Tag Archives: tammy duckworth

  Duckworth Dynasty

Congratulations, Tammy Duckworth! You Know How Babby Is Formed!

From Joanie: Cartoons for New Children, by G.B. Trudeau. Sheed and Ward, 1974. (VERY 1974) Big congratulations to Rep. Tammy Duckworth of Illinois, and her husband, Bryan Bowlsbey, on the birth of their daughter, Abigail O’kalani Bowlsbey. The young’un was born on Tuesday, but her arrival was just announced this morning. In a statement, Duckworth said: Read more on Congratulations, Tammy Duckworth! You Know How Babby Is Formed!…
  loyalty oaf

Torture Hero Allen West Just Asking If Legless Vet Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth Is ‘Loyal’ Is All

American torture hero and semiemployed former congressjerk Allen West is very, very concerned about this “Tammy Duckworth” person having agreed to be on the Big BenghaziPalooza Special Committee, because how can Americans be sure she actually loves America, and is not some kind of legless traitor like Max Cleland? Read more on Torture Hero Allen West Just Asking If Legless Vet Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth Is ‘Loyal’ Is All…
  you only libya twice

Dems Chosen For Benghazi Committee May Make The Clown Show Worth Watching After All

OK, well now we’re actually kind of interested in maybe watching the Big BenghaziPalooza Screamathon that the House Republicans are planning for sometime, dog knows when; no schedule’s been decided yet. Turns out that, despite some calls for Democrats to boycott the kangaroo steeplechase altogether, Nancy Pelosi has gone and appointed 5 Democrats to the panel. And these are not likely to be members who will sit back and let the GOP get away with a lot of nonsense, at least. Looks like we’ll have to fire up the TiVo! Read more on Dems Chosen For Benghazi Committee May Make The Clown Show Worth Watching After All…
  the padded room is right this way dear

Just Because ‘True The Vote’ People Are Paranoid Doesn’t Mean IRS, FBI And ATF Aren’t Out To Get Them

Wonkamigos and wonkiritas, we have a problem. It seems that some piece of shit Tea Party group has decided that it is perfectly appropriate to attack our beloved 2013 Legislative Badass of the Year, Elijah Cummings (D-Pure Awesomesauce). And they did not only attack him, but they did so in a Congressional hearing. Yep, the GOP Majority, in their infinite wisdom, decided to invite these wackjobs to testify before Congress, which used to mean something. But apparently no one thought to give them basic lessons in How Not To Be A Asshole. Take it away, Politico: A conservative group claiming it was targeted by the Internal Revenue Service stole the show at a congressional hearing on Thursday when it veered off topic and accused top panel Democrat Rep. Elijah Cummings of harassment. We recently covered the bullshit IRS butthurt, but this takes it to a whole new level. Let’s wonksplore.  Read more on Just Because ‘True The Vote’ People Are Paranoid Doesn’t Mean IRS, FBI And ATF Aren’t Out To Get Them…
  we can rebuild her we have the technology

Tammy Duckworth Uses Robot Feet To Kick ‘Disabled’ ‘Veteran’ Ass (Video)

Waaah, we all thought, Tammy Duckworth will not have Joe Walsh to kick around with her awesome robot feet anymore. But it turns out that is quite all right! Tammy Duckworth is finding new asses to kick EVERY DAY! Take, for instance, this “disabled” “veteran,” who used his “disabled” “veteran” status to get SO MANY MILLIONS of IRS contracts! And what was his disability? A football injury from prep school. Oh dear. Read more on Tammy Duckworth Uses Robot Feet To Kick ‘Disabled’ ‘Veteran’ Ass (Video)…
  life in the dumb lane

Rove v. Walsh: The Battle To Be the Worstest Loser Begins!

Aren’t wingnut fightsies the best? Watching the GOP internecine (YES WE SAID INTERNECINE BECAUSE IT IS AN AWESOME WORD WE NEVER GET TO USE) post-election struggles is the best liebrul fap material. Today’s fight: Joe Walsh vs. Karl Rove. Remember Joe Walsh? He’s the spectacular specimen of humanity that ran against a double-amputee Iraq war veteran and insisted that she was not a true hero, like Joe Walsh. After he got his ass handed to him in that election, he decided that the best thing Joe Walsh can offer America is more people like Joe Walsh. He decided this so he can have an office to sleep in again. (You probably thought he had a limo and sleeps in the back — he locks the doors in case he’s attacked.) Read more on Rove v. Walsh: The Battle To Be the Worstest Loser Begins!…
  pantheon of fallen heroes

Pour A Little On The Ground For America’s Greatest Deadbeat Dad, Hero Congressman Joe Walsh

