hill police officers surrounding a guy and checking inside his metal basket cart. As I passed by, I looked inside, and the cart was filled with confiscated tea bags in little evidence bags, and the police officers were taking their pick. Fat cats.” Thanks, teabaggers, for providing our nation’s Capitol Cops with a selection of tasty herbal teas!

You sure look proud, you swollen little vulgarian. We liked conservatives a lot better when they went to church and didn’t walk around in public flashing cartoon porn at everybody. Enjoy your life on welfare! [via Rumproast]

THE SADDEST LIL’ TEA PARTY PROTEST: “Joanne Millard, 68, a resident at Riverfront Apartments, slipped on a rock and then fell into the water while dumping tea leaves from a plastic bag into the river to protest the recent trillions of dollars in government spending.” Thanks to tipster “Mike W.” for this story that kind of makes us want to cry. [The Daily Item]

What’s that old saying about the guys who hate the gays so much? Something like “the intensity of your closet homosexuality equals the intensity of your homophobia.” MORE »

Look at this magical furry version of Ron Paul at the Boston teabagging parade! Listen to this incredible live radio Tea Party while you browse the Internets! Wow wow wow! Photo by Garrett M. Quinn.

Wonkette operative “Laura” sends this cell-phone shot from the High Desert stucco ghetto of Victorville, California. This is one of the lamest fucking places in America, the fat diabetic heart of the housing collapse, basically everyone is on the dole — military pension, social security, disability, etc. — so of course it’s hard-core wingnut land. This is the kind of place where you see new Ron Paul 2008 posters stapled up on the phone poles to replace the ones that blew away. The signs these teabaggers are waving say “HONK IF YOU LOVE COCK.”

We saw this about an hour ago and OMFG these people are actual dangerous insane freaks who should be rounded up and buried alive at the landfill. [CNN/YouTube]

Brave Wonkette operative Matt Singerman is — and we say this with complete accuracy — just cold taking pictures of a handful of ill-informed dingbats wandering around in the freezing rain with their droopy signs about … well, take your pick, really. Remember when libtards were the ones who held the goofball million-cause marches? Well, now it’s the wingnuts’ turn, and they sure bring a new flavor to the proceedings. Mmm, tastes like racism! MORE »