Wonkette

As their crook of choice faces the not particularly hard questioning of the Armed Forces Committee (Senator Levin has referred to the “refreshing breath of reality” from Defense Sec. Nominee Robert Gates), the White House is erupting in chaos and confusion: MORE »

For those of you who wrote in wondering why the Washington Post building was loaded with terrorism cops and Hazmat guys early this afternoon, it was an anthrax scare in the mailroom.

I wanted to let you know that we received a suspicious piece of mail this morning, and you may see the Fire Department responding here at the Northwest Building. An envelope containing a small amount of white powder was opened in the secure portion of the 4th floor News mailroom. The person who opened it immediately called Security. Security then placed the envelope in a ventilation hood and reported it to the FBI, who asked us to call the DC Fire Department. As you may recall the mail opening room has a specially designed ventilation system that is separate from the rest of the building system. We’ll keep you informed.

Thankfully, it all turned out to be boric acid. Or crap from Rich Cohen’s beard, we forget. Hilarious prank or no, the most important thing we’ve learned from this episode: Should a genuine bio-terrorism attack occur at the Post, the only person who will be killed is whatever non-union sap is opening the mail in that hermetically sealed death chamber.

“All clear” notice after the jump, if you’re into that sort of thing.

MORE »

This just in, from a Capitol Hill operative: MORE »

Happy End of Recess Suspicious Substance Warning! MORE »

Just a few minutes ago, a tipster emailed us: MORE »

FINAL UPDATE: All clear. BOOOOOOO–RRRRIIINNNGGG. In SF and here. Everyone go home. That robot’s on his way to Hollywood for his spin-off. It was fun while it lasted.
UPDATE5: SUSPICIOUS PACKAGE IN SAN FRANCISCO SUBWAY! THIS GUY’S GOT AN AMAZING ARM! ROBOT STILL CUTE. Some guy seems to have to like stand by the robot and help it, which defeats the purpose of a robot. Right? “NO DISSASEMBLE!” No one told Fox about the San Fran thing yet. Rather, Fox doesn’t CARE ABOUT HIPPIES.
UPDATE4: The “package” may be an “item.” Fox is showing a bunch of bike cops holding a package. Is this the package? Hard to tell. “Anything that is thrown over the fence of the White House is, by definition, suspicious.” This kid is not getting his frisbee back. White House wasn’t evacuated. They’ve sent fucking bike cops. Panic fading… robot sitting there… wait, it’s by the briefcase. The “item” is a briefcase. Robot’s moving again!
UPDATE 3: “An individual threw a package over the White House fence.” he has done this before. He is in custody. You know it’s like a fucking screenplay or something. Also, Fox called Fred Barnes for comment. Why? He’s in the bullpen? Also, Fox has just admitted that the static shot they’ve had for 20 minutes of a fence is not actually where the goddam package is. BRING BACK THE ROBOT.
UPDATE 2 (formatting thrown to the wind): THIS IS BORING AS HELL. WE HAVE EVEN TRIED SWITCHING TO FOX, BUT ALL WE SEE IS A PARKED CAR BEHIND A FENCE. THERE WAS ANOTHER BLURRY SHOT OF THE ROBOT, BUT WE CAN’T REALLY TELL HOW CUTE IT IS. SOURCES INDICATE THAT IT MAY LOOK LIKE THIS:

FOXNEWS: “As for the President’s whereabouts, that’s always a mystery” — uh, NO IT ISN’T. HE’S ON HIS WAY TO WEST VA FOR A FUCKING PLANNED SPEECH YOU BLONDE IDIOT, HE LEFT LIKE AN HOUR AGO. MORE »

Oh no! Terror! Run! MORE »

Panic! Panic! MORE »