Today we remember our fallen heroes, a pantheon of peerless fighters like Allen West (probably) and some other ones. But first among equals must always be hero congressman and deadbeat dad of the decade one Mr. Joe Walsh. Let us have a moment of silence for the man whose big GOTCHA in his first debate against war hero Tammy Duckworth was that he had spy photos of her wearing women’s clothing. Okay, good silence, you guys! Now let us honor Mr. Former Congressman Walsh with a montage. Read more on Pour A Little On The Ground For America’s Greatest Deadbeat Dad, Hero Congressman Joe Walsh…
  kicking ass with robot feet

Live Blooging The Last Death Rattle Of Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh

Hey, so anybody able to get this fucker to load? No, right? HAHAHA, we just figured it out. Chicago is NOT ON EASTERN TIME MAYBE? So maybe it is one more hour before this bad boy starts? For sweet Jesus crying out loud. This is seriously going to cut into our Pimm’s cup and French dip time at Cole’s, which we’d thoughtfully scheduled for 90 minutes from now. Let’s all go do something else for a while, yes? See you back in like 45. Pfft. 7 PM Whatever time: Are we ready to rumble? NOT ANYMORE. 7:01 PM — So is there a goddamn debate or is this their regular newscast? Anybody else ready to scrape this ridiculous waste of pixels from the Internet? Ooh, a weather report. 7:05 PM — Pretty sure the moderator just described Joe Walsh as a high school dropout. Read more on Live Blooging The Last Death Rattle Of Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh…
  and then we shall weep

Soon We Will Not Have Joe Walsh To Kick Around With Tammy Duckworth’s Mechanical Feet

You know, we were sort of toying with live-blooging the last Duckworth-Walsh Illinois congressional debate, but then we were like, eh, maybe Tammy Duckworth will be kind of boring, and surely Joe Walsh is too much of a pussy to offer her a Purple Heart band-aid for her kickass robot legs to her face? But then Tammy Duckworth was not boring, and the increasingly bizarre (if that were even possible) deadbeat Congressman Joe Walsh waved around a picture proving his opponent wears women’s clothes!!! Well unlike Joe Walsh (hopefully!) we are not about to make the same mistake twice! Join us, and this livestream, at 7 p.m. Eastern as we live-bloog the shit out of whatever oozes from Walsh’s peevish puss. Read more on Soon We Will Not Have Joe Walsh To Kick Around With Tammy Duckworth’s Mechanical Feet…
  but when did she stop beating her wife?

America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress

Sorry, guys, but GAME OVER. Illinois Congressman and paragon of personal responsibility Joe Walsh has handily defeated his opponent even with four weeks or whatever left to go. How did he do this? By holding up, during their debate, a photo of his opponent picking out a dress to wear at the Democratic National Convention, where she would be giving a speech. Wait a minute, she? His opponent’s a lady? And his big GOTCHA is that she wore a dress? Do not try to wrap your puny mortal brains around what goes on in the mysterious silence of Joe Walsh’s skull. He’s ineffable, and unknowable, and a crazy motherfucker. Like God! Read more on America’s Favoritest Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh Wins Re-Election With Spy Photo Of Opponent Picking Out Dress…
  we can be heroes

Deadbeat Congressman Joe Walsh’s Simply Cannot Stop Mocking Double Amputee Tammy Duckworth’s Military Service

Oh yeah, he’s at it again. At what again? Paying his rent? Or his child support? HAHA DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! No, deadbeat congressman Joe Walsh is once again sneering at his opponent, Tammy Duckworth, who lost both her legs flying a helicopter in Iraq and now works in Veterans Affairs. Here’s what Walsh said last time: “She’s been the one working in Washington. She’s a bureaucrat. I’m a fighter. […] I have so much respect for what she did in the fact that she sacrificed her body for this country,” said Walsh, simultaneously lowering his voice as he leaned forward before pausing for dramatic effect. “Ehhh. Now let’s move on.” But has Walsh taken his own impeccable advice? Maybe no! Read more on Deadbeat Congressman Joe Walsh’s Simply Cannot Stop Mocking Double Amputee Tammy Duckworth’s Military Service…
  ehhhh

Deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh Has Purple Heart Band-Aid For Tammy Duckworth’s Missing Legs

Were you guys aware that deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh, running against Iraq veteran, former Blackhawk helicopter pilot, double-amputee, and assistant secretary for Veterans Affairs Tammy Duckworth, is the real fighter? You are now! “In many ways, I’m the challenger. I’m the guy who sleeps in my office, I’m the guy who goes at the establishment on both sides. Turned down my benefits. She’s been the one working in Washington. She’s a bureaucrat. I’m a fighter.” Well, dude’s got big powerful jism-filled balls, that’s for sure. But is there more? Yes, there is more. Read more on Deadbeat Tea Party Congressman Joe Walsh Has Purple Heart Band-Aid For Tammy Duckworth’s Missing Legs…