Tag Archives: tbn

  the needle's eye

The Reverend Paul Crouch Riding That $49 Million Jetplane Straight To The Kingdom Of Heaven

The Reverend Paul Crouch has died. He was 79. He leaves his beloved wife, Jan, his beloved jet, his beloved pair of mansions in Newport Beach, California, and his beloved Trinity Broadcast Network, where the Reverend and the missus explained to their adoring audience the everlasting life that would be theirs if they just sent their pension checks to Jesus, c/o TBN. READ MORE Read more on The Reverend Paul Crouch Riding That $49 Million Jetplane Straight To The Kingdom Of Heaven…
  hey dad I'm in jail

Sunday Nice Time: TV Minister/Doctor Who Sold ‘Cancer Cure’ Of Suntan Lotion And Beef Flavoring Going To So Much Prison, Hooray!

Christine Daniel is a minister and doctor (although, not, to our knowledge, a realtor, dentist, or vampire hunter) who just wanted to help the world beat cancer! She did this by going on Trinity Broadcast Network and selling a mixture of suntan oil and beef flavoring. To people with cancer. As a cure. For cancer. Man, she may have outgrifted the Crouches! (For the lord, of course.) Now she is going to jail for 14 years, and having to give back $1.2 million (SADFACE!), just for murdering people! STOP INFRINGING CHRISTINE DANIEL’S RELIGIOUS FREEDOM TO KILL PEOPLE, NOBAMA!!!! Read more on Sunday Nice Time: TV Minister/Doctor Who Sold ‘Cancer Cure’ Of Suntan Lotion And Beef Flavoring Going To So Much Prison, Hooray!…
  all hail satan

Totally Great ‘The Bible’ Mini-Series Explains That Barack Obama Is The Debbil

Hey Hitler Channel watchers, did you tune into “The Bible” last night? No? We did not either, because Joel Osteen and Rick Warren and the Assemblies of God and the National Association of Evangelicals are not really our go-to guys on Jesus and stuff. (And also because we didn’t know it was on.) (And also also, because on Sunday nights we like to just get high.) (Did we say “Sunday nights”?) Jesus. Jesus was a cool guy! We have a friend in him, and et cetera! Did they even get to Jesus last night? Don’t know that either! But according to The Wik, last night’s episode focused on “Zedekiah, Nebuchadnezzar, Daniel, Jews return to Jerusalem.” Sounds riveting, dudes! But if we didn’t watch it, and you didn’t either, why are we talking about this exactly? Well, like it says in the headline: because “The Bible” explains that Barack Obama is actually Beelzebub! Read more on Totally Great ‘The Bible’ Mini-Series Explains That Barack Obama Is The Debbil…
  Bird is the Word

Caption Contest: What Is TBN Loon Paul Crouch Up To In Jerusalem?

So here is what is purportedly an undoctored photo of televangelist Paul “No, My Wife Jan is a Different Person From Tammy Faye Bakker” Crouch of Trinity Broadcast Network, giving the finger for some reason to his camera crew while he is on camera in Jerusalem. Or at least, that is what reliable reporter Gustavo Arellano of the OC Weekly says we are looking at here. Why is this news? It isn’t really, but there is never a reason NOT to run a hilarious photo of a Man O’ God flipping the bird, is there? Read more on Caption Contest: What Is TBN Loon Paul Crouch Up To In Jerusalem?…
  men of christ behaving badly

Televangelists Jan and Paul Crouch Live Like Jesus With $100,000 Motorhome For Their Dogs

Oh whoops, Trinity Broadcasting Network and superduper good Christians Jan and Paul Crouch are getting sued (again) and this time it involves a whistleblower who noticed things like their $50 million jet, the $100,000 motorhome for their dogs, and a whole bunch of fraudulent loans maybe? And then the whistleblower got fired from handling their books. And then the Crouches tried to claim the whistleblower was an embezzler, but haha the judge dismissed that, due to how it was probably total lies. Read more on Televangelists Jan and Paul Crouch Live Like Jesus With $100,000 Motorhome For Their Dogs…