Wonkette

Cindy “Cougar” McCain said on this morning’s Today show that she will “never” release her tax returns, because she is “not the candidate.” No, but she has all of John McCain’s assets (and some more, hummina hummina hummina), and she lets him use her private jet all the time, and she has a very public position, and she steals pills from children which is a felony. [YouTube]

John McCain is now transparent, huzzah! Today he released his 2006-07 tax returns, and the poor Blue Collar couldn’t even top seven figures. He made about $419,000 in 2007, of which approximately $259,000 was taxable (the rest was hidden in Secret Offshore accounts knows as “charity”). Well how Common of him, not makin’ the big bucks like the elitist liberals. But wait, isn’t his trollop wife Cindy a superbillionaire corporate beer heiress? MORE »

The Clintons have finally leaked their tax returns to someone, namely Matt Drudge! Or he stole them! This is the biggest news since Vietnam and its war! ARE YOU FREAKING OUT ENOUGH? And here is what else Drudgey has: “2000-2007 Returns, Feds Taxes Paid: $33.7 million, Charity: $10.2 million.” DING DING DING DING DING etc.

UPDATE: More details, from the Hillary Clinton campaign themselves, after the jump, DING DING ding ding, ding ding… MORE »

Last night at 11:23, mean Hillary spokesman Phil Singer sent an e-mail to the Internet demanding Obama release his tax returns for back years, which is fair, since Hillary Clinton has yet to release anything about anything. At 11:25, the Obama wiseacres replied that Obama’s 2000-2006 returns are available on his website. You can download a PDF of them, but it is a 65-megabyte file and also SIX YEARS OF PREPPY’S BORING TAX RETURNS. Also, this is an image of an overweight kitty, because why not. [TPM Election Central]

HILLARY TO RELEASE FIRST LADY BUSINESS: Ooh look, Hillary Clinton is taking one small step in the name of Transparency! Tomorrow, the National Archives will finally release her First Lady schedules. Hey, it’s not tax returns, but we don’t want to get all “Ken Starr” and push too hard. [Marc Ambinder]

Earlier this afternoon, Dick Cheney and Lynne Cheney released their 2005 federal income tax return. It shows that the Cheneys were entitled to a refund of almost $2 million. So Cheney, who used to run this little mom-and-pop outfit called Halliburton, is still filthy stinking rich. MORE »