Oh everybody was soooo excited that this New York guy, Tim “Timothy” Geithner, had deigned to be Barack Obama’s treasury secretary. But now it comes out that for several years he paid state and federal income taxes but no payroll taxes! Well, everybody knows that payroll taxes are just for poor people anyway. They’re not even “real” taxes. MORE »

HE MUST SACRIFICE THE MEXICAN AS PUNISHMENT.

…HE MUST ALSO EAT THE MEXICAN. [YouTube, AP]

• Some states, including some you might actually live in like New York, are trying to introduce an online sales tax to things like iTunes, Amazon, and pornography sites like “XX Factor” etc. [AMERICAblog]
• Obama will select a Columbia/Harvard pal of his, “Orange” Julius “Caesar” “Salad” Genachowski, to be the new chairman of the FCC. [The Caucus]
• George Bush is the most popular human of all time in Sudan, Israel, Georgia (the Georgia that did not actually elect him) and some other places. [Daily Beast]
• Dick Cheney will maybe write a book! One that will settle “a few scores.” What “scores” did he possibly leave unsettled, or alive? [Top of the Ticket]
• Mitt Romney would still like to be considered for the position of John McCain’s losing Vice President. [CNN Political Ticker]

Here’s jolly CNN anchor Rick Sanchez asking “Fast” Joe the Plumber a buncha questions he’s already been asked several times a day since he became the McCain campaign’s raison d’être. Talkin’ about taxes. Then, around 3:40, Sanchez abruptly lists every example of how Joe the Plumber is a lying fraud and a dick. He also makes fun of Joe for being poor on numerous occasions. MORE »

According to sources in the know, the governor of California is a very smart and capable politician who demonstrates a great ability to grasp complicated subjects and quickly boil them down to their fundamentals. He is also a pretty hilarious entertainer. For example! Yesterday at a McCain rally in Ohio he cracked a few jokes about Barack Obama’s skinny legs, and he made a better argument for John McCain’s tax policy than John McCain ever had. But the VERY BEST part came at the end. MORE »

SARAH THE MARXIST: She takes the oil companies’ hard-earned money and “redistributes” it to shiftless Alaskans! “[W]e’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs,” she told the elite socialist rag The New Yorker. That means every Alaskan gets $3,269 a year from the State, just for living and breathing on that lost and frigid tundra, and that is also why she is America’s most popular governor. Because she is a Communist. [The New Yorker]

With every Republican short of Roberta McCain endorsing Barack Obama, it only makes sense that somebody would try to dig up a Democrat voting for McCain (NO LIEBERMAN DOES NOT COUNT). And here it is, your token Democrat Wendy Button, writing in Evelyn Waugh’s Weblog Compendium of Critical Musings about how the Democratic party has abandoned her. She worked for John Edwards — a big fat libtard liberal with fancy ideas about how government should help people, and poor people shouldn’t be poor — and now, after the media made fun of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton, she will be voting for John McCain, because he has promised not to raise rich people’s taxes. Huh? On a side note, if this gal can get a job writing for three major Democratic presidential candidates, your Wonkette editors should get the fucking Nobel Prize for literature. [The Daily Beast]

In the tank ABC reporter Jake Tapper has spoken to a purportedly “well-respected” tax attorney who believes that Sarah Palin will have to declare that $150,000 worth of fancy convention clothes as income, because her excuse that they were “borrowed” from the RNC is kind of, well, wrong. MORE »

Everybody is very ANGRY with Sarah Palin for spending tens of thousands of hard-working Alaskans’ tax dollars flying her daughters to various conferences and putting them up at the Ritz and then saying they were there on “official duty” to cut ribbons and stuff. And yes, this is pretty fucking lame, particularly given that there are plenty of governors in America who do not drag their kids along to every association dinner they’re invited to and instead take advantage of a wonderful American invention called “the babysitter,” or even an old throwback called “a spouse.” But that’s not the real outrage! MORE »

Here’s Joe the Plumber on the teevee this morning with, uh, who is that, Diane Sawyer. Good Morning America. It turns out that Joe does not make $250,000 a year, or anywhere close to that, but he really does hate the idea of a progressive tax system! Do you think he knows that it EXISTS ALREADY? He wouldn’t like that Socialism none too much, mmhmm. Guy just really hates the money taxes, and that’s why he never pays them. [YouTube]

The McCain campaign has farted out this new ad which, impossibly enough, is the least offensive spot we’ve seen from Walnuts in a while. And yet, so offensive, still! He tells us that Barack Obama’s only solutions for the financial collapse are “talk and taxes.” His very next sentence is, “I’ll reform Wall Street and fix Washington” — two crisp, granular economic policy proposals to contrast Obama’s cerebral, tax-and-spend hippie blather. Finally, Walnuts says, “I’ve taken on tougher guys than this before.” What ever could that mean? [YouTube]