Tag Archives: tax cuts

  lol

Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody’s Been Waiting For

Not presidential material. Not Bobby Jindal either.
BREAKING NEWS! Gov. Bobby Jindal, who has basically ruined Louisiana, declared his candidacy for president of US America Wednesday afternoon, far too close to the city of New Orleans for anyone who actually loves that city. He had started off the week getting punched right in his junk by IBM, which had been nice enough to choose Baton Rouge for its new National Service Center. The company’s mood soured when Jindal decided he had to prove he was the gay-hatin’-est homophobe in all the land, by issuing an executive order giving Louisiana business owners the right to discriminate against gay people. That might work on the set of “Duck Dynasty,” but not in the grown-up world of big business. So IBM decided to cancel the big ribbon-cutting photo-op, the one Jindal could have used to show just how GOOD he’s been for Louisiana business. Read more on Bobby Jindal Is The Wingnut Presidential Candidate Nobody’s Been Waiting For…
  Republican math

Gov. Sam Brownback Only Raised Taxes On Poors, So It Doesn’t Count, Right?

Giggling about what an asshole he is.
You know that thing about how Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is the worst governor in the entire galaxy, and how he bankrupted Kansas with his fucked up tax cuts for the wealthy, but then Kansas voters reelected him because they’re idiots? And lately, he’s been doing everything he can to fuck the poors of his state right good (even though it costs the state millions), by making sure they don’t have equal access to education, and that they can only take $25 in EBT moneys from the ATM per day, paying an ATM fee each and every time? Well he’s been in quite a pickle because Kansas Ain’t Got No Money, and you can only suck off the teats of welfare queens so long, ’cause they ain’t got no money either, so he had to raise taxes, but not on the wealthy, oh no! The very thought of that makes him emotional. Read more on Gov. Sam Brownback Only Raised Taxes On Poors, So It Doesn’t Count, Right?…
  If I Had A Pony I'd Ride It On My Boat

Florida Tax Break For Fancy Yacht People Will Create All The Jobs, You Betcha

Probably not gonna qualify for the tax break
The Florida Legislature is doing its part to prove that tax cuts always equal jobs — like this brand new tax cut package that limits the amount of sales tax on yacht repairs over $1 million. No, that’s not on boats that cost more than a million, that’s boat repairs that cost more than a million bucks. It’s the Florida Legislature, doing what it does best: favors. Read more on Florida Tax Break For Fancy Yacht People Will Create All The Jobs, You Betcha…
  Way Down In The Hole

Rand Paul Can Fix Racism With Tax Cuts And More Republicans

We all put our pants on one leg at a time. Or not.
Rand Paul continued his mavericky streak of being the only Republican who wants to reach out to black voters — or at least wave his hand in their general direction — with a speech Tuesday to Republicans in Baltimore, in which he made a very sincere effort to sound like someone who’s been briefed on the concept of empathy. Read more on Rand Paul Can Fix Racism With Tax Cuts And More Republicans…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Sorry, Kansas, But Gov. Brownback Has To Spend All Your Money Stopping Bortions

Yes he still blows a lot, always will
Who is absolutely THE WORST Republican governor in U.S. America? Oh all of ’em, Katie? Correct! But Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback is trying super hard to be even more THE WORST than all the others combined. As if it weren’t bad enough that he bankrupted the state with tax cuts for the rich that work as well as unicorn farts, he would like to make his state even more broke, for the unborned babies. Earlier this month, Brownback signed into law SB 95, a bill written by the “pro-life” National Right to Life Committee to ban essentially all second-term abortions by inventing the term “dismemberment abortion” and then saying “that’s mean and gross, you can’t do that.” And because this is a blatantly unconstitutional law, it’s going to cost Kansas a truckload of dollars it does not have. Fiscal conservatism, for the win: Read more on Sorry, Kansas, But Gov. Brownback Has To Spend All Your Money Stopping Bortions…
  it's called "fair taxation"

