Tag Archives: tampa

  important barack obama endorsements

Jan Brewer Loves Barack Obama Sooooo Much, Wants To Vote For Him And Have His Grandbabies

We knew that wagging finger in Bamz’s face was just Arizona Governor Jan Brewer’s sexxxy way of showing him she could be his naughty schoolmarm. We knew it the whole time, you guys! [Youtube, via Wonket operative “Vivek N.”] Read more on Jan Brewer Loves Barack Obama Sooooo Much, Wants To Vote For Him And Have His Grandbabies…
  twits

It Is Not Very Hard To Get Kicked Out Of A Politico Party Apparently

Tampa, Day Something — We had just gotten a small glass of Bulleit (the greatest bourbon) from the very sweet twenty-nothing barkeep, when a lady, who just moments before had gotten what looked to be a lovely pinot grigio, walked over and told us the bar was closed. Oh, okay, certainly! we said as we paused to take a sip. “No the bar is closed now,” she explained, and the dozen people standing with their drinks waited for us to put down our glass and let security escort us to the elevator. Apparently, we got kicked out of a Politico party for tweeting mean things? That is weird, right? Is that weird? Like, don’t put a hashtag in front of people and then expect them not to call you barfy? That is just how hashtags work! Read more on It Is Not Very Hard To Get Kicked Out Of A Politico Party Apparently…
  in case you were wondering still no building of that by you

Liveblogging Tampa Wednesday: Rand Paul Ryan Rubio Olympians?

I would like to welcome you all to my first ever Wonkette liveblog of anything ever except for those three years that I was secretly running the entire site but pretending I was white people! ARE YOU READY TO HEAR PEOPLE REFERENCE BUILDING THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? I’m sure you are. Tonight, we have Rand Paul, who the RNC mistakenly identified as Ron Paul, and Jeb Bush, the only Bush allowed at the convention, and Marco Rubio, who is Cuban and therefore better than Democratic minorities, and of course P90X dreamboat Paul Ryan, who is neither Ron Paul or Rand Paul but will Fifty Shades of Grey the fuck out of you if you agree to take a Medicare voucher. Drop your drawers, because it’s RNC night two: PANTSLESS PROSPERITY! Complete stupid schedule here. There are Olympians tonight, too. Presumably ones who built that. Without coaches. Read more on Liveblogging Tampa Wednesday: Rand Paul Ryan Rubio Olympians?…
  hot pix

Arianna Huffington’s ‘Oasis’ Lounge Is the Only Place In All Of Tampa That Will Let Michael Steele In

Did you know that the first black chairman of the RNC was fired on Martin Luther King Day? We are not going to look it up, we are sure this chick Miranda was right about it, she seems like the kind of person who would be right about stuff. And even if Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day, it seems like the kind of thing the RNC would do, so we are just going to go with it. Did you also know that Michael Steele was not invited to participate in this Republican National Convention, like at all? We read that somewhere, it is probably also true. Him and Sarah Palin, man, the UNINVITED. Read more on Arianna Huffington’s ‘Oasis’ Lounge Is the Only Place In All Of Tampa That Will Let Michael Steele In…
  hot pix

A Children’s Treasury Of Pictures From Your Wonkette’s Tampa Rager

So you know that thing you do where you throw a party and even though you had a wonderful time and everyone had a wonderful time you just are like LET ME COUNT UP ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT COME. You do that right? Well all our media ‘lite friends who blew off our party, please know that it has been Noted. (The only media ‘lite who managed to get there from here were reporters from the local alts, to whom we gave some fine advice on how to cover a convention when you don’t have a credential — “work” from the bar, duh — and the lovely Erin Ryan of Jezebel. See if you can figure out which of the four women at this goddamn sausage party was she!) Anyway here have some pictures from the party our head hurts. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Pictures From Your Wonkette’s Tampa Rager…
  you didn't build that ronald reagan did

Liveblogging Tampa Tuesday: Ann Romney, Governor Sandwiches, And Other Heroes

Some good news on this, the first real night of the Republican National Convention: The Baltimore Orioles are beating the Chicago White Sox 6-0 in the bottom of the 8th inning, (hopefully) allowing them to maintain the wild card lead for another night. There’s bad news too: It’s the first real night of the Republican National Convention. So far we’ve been tuning in and seen 175,032 different people saying, “DERR DERR, remember when Obama said he built all those small businesses, well, DEERRRRR, SPLAT, he didn’t, now I’m gonna do some copper wiring.” We Built That is the theme! Let’s liveblog these meatballs for an hour and a half or so while we bring the empty beer count to double digits… Read more on Liveblogging Tampa Tuesday: Ann Romney, Governor Sandwiches, And Other Heroes…
  programming

Your Wonkette Tuesday Liveblogging & Tampa Party Details

Two Things: Your Wonkette communist overlord Rebecca Schoenkopf will be hosting a Wonkette Party tonight in Tampa, at “six or seven,” which is basically right now. Go to this place: MacDinton’s, 405 South Howard Avenue Tampa, Florida 33606 (813)251-8999 Read more on Your Wonkette Tuesday Liveblogging & Tampa Party Details…
  Civility Update II

