Tag Archives: suzanne venker

  probably the gays' fault too

Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Pines For Olden Days When A Man Could Get A Little Ass From His Wife

Dang bitches, ruining marriage for everybody.
Marriage, it is under attack, on both sides of the Atlantic! And Phyllis Schlafly’s niece, Suzanne Venker, knows why, because Venker has spent many years studying at the base of Schlafly’s gargoyle hooves, and she’s picked up a little information along the way. Before we even get in to reading, and thus mocking, this column, let’s make a guess as to how it goes: Feminists ruined marriage by saying “Hey, we would like to be equal and also not be shamed about sex,” which led to gays taking marriage and making it more egalitarian, and now the straight men have no power, and nobody in Europe or US America gets married, and all because some pit-haired 1960s lady named Bernice wanted the freedom to fuck. Let’s see how close we are! Read more on Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Pines For Olden Days When A Man Could Get A Little Ass From His Wife…
  biology is density

Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Is Back With Brand New Message For Ladies: Quit Your Jobs, Have More Babbies

Hi, ladies! Fox News brought its favorite “war on men” correspondent, Suzanne Venker, out of the locked room where they store her between guest appearances and let her do some concern-ranting about how women are ruining their lives by living them the way they want to, and not the way Suzanne Venker knows they should. On Sunday’s Fox & Friends, Venker got a nice warm welcome for her very important column (on FoxNews.com, natch) explaining that women really can “have it all” as long as they recognize that “it” shouldn’t include a career. And how could any reasonable human find her premise controversial anyway? As Tucker Carlson said, “I rely completely on my wife…but if a woman says that about her husband, somehow that’s weak?” We’re really happy to hear that Tucker Carlson has decided to only work part time and have balance in his life by spending more time doing laundry and staying home with the kids, which has to be what he meant, right, gals? Read more on Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Is Back With Brand New Message For Ladies: Quit Your Jobs, Have More Babbies…
  #RIPpatriarchy

Hey Ladies, Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Says Get Yourself A Hubby Because ‘You Can’t Take Your Paycheck To Bed With You’

So, Superwoymns, you know how are are trying to Lean In and Have It All and Support Yourselves And Your Families because those unshaved bra-burning feminazis have poisoned your beautiful minds with their alluring lies of equality and grrrrrl power and being able to pay the bills? Well, Suzanne Venker, who is A Expert on how women are awful (she is Phyllis Schlafly’s niece, so she comes by it naturally), has some sage advice for you: Cut that crap out right now and get yourself a big strong lots-of-zeros paycheck-earning husband: Read more on Hey Ladies, Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Says Get Yourself A Hubby Because ‘You Can’t Take Your Paycheck To Bed With You’…
  apparently you can keep a good man down

Fox News Lady Explains How Men Are Losing Ground In The Crucial War On Men

O hai Suzanne Venker. Good to see you again. How’s life in the 1950s, where you apparently live? Full of men being men, before they were emasculated and spit upon and robbed of their manly essence? It must be absolutely lovely there this time of year. Thanks for crawling out of your self-imposed cave to share with us how menz are the real victims of everything because of ladies, natch. How are we hurting all the menz? Let us count the ways. Read more on Fox News Lady Explains How Men Are Losing Ground In The Crucial War On Men… Read more on Fox News Lady Explains How Men Are Losing Ground In The Crucial War On Men…
  dude looks like a lady looks like a dude

Fox: If Ladies Insist On Wearing Pants, No One Will Know Who Has To Shovel Out From Nemo

Oh Suzanne Venker. We can’t quit you. Of course it is no surprise that Phyllis Schlafly’s niece would be a dream come true for the likes of yr Wonkette. She’s explained to us how ladies aren’t lady enough anymore, and that makes mens sad. She writes a near-constant stream of frothy nonsense for Fox and National Review. She maintains a self-aggrandizing website where she has a whole page of praise from well known people like “Julia” and “Ed.” We must say, though, that she really topped herself this time with her Fox News think piece on how we can only be happy when we are menz and ladiez, not some genderless inbetween abomination: Read more on Fox: If Ladies Insist On Wearing Pants, No One Will Know Who Has To Shovel Out From Nemo…
  it's called logic why don't you try it?

Terrified ‘War On Men’ Lady Calls For Truce Because Men Like To Kill Things

First Suzanne Venker, Phyllis Schlafly’s niece, wrote a very nice “think piece” for Fox News that was only trying to explain to women for their own good that the way they were comporting themselves (like men’s equals) was making men not want to marry them, because they (women) are angry hairy mannish whores. This made men angry, she said, but for some reason she did not tell the men to stop being angry? Only the women? That’s so weird! Then she got flooded with hate mail and backpedaled her little tushie off, saying, Oh no no no, what I meant to say was that HUSBANDS don’t like when WIVES are equal, which sort of eviscerated her claim that men aren’t marrying women anymore because of women’s gross feminism, since there are still husbands, and they are so grossed out. But now Suzanne Venker is pissed, y’all, and she is taking back her backpedaling and saying she was right all along (sort of like that Unskewed Polls guy did), and we should call a truce in the “War on Men” (a war we are conducting, again, by acting like we are “equal”) because men like to kill things. Wait, what? Read more on Terrified ‘War On Men’ Lady Calls For Truce Because Men Like To Kill Things…
  war is hell

We Have Always Been At War With The Womens

Wonkette is yr war correspondence headquarters! First we brought you hard-hitting coverage of  the war on Christmas. Now, we bring you  trenchant analysis of American’s next great conflict: the war on marriage and men: …I’ve spoken with hundreds, if not thousands, of men and women. And in doing so, I’ve accidentally stumbled upon a subculture of men who’ve told me, in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married. When I ask them why, the answer is always the same. Women aren’t women anymore. Ladies are not ladies! Men are still men, but they are sad menz who don’t want to get married! This war is ON. Read more on We Have Always Been At War With The Womens…