DRAMATIC IRONY, SPECIFICALLY: We saw this tease on the Washington Post website’s front page fifteen minutes ago and are mentally and physically unable to click through. The headline and subhead have transfixed us with this weird numbing sensation. “Symbolism” and “irony” and “Too big to succeed”! How do these fantastical terms and wordplays relate to giving this huge company a bunch of $$$? We must click to find out! Wait. No! We musn’t. It’s better this way, just knowing that the symbolism and irony are out there, somewhere. [WP]

• WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?: Your Wonkette will now link you to a Huffington Post page that excerpts a New York Times article about the Recession possibly celebrating its first birthday now, according to math and economists. Rather than link directly to the New York Times article, we wanted to ask you, the reader, to figure out why the Huffington Post illustrated this story with an AP picture of a polar bear in a zoo staring at an enormous wooden advent candle. Is it… “bear market?” Ben Bernanke is a bear? Oh, ha!…?? In any event, happy birthday, you brutal cycle of deleveraging, you. [HuffPo]

Looky here at the wretched abomination decorating the so-called “credentials” for the sodomite heathen drug orgy to be held in a Denver pleasure dome next week. Double fail times negative 18 million whore diamonds for B. Hussein NO0bama and his upside-down Satanist American flag, which is an evil hologram from space. [9 News]

Aptly-named Representative Anthony Weiner, Democrat from Queens, has been bitching and moaning about the Statue of Liberty for years now. The Statue was closed to visitors after 9/11, following fears that terrorists, monsters, intelligent apes representing the folly of man, aliens, supervillains, or rogue political cartoonists would target it for attacks. In 2004, the pedestal, housing the museum, was reopened. The crown, though, remains closed to this day.

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