suspended campaigns

Do you hear that? That is the sound of weeping — really, that phlegmy, breathless, hacking snot-snarfling SOBBING — throughout the land as political humorists realize the little spitty, sneery, smegmatic Torquemadita has bowed to something called “reality.” And now he is not quitting, per se (because that way you can no longer spend your […]

To answer your question re: the headline: the white one. She’s so sick right now! According to spokesman Robert Gibbs, “In the last few weeks her health has deteriorated to the point where her situation is very serious.” Rumor has it that she’s still suffering injuries from an incident this past Spring in which a […]