You Won’t Believe How Kansas Is Paying For Rich People’s Tax Cuts (Unless You’re Not Dumb)

If he has to pay more taxes, it won't be so good to be the king anymore :(
Kansas is on a roll this month, if by “on a roll,” you mean “wow, it seems like they come up with a new way to screw poor people every single day!” What are they doing now? Oh, just trying to get poor people to pay for all the tax cuts rich people have been enjoying for several years now. Those tax cuts were, of course, supposed to make Kansas grow and thrive, but because that doesn’t actually work anywhere besides Ronald Reagan’s dead butthole, Kansas doesn’t have any money. So, let’s let poor people pay for it! This is called “fiscal responsibility,” and Kansas lawmakers are ON IT: Read more on You Won’t Believe How Kansas Is Paying For Rich People’s Tax Cuts (Unless You’re Not Dumb)…
  He imagines stuff too

Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?

He has ideas too, you know
Pity poor Marco Rubio, the other young Republican senator with a fascinating story of his family escaping Cuba — legally, like good immigrants, not those moocher scumbags who don’t fill out all the paperwork — so their son could one day grow up to imagine being president of these United States of Jesus. While Ted Cruz has officially launched his campaign — if not a fully functioning campaign website — to be an official loser in the 2016 presidential election, Rubio is thinking about it too, you know, and he’d like some attention please also! Read more on Marco Rubio Will Replace Obamacare With Obamacare (And Tax Cuts), Can Be Preznit Nao?…
  Why do Democrats hate poors?

Sad Ted Cruz Wonders Why Obama Hates Poor People So Much

Christ what an asshole
Republicans are On Message, you guys, with their 2016 talking points. They are being very disciplined lately when they say lies with their mouths about the economy, maybe Politics USA is right that the nice people at the secret Koch meeting helped them figure out what to say, all together? Read more on Sad Ted Cruz Wonders Why Obama Hates Poor People So Much…
  Paying Workers Is Just Another Form Of Socialism

On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment

Well why not raise the minimum wage to a jillion an hour, then, huh?
Following the State of the Union address Tuesday, hunky but vapid Illinois Congressmeat Aaron Schock offered this wisdom on the Twitter Machine: It’s so true! Raising the minimum wage won’t eliminate poverty, so it’s clearly not worth doing. Rachel Maddow asked Schock to explain himself, and he went straight to the GOP myth that the minimum wage is a “starting wage,” and only teenagers and people just starting a first job make minimum wage. Isn’t it nice to know that the GOP is the party of economic realists? Maddow noted that it’s a pretty obvious fact that living on $10.10 an hour is a lot easier than $7.25 an hour, to which Schock had the perfect smart reply: Read more on On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Youngsters Know Nothing Of Ronald Reagan’s Work

Scootaloo is neither a gun owner nor Jewish, as far as we know. She worships Rainbow Dash
It’s been a little while since we’ve skimmed the foam off the top of the waste lagoon that is our Comments Queue, and so let’s see what’s bubbled to the top. Please make sure you’re wearing OSHA-compliant eye and cerebral cortex protection. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Youngsters Know Nothing Of Ronald Reagan’s Work…
  The First Step Is Admitting You Have A Problem

Read Sam Brownback’s Lips: Whoops, We Raised Kansas’s Taxes

Don't mind me, I'm just being a complete asshole.
The last redoubt of conservative economists has always been the complaint that their radical, free-market ideas have never been tried before. If conservative ideas have never been put to the test, the argument goes, then how can you say they don’t work, you’re not even being fair! Sadly for conservative economists and their fedora-clad fanboys, Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback has, in fact, put low-tax, low-service conservatism to the test, and it didn’t work out quite the way he thought it would. Loosen up those cackling muscles, Wonketeers, because this one’s good. Read more on Read Sam Brownback’s Lips: Whoops, We Raised Kansas’s Taxes…
  The Democratic Wing Of The Democratic Party Is Back

