March 7, 2014
Tampa, Day Something – We had just gotten a small glass of Bulleit (the greatest bourbon) from the very sweet twenty-nothing barkeep, when a lady, who just moments before had gotten what looked to be a lovely pinot grigio, walked over and told us the bar was closed. Oh, okay, certainly! we said as we […]
I would like to welcome you all to my first ever Wonkette liveblog of anything ever except for those three years that I was secretly running the entire site but pretending I was white people! ARE YOU READY TO HEAR PEOPLE REFERENCE BUILDING THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? I’m sure you are. Tonight, […]
Jesse Taylor will liveblog speeches sometime around 9:00 tonight! See you then!
Did you know that the first black chairman of the RNC was fired on Martin Luther King Day? We are not going to look it up, we are sure this chick Miranda was right about it, she seems like the kind of person who would be right about stuff. And even if Michael Steele, the […]
So you know that thing you do where you throw a party and even though you had a wonderful time and everyone had a wonderful time you just are like LET ME COUNT UP ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DID NOT COME. You do that right? Well all our media ‘lite friends who blew off our […]
Some good news on this, the first real night of the Republican National Convention: The Baltimore Orioles are beating the Chicago White Sox 6-0 in the bottom of the 8th inning, (hopefully) allowing them to maintain the wild card lead for another night. There’s bad news too: It’s the first real night of the Republican […]
Two Things: Your Wonkette communist overlord Rebecca Schoenkopf will be hosting a Wonkette Party tonight in Tampa, at “six or seven,” which is basically right now. Go to this place: MacDinton’s, 405 South Howard Avenue Tampa, Florida 33606 (813)251-8999 2) Your Wonkette blogger Jim Newell will liveblog speeches from Ann Romney and Chris Christie starting […]
Pus-filled gluteal boil Donald Trump took to the Twittertubes today to comment on the comeliness of sweatshop-celebriporn-blog overseer Arianna Huffington. We thought he liked women with accents? After the whole entire Internet said, “Eew, Donald, SO RUDE!” Trump followed up with a promise of more drama to come: “Don’t think my statement on @ariannahuff was […]
Well look who is the luckiest bastard on earth: apparently one third of Americans do not have an opinion of Mitt Romney for some reason, which CBS has characterized as a “challenge.” Your Wonkette, on the other hand, feels that this might be more aptly described as a “gift” seeing that he is a horrible […]
Superannuated radio screamy-man Neal Boortz has some amusing observations about how to improve America’s political discourse! Speaking to the Isaac-dampened attendees at Tampa’s Wingnutpalooza “Unity Rally 2012,” Mr. Boortz urged Amercia-loving conservatives to adopt subtle Luntzian adjustments that will reframe important issues. First off, they should always say “Democrat Party,” because “it makes them SO […]
What has the mean old federal government done to rising indie filmmaker James O’Keefe now? They won’t even let him go to Tampa for a speaking gig. Today he was scheduled to speak and take questions at a luncheon hosted by the James Madison Institute, some winger think tank or another. Now he’s doing that […]
Political Wire asks, we answer! Republican convention planners appear to have a surprise planned for those tuning in Thursday night, the Wall Street Journal reports. “Buried deep in the convention schedule released Monday is a vague reference to a mystery speaker scheduled for the event’s final evening. ‘To Be Announced’ has a prime speaking slot […]
Everyone knows Republicans hate Hollywood, until they find a Hollywood Actor who doesn’t find them to be terrifying pieces of shit. And they have found one such, and she is going to be speaking at them during “We Built It Day,” sometime today! It is Janine Turner, and she is amazing, and we are going […]
Steve Doocy is nobody’s sex object (except your weird sister, who is weird), and yet look at how he knows how to hold his face in front of a camera without twisting his mouth up all tarded and willing his nose to be shaped like a drunken potato!
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Mitt Romney’s wife, Egg, had a dancey horse that was so good at prancing and mincing, it was going to prance and mince in the Olympics even! And because Mitt Romney does not know how to be a human husband, he was all, “That is […]