Donald Trump Yells At Rich Lady Arianna Huffington And Tells GOP To Get Mean

Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump took to the Twittertubes today to comment on the comeliness of sweatshop-celebriporn-blog overseer Arianna Huffington. We thought he liked women with accents? After the whole entire Internet said, “Eew, Donald, SO RUDE!” Trump followed up with a promise of more drama to come: “Don’t think my statement on @ariannahuff was harsh, if you knew her and the phony Huffington Post you would understand— more to follow.” Yes, Donald. If only we saw the world through your eyes we would understand. At least until someone mercifully went all Earl of Gloucester on us. Read more on Donald Trump Yells At Rich Lady Arianna Huffington And Tells GOP To Get Mean…
  navel gazing

One Third of Registered Voters Do Not Know How Horrible Mitt Romney Is

Well look who is the luckiest bastard on earth: apparently one third of Americans do not have an opinion of Mitt Romney for some reason, which CBS has characterized as a “challenge.” Your Wonkette, on the other hand, feels that this might be more aptly described as a “gift” seeing that he is a horrible person who evades avoids taxes, has a son named Tagg, and has STRAPPED A DOG TO THE ROOF OF HIS CAR. Also, what if a hurricane comes and kills a bunch of people and now we don’t get to know who Mitt Romney is? Yes, this is an actual concern articulated by the good people at CBS. Read more on One Third of Registered Voters Do Not Know How Horrible Mitt Romney Is…
  Civility Update

Neal Boortz: Public Schools Led To Obama, So Kill Public Schools

Superannuated radio screamy-man Neal Boortz has some amusing observations about how to improve America’s political discourse! Speaking to the Isaac-dampened attendees at Tampa’s Wingnutpalooza “Unity Rally 2012,” Mr. Boortz urged Amercia-loving conservatives to adopt subtle Luntzian adjustments that will reframe important issues. First off, they should always say “Democrat Party,” because “it makes them SO MAD when you say that.” Witty! Read more on Neal Boortz: Public Schools Led To Obama, So Kill Public Schools…
  aww

Big Gubmint’s So-Called ‘Probation’ Keeps James O’Keefe Out of Tampa

What has the mean old federal government done to rising indie filmmaker James O’Keefe now? They won’t even let him go to Tampa for a speaking gig. Today he was scheduled to speak and take questions at a luncheon hosted by the James Madison Institute, some winger think tank or another. Now he’s doing that by Skype, because there’s a little thing called “probation” on his record from that time he and his idiot friends tried to break into the telephone system of a federal building in Louisiana, to record a Senator. Why are government laws suppressing James O’Keefe like this? Read more on Big Gubmint’s So-Called ‘Probation’ Keeps James O’Keefe Out of Tampa…
  it's the great pumpkin charlie brown

Let’s Play ‘Mystery Date’ With The Republicans!

Political Wire asks, we answer! Republican convention planners appear to have a surprise planned for those tuning in Thursday night, the Wall Street Journal reports. “Buried deep in the convention schedule released Monday is a vague reference to a mystery speaker scheduled for the event’s final evening. ‘To Be Announced’ has a prime speaking slot late in the Thursday program.” Read more on Let’s Play ‘Mystery Date’ With The Republicans!…
  gone hollywood

Janine Turner Built That: Wingnut Northern Exposure Actress’s Blast From The Past

Everyone knows Republicans hate Hollywood, until they find a Hollywood Actor who doesn’t find them to be terrifying pieces of shit. And they have found one such, and she is going to be speaking at them during “We Built It Day,” sometime today! It is Janine Turner, and she is amazing, and we are going to re-run a post from April of this year so you too can learn how terrific and cogent and right-thinking and not at all scrambled-egg-brained she is! Famous 1990s actress Janine Turner (“Northern Exposure,” “The Night of the White Pants”) has joined the other most famous lady GOPer, Victoria Jackson, in going full wingnut, as you could probably tell by this terrifying picture of her going as Nancy Reagan for Halloween except that that is always how she looks now aiyeeeee! Anyway, Ol’ Janine over there is a “writer” now for Pajamas Media, and this is very exciting, and her first column is a holy shit of a tl;dr wherein she takes apart the word “girlfriends” with each letter forming a different way to convert your idiot liberal Hollywood bitch “girlfriends” to reasonableness by explaining that they are stupid traitors. What fun! Let’s take apart some of it (it is literally a list of 63 bullet points) until we are bored! OK, it starts with an introduction where Turner explains that it is hard being a conservative Lady at a table full of blah commie Whoopie Goldbergs, and old feminist battleaxe Baba Wawas, and the talky one, you know, the Jewish one, because conservative women are too sweet and nice to stand up to them. But Turner will show you how! G: Get Reasonable. Want to teach your children that laws don’t matter? Be a Democrat. Knowledge is power and reason is a civic responsibility. Our United States Constitution is the law of the land. Democrat think the Constitution is irrelevant because it restricts them. Read more on Janine Turner Built That: Wingnut Northern Exposure Actress’s Blast From The Past…