Here’s some Hot International Gossip that’s just weird enough to be true, because it’s about Christopher Hitchens drinking while on assignment in some Foreign Land, so it’s already 100% credible: The beloved Washington journalist was supposedly out for a night of boozing in Beirut when he chanced upon a political propaganda poster from the not-so-beloved Syrian Social Nationalist Party, the right-wing turned left-wing turned pain-in-the-ass Syrians always fucking around with Lebanon. Obviously, Hitchens needed to deface this poster, while some SSNP thugs were watching from across the street. MORE »

Finally, the October Surprise! (Ashley Todd’s cut-nut negroid fantasies were in no way worthy of the title.) We have a war, of sorts, in Syria! Who knows why or anything. It’s the Kissinger Doctrine all over again: Just bomb shit, everywhere, whenever you feel like it. Who’s gonna stop you, HEHNGHH? MORE »

Wonkette’s own Nicolas Sarkozy corespondent has kept you all up to date on l’affaire Bruni, which may result in France having a supermodel/rock star/groupie first lady. Obviously this brings up an important policy-related question, keeping in mind Kissinger’s dictum on power being the ultimate aphrodisiac: Who is the hottest presidential spouse? This week, we start with the top four first ladies. But don’t call us sexist, just shallow! Next week we move on to the first gentlemen, assessing the field before before Bill Clinton’s sad eyes and bad-boy charm blow everyone else out of the water. MORE »

The big news in fake diplomacy today is Condi’s Middle East peace conference, which held talks in Annapolis, MD this morning between Israel, Palestine, Syria and some other horribly screwed places. It just so happens that this Wonkette editor is living in Annapolis until December, so what a coinky-dink! I went down and took some pictures of the protesters, which included Code Pink, a guy who looks like Santa Claus, some old ladies and various anti-Semites. Check out the gallery, the aesthetics of which are sure to bring peace to all troubled nations across the globe.

Nancy Pelosi is in Syria supporting terror and worshiping John the Baptist’s severed head. MORE »

* Not only did Walnuts! want to be a Democrat, he wanted to run with that most demmy of crats: John Kerry. [MyDD]
* Need more? New Walnuts! campaign finance chair was Nixon’s “Jew-counting” muscle. [Election Central]
* Rudy G. is the Skeletor/Cobra Commander/Megatron of our time. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* Nancy Pelosi thinks Syria is sooooo windy. [IMAO]
* Takes a whole lot of tax dollars to be that pointless. [Dilbert Blog]
* Karl Rove will lose several pounds of ugly flab as Mark Halperin finally lets go of his nuts. [Media Matters]

* Alberto Gonzales is still speaking at the Press Club next month, it’s just the attorney general who’s not. [Hotline on Call]
* Nancy Pelosi goes all the way to Syria for secret ingredient in the Al-Assad family hummus recipe. [Think Progress]
* It’s a pretty lonely planet at the State Department. [Outside the Beltway]
* TIME magazine not too interested in covering what’s going on this time. [The Carpetbagger Report]
* More battleships in the Persian Gulf are just what the doctor ordered. [The Left Coaster]
* How to find out who else is growing weed in your neighborhood. [Hit & Run]
* If you grow it, they will drive. [Just a Bump in the Beltway]
* “An extremely drunk ballerina elephant in tutus who has just lurched into the shop.” [1115]

* Rudy G. thinks strong early poll numbers mean he gets to play Ronald Reagan. [Captain's Quarters]
* Walnuts McCain deletes his MySpace page, wants to focus on meeting friends IRL. [techPresident]
* Carl “the contrarian” Levin just wants to invade Syria cause everyone else wants Iran. [QandO]
* Bono likes Obama — surprise fucking surprise. [Shenanigans]
* Turning an MS Office document into a .pdf can turn you from a broke cube-jockey to a baller. [Swampland]
* Do explosions in the night make Dick Cheney wet himself, or just wet? [Rude Pundit]
* Lieberman gets lucky, Politico gets sloppy. [Horse's Mouth]
* Drop fifty-grand on a cause as worthy as smearing John Kerry and all you get is a lousy ambassadorship to Belgium. [HuffPo]

* Democrats plan to pass what bills they can in the first 100 hours of the new Congress. Other, more complex issues like Iraq, may not be finished in the first 100 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. [WP]
* King Abdullah of Jordan tells George Stephanopoulos, “We’re juggling with the strong potential of three civil wars in the region.” [WP]
* Bipartisan commission today begins debating establishment of diplomatic initiatives with Iran and Syria. [NYT]
* Members of Congress from both parties lament the training standards of Iraqi military and police. [WP]
* President Bush don’t sleep here no more; he just deals with his “funk” over midterms by globetrotting and considering his legacy.[WP, NYT]
* Whither the New England Republican? [NYT]
* Newspaper whose readership is almost entirely Medicaid patients reports that state spending on Medicaid declines for the first time ever. [USAT]

• On DC’s new curfew: “It’s not that city officials want to play parent to every kid in the district. It’s just that, gosh, turns out law enforcement professionals are better parents .” [Hit&Run]
• America is bad at jobs. [Eschaton]
• “The chorus calling for Syrian involvement in crafting a Lebanon ceasefire solution now includes Richard Armitage, Warren Christopher, and Mr. Flat World himself, Tom Friedman. ” [Political Animal]
• Report from the Promise Keepers meeting — it was titled “Unleashed,” and involved clips from The Matrix. [Slice of Laodicea]

• Israeli officials said the current Lebanon offensive will last for weeks, and ground forces have not been ruled out. The Israeli death toll is 24, the Lebanese is at 200+. US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will travel to the Middle East “to try to resolve the crisis,” according to administration officials, but there’s no word as to when. [WP, NYT]

• The key to escalating or defusing the conflict may rest with Syrian President Bashar Assad — a “diplomatic neophyte,” and the subject of President Bush’s on-mic strategizing at the G8 summit. [W$J]
• President Bush says he will use his very first veto on any bill providing federal funding for stem cell research. [WP, Roll Call]
• A live microphone at a dinner at the G8 summit picked up and broadcast President Bush discussing policy, swearing, and interacting with other world leaders. [WP, NYT]
• Senator Lindsay Graham, a former military lawyer, is fighting the Bush administration on detainee rights and court-martials. [NYT]
• Rep. Cynthia McKinney (D-GA) faces a three-way Democratic primary. McKinney, who hit a Capitol Police officer with a cell phone four months ago, is expected to win handily. [The Hill]
• The House of Representatives approved a treaty to protect polar bears. [AP]