I’ll miss him. I’ll miss Fred Thompson and I’m not ashamed of that. Do I want him to be president? Mormon Jesus, no. But ever since Fred joined in September — looking like a primo Bushian dumbhack who’d tout his lack of knowledge about anything to connect with “people” — he’s fallen to, say, third or fourth or possibly fifth among Republican candidate antichrists. MORE »

*FRED’S CAMPAIGN BEEN DONE:* It’s confirmed: Grampa Fred “Dipshit McGoo” Thompson, the laziest man ever and lover to tadpoles of all sizes, has dropped out of the presidential race. [MSNBC]

IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T HEARD, Fred Thompson won himself one dem Senate chairs back roundabout ‘94 by drivin’ round Tennessee-like in a red pickup truck, meetin’ folks and such. Well now he done need gas money, ‘cordin to his Internets. Tadpoles, striped fish and bumblebee likenesses. [Fred08.com]