taliban
War schlub David Petraeus did one of his “report cards to the Senate” things today, and he’s got good news! Despite never accomplishing* a single thing in 10 years of bloody, pointless, horrific boondoggle Central Asian warfare, “It is only recently that we have gotten the inputs right in Afghanistan.” Oh, now we get it! [...]
If Afghans had electricity, televisions, or video cameras that were not trained on people exploding in piles of rocks, they would now also have their own Punk’d. According to “a Western diplomat,” some random guy let the America and its coalition friends know that he was Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, a very important Taliban leader. [...]
NATO is escorting some high-level Taliban leaders that they were previously trying to kill to Kabul so that they will make nice with Hamid Karzai and the Afghan government and we can all go home, hooray! “High-level” does not include Mullah Omar, who is apparently a “prisoner” of the Pakistani ISI spy agency. Oh, and [...]
Alan Grayson really wants to keep his House seat in Florida, which means he has a new ad out saying his opponent is a member of the Taliban. That’s fun! That is a fun way to disagree with your opponent on the issues! The Islamicists are coming to central Florida, and they are going to [...]
It’s been an exciting week for Afghanistan, the reality teevee show where farty military brass compete to see who can cook up the most death and despair using only three ingredients. Our latest contestant, “Dave Petraeus,” has an ambitious plan to send an additional 2,000 NATO soldiers to Afghanistan — probably because he hates them [...]
The Taliban is trying so hard to transform Afghanistan into a backward Sharia land, and yet, every day we see more and more signs of proper Westernization: One of the principal owners of the Afghan bank at the center of an accelerating financial crisis here said depositors had withdrawn $180 million in the past two [...]
Remember when America’s invasion of Afghanistan was our Fun War? We were all like, “Well, usually I am not digging on war too much, plus I am a Democrat or whatever and still crying about Bush v. Gore, but those Talibans did do 9/11 maybe, or Saudi Arabia we guess, not really sure at all, [...]
If you thought Afghanistan was only profitable for opium wholesalers and the defense industry, think again! According to some convenient new geological study of the mountainous, wild land that has broken the backs of so many empires, the whole place is chock full of precious metals — $1 trillion in reserves, maybe, including “huge veins [...]
Former UN envoy Peter Galbraith just said on MSNBC that Afghanistan’s weirdo president, Hamid Karzai, is a junkie. “He can be very emotional, act impulsively,” Galbraith said on the Andrea Mitchell show. “In fact, some of the palace insiders say that he has a certain fondness for some of Afghanistan’s most profitable exports.” Ha ha, [...]
HOORAY SOMETHING LEGITIMATELY GOOD HAPPENED! Go Troops! “WASHINGTON — The Taliban’s top military commander was captured several days ago in Karachi, Pakistan, in a secret joint operation by Pakistani and American intelligence forces, according to American government officials. The commander, Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar, is an Afghan described by American officials as the most significant [...]
