Newest Cabinet Nominee Also Has Tax Problems, Of Course
Wednesday, April 1st, 2009
Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius made Barack Obama’s short list for vice presidential candidates when it was thought he needed some ladies up in there, ladies besides the future Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. And boom just like that, “Kathleen Sebelius” was a household name! And then she spoke at the Democratic National Convention and everyone said, What a pleasant person, thank goodness she is not running for Veep as she is rather a dull public speaker. Then Obama nominated her to be the new Tom Daschle after the old Tom Daschle was revealed to be a tax cheat, and guess what? MORE »











Earlier today, while no one was caring, the Republican House leadership unveiled
Apparently there is a new political party organized around the insane rantings of the Prophet Rick Santelli, a non-bald Chicago floor-trading version of Joe the Plumber. The New American Tea Party may fill in the civic vacuum created by the collapse of the Paultard movement, as it combines a concern with fiscal responsibility, Liberty, and earnestly organizing demonstrations in DC. Are you free tomorrow around noon?
Oh dang there goes yet another candidate for President Obama’s cabinet, felled by a cloud of money-scandal! Sarah Palin would have made a wonderful Commerce Secretary — after all, she’s a Republican, and knows all about international trade after her clothes-buying tour of the People’s Republic of Manhattan. However, her prospects have been dashed on account of her owing TAXES TAXES TAXES on the per diem meal-and-incidental stipend she charged the state of Alaska while living in her Wasilla trash palace instead of the governor’s mansion in Juneau.
Yikes! Barack Obama might still like this guy for Health and Human Services, but somebody is out to get poor Tom Daschle, an innocent and honorable man who accidentally underpaid his taxes by a hundred thousand dollars and change. Two Democratic turncoats have been whispering in the ears of Politico reporters, to whom
Anybody who saw the Senate Minority Leader lose his seat in 2004 and then magically reappear in 2008 with a pair of snappy red glasses knows that Tom Daschle is a bit of a jackass. But little did we know he was a tax cheat who would blame his current woes on his accountant.
Financial wizard Timothy Geithner is thisclose to becoming our next President of Money, but two things stand in his way: he failed to file payroll taxes for a few years, and he hired a housekeeper who was a temporary space alien. One can’t do anything about his monster-changeling maid, as this is a common affliction of people who apply for fancy cabinet positions, but the tax thing obviously cannot stand. However, Senator Chuck Grassley — a veritable Republican, and thus a hater of all things tax-related — tried to help him out in a hearing today.