Tag Archives: swing states

  we heard she has an interracial child too!

Film Sent To Over A Million Voters Explores Pressing Policy Question Of Whether Obama’s Mom Was A Slut

Good news everyone! The Right has come to its senses and realized the most pressing question about Obama is not “where is the birth certificate?” (DUH) it’s actually “was Obama’s father the left wing poet and activist Frank Marshall Davis?” and! “did Davis take nudie pics of Obama’s mom that later appeared in Bizarre Life Magazine?” Read more on Film Sent To Over A Million Voters Explores Pressing Policy Question Of Whether Obama’s Mom Was A Slut…
  more orgy for us

Skipping Democratic National Conventions: It’s All The Rage In Washington!

Who’s not going to the Democratic National Convention now? Why it’s Democratic Sen. Claire McCaskill, because she is going to lose her re-election bid. Her excuse: She wants to spend more time talking to voters! “Generally speaking, Claire has not gone to the national convention when she is on the ballot because she believes it’s important to spend as much time as possible in the state of Missouri and talking with voters,” says her spokesperson. What the spokesperson means is, she doesn’t want to be seen in the 10,000-person gay Mexican commie orgy that the Democratic National Convention devolves into by hour two, every time. Read more on Skipping Democratic National Conventions: It’s All The Rage In Washington!…
  math numbers

Here’s Your ‘Sunday Electoral Map Analysis,’ Lozers!

My stars, what a fun Wonkette Weekend we are having! We decided to start posting everyday through the election after you people kept e-mailing us about how we are lazy. Well fine, you’ve got your weekend “phunnies,” lunatics, and it comes at the expense of Jesus sending us to Hell for working on a Sunday, so, um, yeah, there’s that, right? Not that any of you Muslims would understand. HA, we joke, we love posting (??) so much that we will now take a thorough look at the state of the Electoral Map for the first time in a while, for those of you who get off on incomprehensible math-porn. Read more on Here’s Your ‘Sunday Electoral Map Analysis,’ Lozers!…
  disinformation

Obama Winning In Pennsylvania, Ohio … Florida?

Ho ho, here’s more of those “encouraging polls” you people love so much: Barack Obama is leading in a trio of states often seen as pretty important to these presidential elections. In the bitter land of Pennsylvania, Hopey leads 54-39. In Ohio, it’s 50-42. And in that one place we all love so much, Florida? The Quinnipiac swing-state poll puts Barry ahead 51-43. [Ben Smith/Quinnipiac] Read more on Obama Winning In Pennsylvania, Ohio … Florida?…
  important polls

Ralph Nader Still Trailing In Battleground States

Here are some important new Battleground polls that you should take with a grain of salt, because they have not factored in Ron Paul’s 1/3-endorsement of Ralph Nader today. Otherwise, these are pretty good signs for Obama — after all, they were conducted Sept. 7-9, a three-day period during which Democrats caved entirely to their old friend Self-Loathing and Republicans were gaining media traction with the impossible idea that they care about women at all. So why is it that New Hampshire and Michigan are being so Sexist? [The Page] Read more on Ralph Nader Still Trailing In Battleground States…
  incoherent electoral analysis

Pathetic, Failed Presidential Candidate Barack Obama To Win Presidential Election

Even though the Internet has already concluded that Barack Obama lost the election after some unknown wingnut vice president lady gave one surly speech last week, we couldn’t help but check out the electoral map anyway, just for kicks. Above is the fun Pollster map, and then you’ve got your FiveThirtyEight map, and this is a good thing to read also. Now play around with this stuff for exactly two minutes, preferably while drinking, and after those two minutes you’ll realize that Barack Obama still has this shit safely locked up. Read more on Pathetic, Failed Presidential Candidate Barack Obama To Win Presidential Election…
  expensive dates

Barack Obama Wants $115.62 For Coffee And A Sandwich

This is totally not change we can believe in! Some poor reporter in Indiana followed Barack Obama around all day on a bus and the Obama campaign billed his employer OVER FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for that wonderful privilege. Some of the bill applied to transportation and supplies but over $100 was for food — which the reporter ate very little of, because who can work up an appetite for anything except man candy when Our Barry is around? Read more on Barack Obama Wants $115.62 For Coffee And A Sandwich…