Tag Archives: tattoos

  Rachel Identity

Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are

Ready for her close-up
Rachel Dolezal, the head of the Spokane, Washington, chapter of the NAACP, has resigned her post after her parents said late last week that she is not so much a black woman as she is White Like They. The whole story has had a lot of people saying, “Huh! That’s weird!” and has resulted in both some fine thinky pieces about how exactly Dolezal got it wrong, as well as some premium stupid about why there’s no such thing as transgender people, because gender and race are exactly the same, and you can’t fake either. And now Rachel Dolezal is well on her way to becoming a footnote in a whole bunch of dissertations. Read more on Rachel Dolezal Quits NAACP, Will Continue Fight For Her People, Whoever They Are…
  get your teabagger bingo cards ready

Deleted Comments of The Day: How Many Stereotypes Can You Fit Into One Paragraph?

Sometimes when we open up the ol’ comment queue, that limbo where new would-be Wonketteers must first prove they are neither spam nor complete teabagging idiots, we feel like the Medieval Marxist’s wife: “Oooh, Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down ‘ere!” And so it was with two messages from “JustinHuman,” who just wanted us to know that he shares Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s disgust at all these poor people with fancy air conditioning: Sorry, but I agree with Elizabeth on this one. I work in healthcare, and it does get rather upsetting seeing all of the perfectly able-bodied young men and women who come in on disability benefits and Social Security in their 20s and 30s carrying the newest iPad while I work 6 days a week and can’t afford one. It’s infuriating to see people buying lobster and shrimp with their food stamps while I’m struggling working 2 jobs to feed my kids store brand basics. Then, I get to see them walk outside and get into their new luxury car while I hope my 96 Celica starts as it approaches the 200,000 mile mark on the odometer. “JustinHuman” has seen this, people, seen it with his own eyes, and he thinks it’s time for some class warfare on the undeserving¬†poors. Ah, yes, we thought as we read on: there’s some lovely filth down ‘ere. Read more on Deleted Comments of The Day: How Many Stereotypes Can You Fit Into One Paragraph?…
  havel you czeched out his face?

Tattooed Face Guy For King Of Universe, Please

Move over Wonket dreamboat Rosa DeLauro, because we have a new favorite politician who is punk as fuck. No, sillies. NOT that sad Romney face tattoo guy, he is sad and NOT AWESOME. No, this Czech artist/dramaturge/lawyer/professor OF RADNESS, Vladimir Franz, who is running for Czech president. Mssr. Franz, for the love of art and truth and beauty and Throbbing Gristle probably, please do not stop there! Read more on Tattooed Face Guy For King Of Universe, Please…
  wingnuts probably furious

Why Is California Trying To Make It Easier For Prostitutes To Break Away From Their Rightful Owners?

Dumb California hippies are at it again, trying to nationalize your muneez from your hardworking hands and use it for cosmetic surgery for lowlifes! First they took all the tax dollars in the world and gave it to (former) gang members, just so (former) gang members could their gang tattoos removed and get jerbs. And now they are trying to take your money to give to ho’s to remove their pimps’ names from their bodies from when they were child prostitutes! Have we no concern left for the pimps’ inalienable right to the pursuit of property? CONSTITUTION!!1! Ron Paul! END TEH FED! Read more on Why Is California Trying To Make It Easier For Prostitutes To Break Away From Their Rightful Owners?…
  god help us all

Americans Admit Their Religion Is Fading Away

The empty Saturnalia of Christmas has come and gone again, so it’s time for pollsters to ask depressed Americans if religion is still important. About half say, “I guess, to me, a little.” But 70% admit that their sad devotion to that ancient religion doesn’t really matter, as the actual influence of traditional religion on America’s trash society of mouth tattoos and teen pregnancy and foreclosed homes full of prescription numbing agents and wide-screen pornography is all but finished. Read more on Americans Admit Their Religion Is Fading Away…
  mark of the beast

Glenn Beck Promises To Brand All Children At His DC Rally

Glenn Beck’s potluck BBQ/Glenn Beck fan-fest on the National Mall this Saturday is going to be historical and life-changing and the turning point for America, according to Glenn Beck. Also, there will be miracles from Heaven — “Literally, expect to see miracles. Great, powerful miracles are coming.” But the miracles of the so-called “God” are no match for Beck’s outrageous plan to lure innocent children to his death march and brand their flesh forever. “This will be indelibly marked. It will be marked forever,” Beck told his followers on the radio. “It will be a brand on them.” Read more on Glenn Beck Promises To Brand All Children At His DC Rally…
  no regretz

Meghan McCain Will Maybe Honor Her New Book With a Celebratory Tramp Stamp

Meghan McCain wants to commemorate her one-week anniversary (NEW RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 31! Update your calendars!) upcoming book release by branding her upper ass-wedge with the Chinese symbol for Lindsey Graham, who is her spirit animal. Mrs. McCain will throw her feces everywhere if Meghan actually goes through with it, or so we are led to believe. [Yeas & Nays/Twitter] Read more on Meghan McCain Will Maybe Honor Her New Book With a Celebratory Tramp Stamp…
  gah!

