Tag Archives: tea parties

  tyranny!

GEICO Voice Dropped After Simply Asking FreedomWorks A Question About Their Retards

We had not heard about this! Has “other we” (Ken Layne) brought it up? Not enough time to look through the archives, COPY-PASTE: “Actor Lance Baxter, otherwise known as ‘D.C. Douglas,’ currently known as the man who informs you how much Geico can save you on car insurance, left a message last month with FreedomWorks in which he asked the group how many ‘mentally retarded’ people it had on staff and what it would do when a tea partyer ‘killed someone.'” Read more on GEICO Voice Dropped After Simply Asking FreedomWorks A Question About Their Retards…
  cut mah taxis

JUST A REMINDER FOR THE TAX DAY TEA PARTIERS! Let’s drag out the olllllll’ “meaningful fact” argument again: “Recent polling shows that most people believe President Obama has either left taxes the same for this past year or actually raised them. The truth could not be more different. The President cut taxes for 98 percent of working people in 2009. Read our fact sheet for details. You can also click on your state below to see how working families in your state benefit from the tax cuts signed into law by President Obama.” [Citizens For Tax Justice] Read more on …
  is this the peggy noonan write-up?

British Tea Party To Launch With Protestations, Crumpets, Wickets, Crickets And Figs!

Good Friday-time, colonies! England, Land of Kings, would like to participate in what shallst now be titled, Thine Gloubal Tea Party Ninny Knickers Movement. The British Tea Party component shallst launch its first Proutestation this Saturday, and shallst be led by Sir Telegraph Writer Human Daniel Hannan, a “British fiscal conservative.” Actual tea shallst be there, unless certain Bostonian riff-raffs, wooled in uncouth Savage Knickers, destroy their tea again. Read more on British Tea Party To Launch With Protestations, Crumpets, Wickets, Crickets And Figs!…
  america's poll

Fox News Poll: Yes, We Are Insanely Racist Crazy People

Another lovely Fox News poll. What is this about “fruitless” though? Racism and conspiracy theories have put the Republicans in great shape for 2010. If that’s “fruitless,” then consider these teabaggers fruity. [Fox News] Read more on Fox News Poll: Yes, We Are Insanely Racist Crazy People…
  rumors on the internets

Will 2010 Be Moist Enough For Jonah Goldberg?

It is now fairly evident that “giving up paint-huffing” was not Erick Erickson’s New Year’s resolution. [RedState] The libertarians seized power while you were foolishly slumbering with visions of sugar-plums dancing in your head. And now there is no sugar-plum tax? [Hit & Run] Read more on Will 2010 Be Moist Enough For Jonah Goldberg?…
  oh boy

It’s 2010’s Hottest Tea Party Leader, Dale Robertson!

“Dale Robertson, a Tea Party activist who operates TeaParty.org, is getting stung for an old photo — taken at the Feb. 27, 2009 Tea Party in Houston — in which he holds a sign reading ‘Congress = Slaveowner, Taxpayer = Niggar.’ After the ResistNet listerv promoted ‘Liberty Concerts’ to be held by TeaParty.org, a source passed on this photo of Robertson…” WHAT? IT’S JUST AN EXPRESSION. (Keep in mind that the president of TeaParty.org, which will put on this year’s ‘Freedom Concerts,’ would be essentially the most important figure on the American Right.) [Washington Independent] Read more on It’s 2010’s Hottest Tea Party Leader, Dale Robertson!…
  wusses

Tea Partiers Reconsider Burning Effigies Of House Speaker And Moderate Congressman

The organizers of the upcoming Danville TEAParty in Virginia were surprised that their plan to burn life-size effigies of both the Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi, and a moderate freshman congressman, Democrat Tom Perriello, in a massive bonfire, replete (presumably) with half-and-half cocktails of Everclear and lighter fluid, drew some attention in the Liberal Media. They are now reconsidering their protest options. Read more on Tea Partiers Reconsider Burning Effigies Of House Speaker And Moderate Congressman…
  divine intervention

God Told Joe The Plunger Not To Run For Office

Hmm. So maybe there is one of those “God” things after all? When asked if he’d run for political office, unlicensed handyman and Constitutional originalist Joe Wurzelbacher said, “I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, ‘No.'” Joe will be in Austin on July 3 to celebrate the day our anti-Communist Founding Fathers signed the Book of Mormon, which explicitly forbids taxation. Everyone’s invited! [WND via Think Progress] Read more on God Told Joe The Plunger Not To Run For Office…
  we'll build that border fence now

