Check out the e-mail Hillary Clinton sent us this morning: “In May, Chelsea announced our ‘Project T-Shirt’ contest, and I never imagined we would have such an outpouring of support and great designs. …If you contribute $50 today you’ll get a t-shirt with the winning design and continue to help me pay down our campaign debt.” Some PUMA person is freaking about the deadline for retiring Hillary’s campaign debt being tomorrow, which is about the only logical explanation for her team selling this piece of shit-on-cloth for $50. Coming tomorrow: buy a pebble Hillary Clinton found on the side of I-95 for only $2,300! [Hillary Clinton]

Matt Green, founder of the “Christian office and educational supply store chain” Mardel, has pledged to bail Oral Roberts University out of its financial dregs with a donation of $70 million. Green will give $8 million immediately and the remaining $62 million after a thorough review of the school’s financial records. We assume that if he doesn’t see the phrase “Jesusery = happiness” 62 million times in these records, then the deal is off! Green’s donation is a direct result of his Christian altruism, and he doesn’t want any influence in the University’s affairs. Oh, except for the two board of regents seats he is demanding for his family. MORE »

Did you know that wearing a t-shirt with arabic writing to an airport is the equivalent of a “”person wearing a t-shirt at a bank stating, ‘I am a robber’”? No? Then you clearly don’t work with the TSA, who barred Reed Jarrar over there from boarding his flight at JFK because his shirt had terrifying non-Roman characters on it. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Remember when that lady got hassled at the SOTU last year for her “Support the troops” shirt? Now that shirt is going to be in the Newseum. Rep. Gus Bilirakis regularly gets confused with his father, who used to have the seat… Rep. Fred Upton loves beer. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Remember the Scooter Libby trial? Sigh… Everyone wants a Marion Barry wax figure… Josh Bolten sang with Randy Travis at the Kuwaiti Embassy… Secret living room Thievery Corporation show party hosts revealed! [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: The Weekly Standard’s Stephen Hayes is penning a 400-page blowjob of Dick Cheney… You’re apparently not allowed to wear a kilt on the floor of the Senate. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: A letter from USNews to Senate offices was checked for Anthrax… Joe Lockhart bought a huge Kalorama house the day after Election Day. [USN&WR]
* The Sleuth: “John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been sneaking over to the National Democratic Club to smoke.” [WP]

Do you enjoy winning things? Specifically things you can wear? Then head over to Al Kamen’s “In the Loop” column ASAP: he’s giving away t-shirts! MORE »

That’s right, it’s a detailed diagram of the entire Plamegate conspiracy lovingly printed on a cheap white sleeveless men’s shirt. Order some for your friends! What did the President wear and where did he get it! MORE »

The Gawker Media shop is apparently selling a lot of these terrible T-shirts in the DC area. Let us be steadfast and not rest until Barack Obama is wearing one of these things on the campaign trail! (But we’re not buying one until it comes in maternity size.) MORE »

Year after year, shirts remain a popular form of clothing. Nobody knows how long this “fad” will last, so why not stock up on Wonkette T-shirts right now, today? They’re on SALE! MORE »

Great news, funny t-shirt fans! To celebrate the Iraq Study Group’s amazing single-handed victory against the insurgency, we’ve put the classic “Four More Years” t-shirt on sale. It’s more relevant/depressing than ever, so buy one for the newly-installed Defense Secretary in your life. MORE »

Late Night Shots, America’s Fastest-Growing Coked-Out Republican Hill Staffer Douchebag Invite-Only Web Community, has their own Funny Internet T-Shirt Store. We’ve already placed our order for this one: MORE »

• Foley’s replacement on the GOP ticket in Florida has never even heard of himself. [TPMMuckraker]

• It wasn’t just teenage boys. Mark Foley also liked to “cut open illegal Ecuadorian immigrants and fuck their still pumping aortas.” [Rude Pundit]
• Democrats send out email blast about Foley without even blog-level fact checking. [Washington Wire]
• Ben Stein calls Democrats pedophile-enablers. [Hit & Run]
• Supreme court upholds Texas ban on dildos; loophole exists if they’re used for, “legislative, judicial or law enforcement purpose .” [Pandagon]
• Is Pennsylvania Congressional candidate Don Sherwood gonna have to choke a bitch? [YouTube]
• Ah, Britain — where paging a terrorist to remind him to board a plane is still considered funny, not a felony. [YouTube]
• How will Iraq, sex scandals, and the economy affect the midterm election? Just watch the share price — if anybody can see the future it’s coked-up Wall Street gambling addicts. [Tradesports]
• In Gonzales’ Justice Department, anything goes. Seriously, margaritas at lunch and Friday’s No-Pants day. [Above the Law]
• “Funny” Mark Foley t-shirts. [Spreadshirt, CafePress]

Per our request yesterday, the political operators behind the Macaca CafePress store have indeed improved their offerings — though we’re reposting this one primarily to highlight the unintinentional editorializing by CafePress itself here. MORE »

Now, finally, the George Allen “Whoops I accidentally made up an ethnic slur” memorial t-shirts appear. We appreciate the effort, but surely someone can whip up something better than this. MORE »