Can You Guess the Identity of This Monster?

Wonkette operative “Kris” wants you to have nightmares forever and ever, until you jump out of your (first floor) window and, uh, sprain your ankle. So she flipped over our gross picture of Sarah Palin’s tattooed-on lipstick, and, well …. Enjoy it! Read more on Can You Guess the Identity of This Monster?…
  losers

We Told You Tattoos Aren’t Cool

The history of American Tattoos: 1) Poor greasers and sailors and bikers and gang-bangers get tattoos. 2) “Edgy” fad spreads to various musical subcultures, mostly rockabilly and punk. 3) 1990s grunge era seduces even elitist college kids into getting inked. 4) Trickle-down tattoo economics means every single white-trash person now has several ugly tattoos on their fat legs (for gals) and necks (for the gents). 5) Every low-rent strip mall has a tattoo shop next to the payday loan place. 6) Arkansas tattoo parlor proudly aligns with right-wing jesus-freak racists. [Arkansas Times Blog] Read more on We Told You Tattoos Aren’t Cool…
  ohh meghan!

Meghan McCain Will Tattoo New Hampshire On Herself If McCain Wins It

America’s most unemployed blogger, Meghan McCain, has made a pledge to the independent white northern trash of New Hampshire: if her father, the illustrious “John,” wins the presidency and carries New Hampshire in the process, she will get a fithy “Live Free or Die” tattoo inked into her. WTF is she even talking about? If McCain loses or doesn’t carry New Hampshire, she’ll still get a tramp stamp, except over her pelvis. It will say “NASCAR DAD” backed with a full-color flaming bald eagle chugging a lukewarm Bud Lime. [Union Leader] Read more on Meghan McCain Will Tattoo New Hampshire On Herself If McCain Wins It…
  what economy?

Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe)

Oh dudes here is a SCURRILOUS RUMOR we just received, possibly from somebody in America’s Meth/Tattoo Capital of Wasilla, Alaska. The email is, uh, difficult to follow. But the central claim is this: Sarah Palin doesn’t even put that lipstick on her mouth, because it’s a TATTOO. Oh jesus christ, she is so gross, especially if this is true. Read more on Sarah Palin Even Lies About Lipstick! (Maybe)…
  iconoclasts

Check Out Levi Johnston’s Meth-Trash Ring Finger Tattoo

John McCain’s people had about 24 hours to get Levi “Fuckin’ Redneck” Johnston a haircut, a shave, a tailored Italian wool suit, and some invisible duct tape to cover his mouth so that he could NEVER SAY A WORD. Somewhere along the line, however, he skipped out to the one store in Wasilla — a tattoo parlor — to get “Bristol” inked into the skin of his ring finger. Richard Cohen must be furious. [HuffPo] Read more on Check Out Levi Johnston’s Meth-Trash Ring Finger Tattoo…
  our greatest washington pundit

Richard Cohen: Whatever Happened To Books, Dagnabbit

Our favorite Washington Post old crab Richard Cohen has put together another gem today, following his recent coot-ish rambles about tattoos, his eyesight and, of course, uppity Negroes. Today’s topic: books! He is in Boulder in a bookstore, with the books that the children don’t give a hoot about anymore! They are buying them on this “Amazon” internet page, or not at all, because they are terrible, bwah bwah bwah. Read more on Richard Cohen: Whatever Happened To Books, Dagnabbit…
  old men hate new trends

We Found John McCain’s Lost NYT Editorial!

You know how the New York Times turned down John McCain’s editorial because it was boring or whatever? We think we found it — it’s running in the Washington Post today, cleverly disguised under the pseudonym “Richard Cohen,” and it’s a full-on Andy Rooney-style rant about the youngsters and their awful tattoos (pictured, left). Today’s horrible tattoos are symptomatic of our decadent moral decline, whereas the horrible tattoos of yesteryear actually stood for something … or so says one angry, drunken geezer. Read more on We Found John McCain’s Lost NYT Editorial!…
 

Somebody Got An Obama Tattoo On His/Her Leg!

Hey people, if you are in the Fort Wayne, Indiana area, you might stop by Studio 13 Creative Skin Design and ask Ryan Hadley for one of these sweet Barack Obama tattoos. Now GO GO GO, FIND US PHOTOS OF HILLARY CLINTON TATS POST HASTE or else you are all Sexists. [Photo from Studio 13 via Wonkette Flesh Ornamentation Operative Donocaster.] Read more on Somebody Got An Obama Tattoo On His/Her Leg!…
 

Sorry, White Trash: Obama Will Not Get A Tattoo

Barack Obama is going to win in Oregon as big as Hillary won in West Virginia, but it will count for twice as many delegates. Also, he won the nomination. Still, he has to keep campaigning because Hillary will never ever quit the race, so he had to do this depressing Q&A with one of the “alt-weekly” papers in Portland. If you thought alt-weeklies were the last refuge of aging grunge losers, this interview really isn’t going to change your view. Read more on Sorry, White Trash: Obama Will Not Get A Tattoo…