Did you know Oprah Winfrey “jumped into” the George Zimmerman trial, and she also has a movie coming out, and these two facts bond and twist together into a double helix of bad intent to make her the Greatest Race Hustler since the time Barack Obama was born in Kenya and dined alone, and also […]

For a long time now, we have been hearing that Obama is a European-style Socialist. For example: “There is a strong and legitimate interest in whether or not Obama is a Socialist,” says this one dummy from Forbes. “Obama takes his political inspirations from Europe,” says some loser. Etc., etc., etc. But he is not […]

Yesterday we learned that Michele Bachmann is a spy for the Swiss government, intent on bringing down the United States of America from within. “Go for it,” we say. But on the Right, this is a cause for great consternation. Also, on the Right, this is all considered the Left’s fault. For an explanation, let’s […]

Who was so excited to learn that Michele Bachmann is now the proud owner of a Swiss passport? The seven thousand belligerent tipsters who wrote in DEMANDING IN THE STRONGEST POSSIBLE TERMS AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF HORRIFIED OUTRAGE FROM YOUR WONKETTE ARE VERY EXCITED. Do you know that this all-caps screaming sometimes makes your Wonkette […]

In America, George W. Bush is best known for his 9/11 cowboy bravery. But everywhere else (including outer space), George W. Bush is “a brain-dead alcoholic who loves torture and death, just like Satan.” In communist Switzerland and other countries with medieval laws prohibiting the use of torture and rape prisons, for freedom, George Bush […]

A package bomb exploded at the Chilean embassy and at the Swiss embassy in Rome today, injuring the one person (intern? professional Santa?) who opened them at each location, but not killing him(s) or her(s). On its surface, this is one of the most confusing bombings in recent history, because aren’t there, well, better things […]

Everyone knows that the one upside of being trapped in the Guantanamo Bay detention center is the likelihood that someday you’ll be allowed to relocate to a tropical island paradise such as Palau or the Bahamas, where you can go swimming in your tee shirt unmolested. What, then, to make of the news that Switzerland […]

In March, Obama will be sending 13,000 more mostly non-combat troops—in addition to the original plan of 21,000 combat troops—to Afghanistan. This is the stuff of surges, people! [Washington Post] Big changes afoot at your local mall, as Disney will be looking to revamp its store there, I Thought That Closed. [New York Times] Russia […]

TOP  9:32 am March 2, 2007

World War III!

by Alex Pareene