Tag Archives: tapes

  sounds legit

Ailes: Respected Non-Partisan News Organization ‘Fox’ Did Not Make Hot Monkey Sex On David Petraeus

Sometimes, we like to lie around and wonder stuff. Like, “What is it like being human pile of mildewed old sandwiches Roger Ailes?” Is it fun? We bet it is fun. You can send people to the dungeon; you can order the cutting off of miscreants’ hands. You get to hang out with Shep! It is probably all good. But what happens if someone betrays you by leaking a tape of some peon (she’s not an employee; they pay her less than $75 large, as if anyone could even survive on such “money”!) being a go-between for you and Greatest American Hero Gen. David Petraeus, telling him to run for president against the Kenyan Impostor, yo, and you’ll be his campaign manager, and Murdoch will bankroll it, and the rest of the people at Fox will be “his in-house.” Why, that almost sounds like Fox News would take a side in a political campaign. That can’t be right. Read more on Ailes: Respected Non-Partisan News Organization ‘Fox’ Did Not Make Hot Monkey Sex On David Petraeus…
  two minutes in heaven

Romney Tape Is Missing Two Minutes That Will Probably Lose Obama The Election

Two days after everything changed because Mitt Romney made clear he really, truly does not care for 47% of America, conservative bloggers have finally found the key to saving Romney’s ass from the comments they also think are entirely, completely awesome: there are two minutes missing from the 49 minutes of otherwise unbroken, unedited video, which something something liberal media. David Corn of Mother Jones released the “complete” audio and video of the secretly recorded Mitt Romney speech at a private fundraiser. Yet the complete audio and video is not complete.  There is a gap in the recording immediately after Romney’s now famous discussion of the 47% of voters who don’t pay taxes.  The cut in the audio and video comes while Romney is in mid-sentence, so we actually do not have the full audio of what Romney said on the subject. We must explore…the Mitt Split. Read more on Romney Tape Is Missing Two Minutes That Will Probably Lose Obama The Election…
  it's morning in america

Famous Lying Dildo Joe Miller Sues Alaska For Using ‘Discretion’

What is the one thing that Joe Miller hates more than anything, besides “Lisa Murkowski”? Discretion. Joe Miller hates discretion, because how can you “discreetly arrest someone for asking a question”? You can’t, QED. So it should come as no surprise that Joe Miller is suing Alaska, in order to “keep the state from using discretion in counting write-in ballots.” And it’s really important that Joe wins this lawsuit, because write-in counting starts today and ends when Joe Miller stops being such a dildo (never). Yes, Joe Miller says that voters who misspelled Murkowski’s name did so on purpose, to protest Lisa Murkowski’s confusing name! Read more on Famous Lying Dildo Joe Miller Sues Alaska For Using ‘Discretion’… Read more on Famous Lying Dildo Joe Miller Sues Alaska For Using ‘Discretion’…
 

Nuh uh. You’re shitting me. The Department of Justice has opened a criminal investigation into the destruction of those CIA interrogation tapes? That means either (a) Michael Mukasey will be fired immediately for not living up to the Bush standards set by Alberto Gonzales or (b) he will conclude that the tapes were fine, a little waterboarding here and there, but that’s only torture when performed by Megan Carpentier. (Shudder). [Bloomberg] Read more on …
 

The LA Times Got Scooped by Christmas

The Los Angeles Times knows what led to the CIA’s destruction of those torture tapes! If you’re wondering why you didn’t read about this, it might be because they broke it like late-morning on Monday — the day before Christmas. Hey, smooth move, guys! I’m sure eeeverybody saw it! Next time, you may want to point your team of crack reporters toward a calendar. Read more on The LA Times Got Scooped by Christmas…
 

Shocker: White House Pissed at NYT

Dana Perino, you icy chamberpot of talky talky death! Only one day after your pals Blackwater shot the New York Times‘ fucking dog, and you’re releasing a statement condemning its headline this morning? For being misleading? You, the White motherfucking House is calling someone else misleading? If you weren’t so damn pretty, I’d curse you out several more times. Read more on Shocker: White House Pissed at NYT…