Democrats Trying To Tax Wall Street, Sounding Suspiciously Like Actual Democrats

But why would they work if they can't buy that second Maybach for weekends?
Looks like it’s time for another of those post-election reinvention crazes that political parties are so big on. A bunch of top Democrats, perhaps noticing the rave reviews that Elizabeth Warren has been getting from The Base — that’s why they made her Queen of the Democrats — are mulling over the possibility of rebranding the party with a more overt We Luv Middle Class And Wall Street Sux message. Tell us more, WaPo’s Lori Montgomery and Paul Kane: Read more on Democrats Trying To Tax Wall Street, Sounding Suspiciously Like Actual Democrats…
  the state of the state is great

Kansas Named Florida / Arizona / Mississippi Of 2014, Pawns Trophy For Gas Money Home

Picking Wonkette’s State of the Year was no easy feat this time around, but Kansas pulled away from the pack with its flair for the dramatic. For a few heady months of 2014, Kansas shocked the country by flirting with electing politicians who were unaffiliated with the Republican Party. We let ourselves believe there could be a chance for the state to turn puce, if not full-on purple, as Kansas Republicans sucked at their jobs on a scale that was especially shocking given the fact that many of them were running for re-election. Read more on Kansas Named Florida / Arizona / Mississippi Of 2014, Pawns Trophy For Gas Money Home…
  Here have some news n stuff

Mean Liberals Won’t Let Gov. Brownback Save Kansas With Magic Tax Cuts, Unfair!

We'll have what he's smoking
Sure, Gov. Sam Brownback has made a mess of Kansas. But that’s not why he’s about to be fired by the voters. It’s because of the evil liberals, and the evil media (which is also liberal and and also evil), refusing to let his Grand Master Plan work, which it totally would … eventually: Read more on Mean Liberals Won’t Let Gov. Brownback Save Kansas With Magic Tax Cuts, Unfair!…
  the first thing i want to say is 'mandate my ass'

Sundays With The Christianists: American History Texts That Will Win One For The Gipper

As we saw last week, America in the late 1970s was in quite the fix, and what we really needed was for a man on a white horse to come and save America at the last moment. Someone always comes to save America at the last moment. And as today’s soundtrack reminds us, when America found itself having a hard time facing the future, we looked for people like John Wayne. But since John Wayne was no longer available, we settled for Ronald Reagan. This week, our history textbooks for the Christian school market tell us all about the glories of that wonderful presidency, when we looked back to an age when movies were in black and white, and so was everything else. Read more on Sundays With The Christianists: American History Texts That Will Win One For The Gipper…
  i wonder if it's friendly?

Barack Obama Will Not Be President Of Naming Things

Barack Obama is feeling a little feisty after yesterday’s big football-spiking speech. Today, he went to Ann Arbor, where he visited Zingerman’s deli with Senate candidate Gary Peters, then gave a speech at the University of Michigan calling for an increase in the minimum wage. And since he had so much fun yesterday saying “there still aren’t any death panels,” he decided to do a little more of that cruel partisan taunting that so vexes the tea-sipping pearl-clutchers on the right. Of Paul Ryan’s budget plan, with tax cuts for the wealthy and food stamp cuts for the poors, Barry said today, they were such old ideas that “It’s like that movie ‘Groundhog Day,’ except it’s not funny. If they tried to sell this sandwich at Zingerman’s, they’d have to call it the stinkburger or the meanwich.” Oh, Barry. You know we love you. We really, really do. But your foray into “naming things” has reminded us of the happy sperm whale who loves naming the new things he meets as he falls unaccountably with a bowl of petunias to the ground. He wonders if the “ground” would be friends with him? Sadly, no. So, sir, now that you have made us all sad, could you do us a little favor and let Old Handsome Joe Biden handle the “quips”? Read more on Barack Obama Will Not Be President Of Naming Things…
  how do you say 'bootstraps' in spanish?