Texas Secession Movement Gaining Momentum, With the Rest of America

Fine, Austin is “okay.” And lightly populated West Texas is very nice, what with Big Bend National Park and the Mexican town of El Paso and whatever, as it’s really part of the Southwest. But Texas, that dipshit dismal swamp between, oh, Dallas and Corpus Christi, where the vast majority of the Texans live? It’s just the fucking South. A dumb, toxic shithole that produces little more than incredible assholes, many of whom then insist on taking part in American life. The last “good” Texan in politics was LBJ, and he was a goddamned monster. So, here is the new commercial. Good-bye, Texas! Thanks for all the laffs. (You can take the rest of the South with you.) [YouTube via Wonkette Operative “TGM.”] Read more on Texas Secession Movement Gaining Momentum, With the Rest of America…
  wrong people on the internet

Liberal Perverts Know Nothing About American History Unless It Has To Do With Penises

A very smart eunuch has taken to the Internet to demonstrate, with his own two hands, how the various — well, just “two,” because binary thinking has its limits! — interpretations of tea protests “explain the difference between the anti-American left and the rest of America.” Mr. Person writes, “As it happens, when talking to an engaged, informed, and patriotic American, when a tea party is discussed the images of Boston Harbor, taxes and American history immediately come to mind. A true American automatically thinks of the American Revolution, the birth of our nation and that proud tradition of self-reliance and rugged individualism infused into our country by its founders. The words invoke the entire panoply of America in the minds of real Americans everywhere. Then we come to the left. Apparently, the first thing that comes to their ‘minds’ is some arcane, disgusting sexual perversion and not American history and tradition.” Read more on Liberal Perverts Know Nothing About American History Unless It Has To Do With Penises…
  so baller

Texas Should Definitely Secede

We feel somewhat guilty (not really, we are exhausted, jesus…) that we haven’t been able to thoroughly comb through the hundreds or thousands of photos you wonderful humans sent your Wonkette today, but this one DEMANDED immediate posting. “Taylor in Texas” writes: “Today has been a day of great hilarity, but not everything about it has been funny. There was a great tragedy at the Denton, Texas Teabagging party today. I took a picture of a cowboy riding a motorized plastic pig, and it turned out blurry!” It doesn’t matter! A foto of this caliber could be a four-pixel pink-and-sandstone blur, and it would still destroy. AND NEVER FORGET: Teablogging.net and Shorts× 3 have more, more, MORE. Read more on Texas Should Definitely Secede…
  more pulitzers plz

Your Wonkette Teabagging Tour, Part II

Before starting out on our latest miserable journey into this muddy Randian hell, may we just NOTE that we have noticed various folks on the Internet writing about how lame and trite certain blogs are for covering the Teabaggers only because of that silly sexual double entendre, which is now a dead joke. Indeed it is a dead joke! It’s been dead for weeks! (Although certain incidents do bring it new life every now and then.) But we would call them “Teabaggers” even without the sexual innuendo, because it is a hilarious movement based around tea bags, so yeah, “Teabaggers.” This is the Republican Party now! There is much more fuel to this thing than a simple sex joke that OMG old people don’t understand! Anyway… ha ha, testicles. Let’s look at some pictures of human testicles! Read more on Your Wonkette Teabagging Tour, Part II…
  where is our journalistic photography pulitzer?

Your Wonkette Teabagging Photo Tour, Part I

It is time. You must see what we have seen. There will be more, and they will be worse. This shitty, muddy, 500-person national protest with NO TEABAGS. Prepare to GO GALT. Read more on Your Wonkette Teabagging Photo Tour, Part I…
  important journalistic wonkette teabagging coverage

Liberal ‘IRONIC’ Hipster ACORNS Nearly Brawl With Local Oaf

We saw this tuxedoed pig-man belting his terrifying song about money outside the White House without knowing, say, what the hell was wrong with him. And then other non-tuxedoed protesters started yelling in his ear and telling him to shut up, so we just assumed that it was a microcosm of the considerably important ideological war between the Insanes and the AstroTurfs. But some lady later informed us that these tuxedoed pigs were “probably” secret ACORN agents, who, if you recall, make up Obama’s personal S.S. “hit squad.” They are employing the liberal tactic of Irony to show that the Tea Parties are just a corporate scam. Whatever. But they do have the cops in their back pocket! [YouTube] Read more on Liberal ‘IRONIC’ Hipster ACORNS Nearly Brawl With Local Oaf…
  wonkette goes to a tea party

We’re Back From D.C.’s ‘Flagship’ Tea Party, And… Yeah

Just an unbelievable amount of fail today. Pouring rain and NO tea bags to be seen whatsoever, save for this nice lady’s hat, which — to her credit — fairly accurately depicts the sexual act of teabagging. We’ll have many, many more pictures and videos from our terrifying sojourn to Lafayette Park coming up shortly, as well as important stories about ACORNs in tuxedos and how we inadvertently insulted the shit out of Fox News’ Griff Jenkins. What you need to do RIGHT NOW though is read this Washington Post story for *crucial* background information about the Root of All Fail. Read more on We’re Back From D.C.’s ‘Flagship’ Tea Party, And… Yeah…