All Economists Despise ‘Gas Tax Holiday’, What With Its Hilarious Lack Of Logic
Wednesday, April 30th, 2008
Many of you may be aware that gas prices are rising about 20 cents a week, causing much despair among Average Americans. John McCain found the perfect anti-solution for this energy Depression, in which the price of crude oil is reaching $120 a barrel, in his hilarious tax plan (the other aspects of which include slashing corporate taxes from 35% to 25%, eliminating the alternative minimum tax entirely thus re-opening old loopholes for the wealthy, and making the Bush tax cuts permanent — all of which will be balanced by the elimination of like $200 million in earmarks). McCain proposes a “gas tax holiday” — a break from the current 18.4-cent gas tax between Memorial Day and Labor Day — and Hillary Clinton has announced she is all for it as well. Barack Obama isn’t. Every. Single. Economist. Agrees with Barack Obama — even the conservatives and Hillary’s favorite Paul Krugman! MORE »
Many of you may be aware that gas prices are rising about 20 cents a week, causing much despair among Average Americans. John McCain found the perfect anti-solution for this energy Depression, in which the price of crude oil is reaching $120 a barrel, in his hilarious tax plan (the other aspects of which include slashing corporate taxes from 35% to 25%, eliminating the alternative minimum tax entirely thus re-opening old loopholes for the wealthy, and making the Bush tax cuts permanent — all of which will be balanced by the elimination of like $200 million in earmarks). McCain proposes a “gas tax holiday” — a break from the current 18.4-cent gas tax between Memorial Day and Labor Day — and Hillary Clinton has announced she is all for it as well. Barack Obama isn’t. Every. Single. Economist. Agrees with Barack Obama — even the conservatives and Hillary’s favorite Paul Krugman! MORE »
RON PAUL MUST HELP BLACK VAMPIRE TAX HERO! The Feds threw the book at American cinema/tax hero Wesley Snipes! 
Movie hero Wesley Snipes is beloved by Americans for killing vampires and helping Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis colonize space planets for the American Dream, but now the Evil American Government is trying to destroy him for protecting your tax rights! The celebrity star is in Florida today so a federal court can sentence him for tax evasion. The feds want to put him in jail for three years! But 
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LOOK THE POST OFFICE IS REALLY CROWDED K? Anyway yes, “Mom,” taxes will be paid for your terrorist war against the Green Zone.
Pilar O’Leary, this magazine cover lady who was head of the Smithsonian’s Latino Center until resigning in February, was apparently in the midst of an ethics investigation at the time that found her wasting your taxpayer money (that you have to pay today ha ha!) on limos, fashion show tickets, five star hotels, concerts and “music award ceremony” FAVORS. According to a report released yesterday, “The investigation revealed that O’Leary has not always acted in the best interests of the Smithsonian… Her conduct has violated the basic ethical rules of the Institution.” The National Air an Space Museum is currently building a rocket to shoot O’Leary to Neptune. [
Today is Tax Day, which means a lot of liberals JUST LIKE YOU get to whine about how they are involuntarily funding the War when what they really hate is paying taxes, just like “ordinary Americans.” Join us in our tour of Daily Kos commenters yodelling like Libertarians about how much, and why, they hate taxes. 
The greatest American hero since forever, Sinbad, is actually a traitor to his country because he does not pay for it. If you’ll recall, he was the leading provocateur in 
Presidents and vice presidents file tax returns — they’re just like us! George and Laura Bush filed and guess how much they made in 2007? Just shy of a million! That’s not really so much money. Dick and Lynne Cheney easily beat the fake president’s adjusted gross income of $923,807. But by how much? 
A fantastic PR person writes to Wonkette: “To help brighten the moods of late-filers on Tax Day, April 15th, Coors Light is going to have 10 Silver Bullet Girls picket sign rallying at post offices in 13 markets to help turn Tax Day into National Venting Day. The picket signs will read ‘There’s a Better Way to Vent.’” By having sex with the Silver Bullet Girls? Ha ha, heterosexual female taxpayers will have to have sex with something else, or just drink.
Hillary Clinton is afraid that Americans are going to start prancing around in knee socks and filming radioactive giant lizard-based horror films, now that we are sinking into a “Japanese-style malaise.” But these terrible tragedies can be avoided if we resort to crazy nanny state policies like having the Federal Housing Administration purchase underwater mortgages. 