Tag Archives: switzerland

  the color green

Breitbart Unafraid To Ask: Why Is Oprah Winfrey Such A Racist Liar?

Did you know Oprah Winfrey “jumped into” the George Zimmerman trial, and she also has a movie coming out, and these two facts bond and twist together into a double helix of bad intent to make her the Greatest Race Hustler since the time Barack Obama was born in Kenya and dined alone, and also she is a bully and A Liar? Well John Nolte, a resident of Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Home for the Criminally Peevish, knows this, and brings you some Words bout it. You see, recently Oprah said a shop clerk in Switzerland had refused to show her the kind of purse that should have been immediate grounds for execution in any sane world, as it was $38,000 and “too expensive” for her. For Oprah. Yeah, you probably heard about that. But the clerk? DENIES IT. And says it NEVER HAPPENED. Probably because she is real mad that the entire country of Swisstown is mad at her for embarrassing it with her Magical Profiling of the Africkan-ess. And that? Is enough for Ghost Andrew Breitbart! Read more on Breitbart Unafraid To Ask: Why Is Oprah Winfrey Such A Racist Liar?…
  old europe

Swiss Communists Will Be Next To Kill Whitey, By Capping Executive Pay

For a long time now, we have been hearing that Obama is a European-style Socialist. For example: “There is a strong and legitimate interest in whether or not Obama is a Socialist,” says this one dummy from Forbes. “Obama takes his political inspirations from Europe,” says some loser. Etc., etc., etc. But he is not a Socialist, alas, or we would be talking about awesome laws like the one just passed in Commie-Socialist Pinko Switzerland: Read more on Swiss Communists Will Be Next To Kill Whitey, By Capping Executive Pay…
  america's greatest pundits

In Case It Wasn’t Clear, Michele Bachmann’s Dual Citizenship Is The Left’s Fault

Yesterday we learned that Michele Bachmann is a spy for the Swiss government, intent on bringing down the United States of America from within. “Go for it,” we say. But on the Right, this is a cause for great consternation. Also, on the Right, this is all considered the Left’s fault. For an explanation, let’s turn to Mark Krikorian, one of the remaining white nationalists at the #1 internet blog, National Review‘s The Corner. Read more on In Case It Wasn’t Clear, Michele Bachmann’s Dual Citizenship Is The Left’s Fault…
  here is your post about this

Michele Bachmann Declares Allegiance to Socialist-Run Switzerland

Who was so excited to learn that Michele Bachmann is now the proud owner of a Swiss passport? The seven thousand belligerent tipsters who wrote in DEMANDING IN THE STRONGEST POSSIBLE TERMS AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF HORRIFIED OUTRAGE FROM YOUR WONKETTE ARE VERY EXCITED. Do you know that this all-caps screaming sometimes makes your Wonkette slightly less inclined than normal to type up a dumb thing about Michele Bachmann? Anyway, here is our official position: Your Wonkette expresses its profound condolences to Switzerland in light of its recent acquisition of loudmouth nutjob Michele Bachmann to its citizenship rolls. She is a well-to-do lady who is very adept at wheedling money out of the government to buy herself expensive homes, so watch out for her, Switzerland. She is already trying to butter you up. Read more on Michele Bachmann Declares Allegiance to Socialist-Run Switzerland…
  safety first

Remorseless War Criminal George W. Bush Doesn’t Feel ‘Safe’ In Switzerland

In America, George W. Bush is best known for his 9/11 cowboy bravery. But everywhere else (including outer space), George W. Bush is “a brain-dead alcoholic who loves torture and death, just like Satan.” In communist Switzerland and other countries with medieval laws prohibiting the use of torture and rape prisons, for freedom, George Bush is actually a criminal who needs to be arrested! This is why our former hero-president decided to cancel his appearance at a Zionist potluck in Geneva: Switzerland is a very dangerous place, with all sorts of “laws” and shit. Seriously unsafe! Read more on Remorseless War Criminal George W. Bush Doesn’t Feel ‘Safe’ In Switzerland…
  terrorism reviews

Confused (?) People (?) Hit Chilean, Swiss Embassies With Parcel Bombs

A package bomb exploded at the Chilean embassy and at the Swiss embassy in Rome today, injuring the one person (intern? professional Santa?) who opened them at each location, but not killing him(s) or her(s). On its surface, this is one of the most confusing bombings in recent history, because aren’t there, well, better things to bomb? Let’s do a review of this terrorist attack. Read more on Confused (?) People (?) Hit Chilean, Swiss Embassies With Parcel Bombs…
  plus a free serenade from roger federer