New Hampshire Senator Kelly Ayotte Bravely Calls For Higher Taxes… On Poor Immigrants

Buenos dias, wonkeros and wonkiritas. Are you tired of reading/hearing/tweeting about #BRIDGEGHAZI yet? Isn’t there some other outrageous news from petulant rightwing asshats that we can carp about for a while? Well, glad you asked! New Hampshire Senator and Tea Party favorite Kelly Ayotte has set her sights on screwing immigrants across the country. No, not in a ‘Kelly Does Manchester’ sort of way, but in the economic sucker-punch sort of way. Because that whole ‘the GOP needs to outreach to people who aren’t rich, old, and white’ thing is for suckers. To help offset the costs for extending unemployment benefits for 1.3 million people, Ayotte wants to RAISE TAXES! But not on everyone – just on immigrant families “that earn an average of $21,000 a year.” Seriously, we really have no idea why Romney won only 27% of the Latino vote in 2012…  Read more on New Hampshire Senator Kelly Ayotte Bravely Calls For Higher Taxes… On Poor Immigrants…
  christmas miracles

How Will Congress’s New Budget Murder You And Your Children? A Wonksplainer!

Hey Congress, watcha doing? Making laws and working hard, ahahahhaha, yeah right, pardon us and our humor. The House has already skipped town to go home and await the arrival of White Santa, and the Senate just finished voting on the two-year compromise budget resolution, which passed 57-33. A COMPROMISE?!?! Yep, it seems that Sen. Patty Murray (D-Sneakers) and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-P90X) came together on a very small budget deal that will maybe possibly prevent a government shutdown. Congress has been fellating itself all week because that’s what you do when you accomplish ONE GODDAM THING. We bet you want to know what is in this budget, don’t ya? Let’s wonksplore.  Read more on How Will Congress’s New Budget Murder You And Your Children? A Wonksplainer!…
  lies damn lies and fox news

SHOCKING: Bill O’Reilly Calls Liberals Commies, Then Lies About Debt, Obamacare, Color of Sky

Hallo, Comrades! Did you wake up this morning feeling extra-communisty? We sure did, but we weren’t quite sure why we had a deep urge to fling our rich clothes to the poor, a la St. Francis of Assisi. Of course, there’s a reason we didn’t know why: We’re pinheads!!1! And if our heads are the size of pins, who better to REDsplain to us why we are communists than someone with a ginormous noggin? Take it away, Bill O’Reilly: The answer is that Obamacare is just part of a vision for the forced sharing of American assets. Our third-grade self wants to share our ABC gum with Bill.  Read more on SHOCKING: Bill O’Reilly Calls Liberals Commies, Then Lies About Debt, Obamacare, Color of Sky…
  nice time!

Doctors Prove George W. Bush Has A Heart; Repair It For Him

We like snark, and sometimes we pick on people because they do really dumb things that make this country worser and worserer. However, even if we dislike people’s policies, actions, accents, and pinky fingers, we respect everyone as a HUMAN BEAN. With that preamble out of the way, we are happy that George W. Bush is recovering from successful heart surgery, per ABC News: Former President George W. Bush has successfully undergone a heart procedure after doctors discovered a blockage in an artery. The doctor said that the blockage was opened with no complications, and the 43rd President should be able to return home on Wednesday.  Read more on Doctors Prove George W. Bush Has A Heart; Repair It For Him…
  cry cry cry baby cry cry

Your Wayback Time Machine To Last August’s House Vote On The Fiscal Cliff

Perhaps you have just watched John Boehner manage to stop himself from weeping through his press conference outlining where we go now, after yesterday’s ceremonial Shitting of the Bed. And you noticed (after of course noticing the ease with which he told fat lies like he was Mitt Romney in orangeface, again) that he mentioned several times that the inability to come to an agreement with the president and the senate is not the fault of House Republicans, because they passed a bill to replace the sequester back in August. Let us remind ourselves of what this comprised. Read more on Your Wayback Time Machine To Last August’s House Vote On The Fiscal Cliff…