Tag Archives: take back wall street

  wonkette on the streets

NYC Protesters Receive Hobo Bean Care Packages

Hello! Here’s a “lost dispatch” from last night, when your Occupy Wall Street correspondent temporarily fled Zuccotti Park, mostly due to looming thunderstorms/cowardice. (The NYPD has prohibited the use of tents and all tent-like structures, hooray.) Anyway! This collection of noteworthy day-old Occupy Wall Street news will also not be heard on NPR, and not just because they’re currently obsessed with foraging for Thomas Jefferson’s favorite fruit snack. Read more on NYC Protesters Receive Hobo Bean Care Packages…
  wonkette on the streets

NYC Protesting and Palling Around With Anti-Terror Militarized Police

Good morning! Your dutiful Occupy Wall Street correspondent is still embedded with the Sandinistas of Zuccotti Park, who still want to destroy America with their nonviolent opposition to living in a terrible banana republic. We even accompanied the park dwellers on their daily morning march around Wall Street, which was filmed in its entirety by shadowy NYPD types armed with camcorders, probably so that they can tag us all on Facebook/add our names to the No Fly List/Assassination Queue. Famous non-white scholar Cornel West made a surprise visit, and we also accosted high school teachers and preachers, all of whom admitted on camera that they need to get a job. Read more on NYC Protesting and Palling Around With Anti-Terror Militarized Police…
  wonkette on the streets

Michael Moore and the Granny Peace Squad Occupy Wall Street

Hello friends! Your Occupy Wall Street correspondent spent the day familiarizing himself with the park-dwelling lifestyle (pro tip: poop at McDonald’s, not in your pants) and meeting the treacherous peaceniks that he will be spending an entire week with. Did you know that these “disorganized, godless pixies” are actually extremely intelligent and highly organized, and that they have a kitchen that serves three meals a day and a medical station that offers free medical assistance and a library with free book-learnin’? (A place where you can borrow books for reading, but no Netflix overnight shipping depot? Ha ha, just another example of “pantomime progressivism”!) Anyway, nobody got arrested today (as of 8:30pm), but there were lots of hot celebrities such as Michael Moore. And the Granny Peace Squad came and helped ruin America with us. You probably already know about the Granny Peace Squad, but are you familiar with Michael Moore? He is an old woman who wears a trashbag and talks smack about the 5-0. Videos after the jump! Read more on Michael Moore and the Granny Peace Squad Occupy Wall Street…
  wonkette on the street

American Media Hates Peaceful Protesters For Not Being Violent Pigs

Occupy Wall Street has just completed its ninth day — but you wouldn’t know, since America’s glorious free press is too busy covering the Big Stories: “New Ben and Jerry’s flavor in poor taste?” and “Man with broken leg survives 4 days in desert” and “Michele Bachmann goes somewhere, says something”). The anti-American media-fairness group FAIR recently deduced, “The answer to the problem of non-coverage would seem to be simple: If the people occupying Wall Street want more media attention, they should just call themselves Tea Party activists.” Noticing the lack of teabag bedazzlement, the official organ of the progressive movement (the New York Times, obviously) lamented, “The group’s lack of cohesion and its apparent wish to pantomime progressivism rather than practice it knowledgably is unsettling.” Your former editor/Breitbart rentboy arrived in Manhattan last night and is now living amongst these seedy people, with their evil messages of “peace” and “no more corporate greed” — and we plan on writing many vainglorious articles, chastising concerned Americans who are sleeping in a park for not being more like the violent slob-beasts who bring assault rifles to their corporate-backed Freedumb shindigs, which last two hours/until the scooter batteries run out of juice (you know, what the New York Times once called a “platform for conservative populist discontent”). We even made a video! We’ll be making lots of videos this week, because we want to help the New York Times expose these “pantomiming” deadbeats. Read more on American Media Hates Peaceful Protesters For Not Being Violent Pigs…