Land Of Chocolate And Clocks To Accept Single Guantanamo Prisoner

Everyone knows that the one upside of being trapped in the Guantanamo Bay detention center is the likelihood that someday you’ll be allowed to relocate to a tropical island paradise such as Palau or the Bahamas, where you can go swimming in your tee shirt unmolested. What, then, to make of the news that Switzerland is getting in on the Guantanamo resettlement game? Read more on Land Of Chocolate And Clocks To Accept Single Guantanamo Prisoner…
  daily briefing

Switzerland Is Feeling Just “Ehh” About Its Neutrality Lately, You Know?

In March, Obama will be sending 13,000 more mostly non-combat troops—in addition to the original plan of 21,000 combat troops—to Afghanistan. This is the stuff of surges, people! [Washington Post] Big changes afoot at your local mall, as Disney will be looking to revamp its store there, I Thought That Closed. [New York Times] Read more on Switzerland Is Feeling Just “Ehh” About Its Neutrality Lately, You Know?…
 

Meet the Anti-Condi!

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Friends, last week was totally boring in Condiland, so we’re going to ignore it! Instead, we’re going to ponder the opposite of Condi. Yes, just as there is an Antichrist (no, not Dick Cheney, Kathy Lee Gifford!) and an Anti-Elvis (Michael J. Fox), so too is there an Anti-Condi. Who is it? Join me after the jump and find out! Read more on Meet the Anti-Condi!…
 

Condoleezza Dream Team: McCain and Rice ’08!

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Condi’s been a gal-on-the-go, a veritable Mary Tyler Moore of the diplotaunte circuit. She traipsed from Switzerland to Germany and then all the way to Colombia and back again. More importantly, using advanced Wonkette Shoe Identification Technology, we can reveal the shocking news that Madame Secretary has shifted her footwear allegiance from Ferragamo to Manolo. All this, Oliver North, and Robert Novak’s wistful dreams of a Condi vice presidency … after the jump! Read more on Condoleezza Dream Team: McCain and Rice ’08!…
 

The Foreigns Have A ‘Magic Formula’ For You

Hello everyone, and welcome to this week’s edition of The Foreigns: They’re Just Like Us! Our goal as always is to prove that we Americans and those foreign Foreigns have nothing to fear from one another, and that under our variously colored skins, we’re really more alike than different. For instance, did you know that, like you, the Foreigns can’t get enough of the infectious 2002 smash hit single “In da club?” Also like you, they have ludicrously misguided ideas about AIDS, are racists, and are high as fucking kites. Join us for a guided tour of depravity, after the jump! Read more on The Foreigns Have A ‘Magic Formula’ For You…
 

World War III!

You can all go home, kids. Nothing else today could possibly be funnier than this headline. Swiss Accidentally Invade Liechtenstein [AP via NYT]
 

The State Department: More Gossipy Than a High School Cafeteria

While Condoleezza Rice is busy doing bicep curls, her State Department underlings are doing heavy lifting in the gossip department. For some reason, lately we’ve received a fair amount of State-related scuttlebutt. Here are some highlights. A tipster tells us: “The U.S embassy in Sudan held a private dinner at their residence. [U.S. Charge d’Affaires] Cameron Hume was dropping the usual comments about the Sudanese goverment. A couple of Sudanese businessmen — incidentally, they don’t support the GOS whatsoever — felt he was being over the top. One told the ambassador that his comments were inflammatory and did nothing to foster better relations between the two countries. This is where it gets good. Apparently the man has a temper. So he said that they were like the businessmen in Nazi Germany and they indirectly supported the regime. They told him that his tone wasn’t acceptable. This is where it gets better. He told them to ‘Run tell your goverment and your Prophet too.'” OH NO HE DIN’T!!! And did he draw a cartoon of the Prophet too? (If you think we’re making this up, the broad outlines of the story are confirmed by this news account.) Additional gossip — concerning Deputy Secretary of State Robert Zoellick and the infamous Pamela Willeford, Ambassador to Switzerland and Dick Cheney hunting partner — appears after the jump. Read more on The State Department: More Gossipy Than a High School Cafeteria…